They settled after that. A.J. brought out their food and chatted for a few minutes about the ranch and asked how everyone was. While him and Tawson were talking about something business-like, Victor noticed a necklace swaying slightly with each movement from A.J.’s neck. It was on a black leather string with a small, marble-like ball hanging from it. There was a piece of something inside it, but he couldn’t tell what it was.
“What’s the necklace?” Victor asked when there was a break in their conversation.
“Oh, this?” A.J.’s hand reach up and his fingers wrapped around it gently. Protectively. “It was a gift from someone. They made it themselves.”
“What’s inside it?” Victor asked.
“It’s just a piece of fabric from something important,” A.J. said. Victor could take a hint. He didn’t push the subject further, commented that it was nice and let A.J. walk away. They started eating their food, which was just the right side of greasy and delicious.
“You know he’s dating Lucky, right?” Tawson asked after a few minutes of them eating. “Your sister gave me the rundown of everyone involved with the ranch one evening.”
“I can imagine how she introduced me,” Victor said, half sarcastically. He knew it was most likely how any other personwould; shy, quiet, withdrawn. Maybe he should work on that.
“She said you tended to have a quiet personality, but there were moments where you were actually fun.” Tawson’s eyes flicked over to Victor and he smirked. “I can definitely vouch for the having fun aspect.”
Victor nearly choked on the fry he’d just shoved in his mouth. He drank the last of his Coke and Tawson reached to pat his back between his shoulders. He was laughing quietly. “Don’t choke now.”
“And here I thought you liked when I choked.”
A throat clearing on the other side of the bar caught both of their attentions. Victor’s head spun around and saw A.J. standing there. “I was just coming over to make sure you were okay and refill your drink.”
Neither of them said anything. They looked from A.J. to each other and then back. In the back of Victor’s mind, it was like that Spider-Man meme where the three of them were just staring, pointing fingers. No one knew what to say. A.J. took Victor’s glass and filled it with fresh ice and Coke. When he brought it back, he stood between both of them and spoke. “I’m not judging. Lord knows I can’t. I’m happy for you, though, Victor. At least you pulled a smart one. I love my guy but he’s got two brain cells and they go on vacation frequently.”
Tawson chuckled at the joke and Victor tried to relax. A.J. reached a hand out and tapped the bar to get his attention. “I’m not going to tell anyone, Victor. Part of the job as bartender; you learn to keep the secrets of the people that come through those doors.”
“Thank you,” Victor said.
“Your man here might want to keep the eyes off you a little bit, though. Kind of giving the touch him and die vibes.”
Chapter Eleven
~ Tawson~
Tawson wasn’t thinking. After Vic told him that story weeks ago, he looked it up. He came across so many links and websites, read testimonies, read horror stories. Vic never outright said what their preferred pronouns were but there were a handful of students from the Queer club that identified as nonbinary and they went with they/them pronouns. He shouldn’t have assumed that Vic was the same. He wanted to apologize over and over, to tell Victor that he didn’t mean to assume and accidentally out him. If A.J. even took it that way.
Tawson finished off his beer and considered getting a second one, but Victor was already done with his food and his clothes would need to be changed to the dryer soon. He picked up the tab for both of them and they headed back down the street. Still, neither said a word. No one was in the building when they walked in. He grabbed one of the rolling carts and headed to the washer that had his clothes. The dryers were against the back wall where they would have a little more privacy to talk. He didn’t want to waste their time together in silence. Not inthis awful kind of silence where he knew both of them were overthinking but neither of them were talking.
He closed the second dryer door with his sheets and blanket before turning to look at Vic. “I’m sorry, Vic. Really, I am. I want you to know I didn’t mean that out of any disrespect or to out you or anything.”
“I know you didn’t,” Vic said. Tawson watched them take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “And I should have been clearer on the whole thing. I’m still so confused on it and I know that makes it hard to navigate.” He stepped closer to Tawson and dared to reach out a hand to brush against Tawson’s. Vic held eye contact. Tawson loved their eyes. Vic’s whole family had blue eyes in one shade or another. But where Paxton’s were a little duller and their dad and uncle’s were brighter, Vic’s had some hints of green in theirs. “I appreciate you trying, I really do. And I’m sorry that I dropped that on you and then we never talked about it. It’s just- We only get so much time together and I’d rather do anything else but sit and try to explain how I feel about myself.”
“That’s exactly what you need to do,” Tawson said. He searched Victor’s face, wanting to read every micro expression he gave Tawson. “You gave me the time I needed and I’ll give you all the time you need, Vic. But you’re only hurting yourself by not talking about it. If something makes you uncomfortable or it isn’t what you want to do, you need to speak up about it. It’s your choice, Vic.”
Vic stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Tawson. They were hidden from the main road, but Tawson was aware that someone could walk in at any second. The chances were low in a town this small, but not zero. And one person, accidental or not, was enough for the day. Tawson wantedto break the melancholy feeling around them. “Now, don’t make me go all teacher and assign you homework or something okay? Talk about it. With me, with Joe, family, a stranger. I don’t care.”
“Can I start with you?” Vic asked. It wasn’t joking or in a sensual manner. Vic pulled back from the hug and looked sincere. “I mean, I never got to really show you the clothes I do have. I brought them home with me this weekend. And- I think I’d like to try out the they / them pronouns. Just around us, though. Until I decide if it is for me or not.”
“I guess that just means you’ll have to come sneak away and stay with me another night, then.” Victor’s smile was contagious and exactly what Tawson needed to see. He was ready to grovel at Vic’s feet for forgiveness if that was what it took to make up for his mistake. He loved that Vic was trying. And he’d try too. He’d already made it clear to his students that his classroom was a safe space. They could come as they please with no judgement. He’d offer the same to Vic, no matter where they were.
The rest of the hour it took for his things to dry, they sat in a comfortable silence side-by-side. Vic was working on a study guide for one of their classes. Tawson couldn’t help himself but mutter a couple of the answers while Vic flipped pages to try to find them.
“I’m not going to learn it if you keep giving me the answers,” Vic said with a smile. But they would write the answer in anyway without double checking it in the book.
“What are you going to school for anyway?” Tawson asked while he was folding his clothes.
They’d already folded the blankets together. Tawson taught Vic, almost successfully, how to fold a fitted sheet. It’d been alearning experience to say the least.
“I’m going for my teaching degree, actually.”
