“Kevin.”
It wasn’t a moan this time. It was more of protest and he immediately stopped. He looked down at her. Her eyes were wide, her breaths heavy. Everything about her tense body language told him she was anxious and nervous. He was moving too fast. This was technically the second time she’d ever kissed a guy and he had her half-naked in a few, short minutes.
“What am I doing?” he whispered, more to himself than to her. “Shit, Jasmin, I’m—”
An apology seemed most appropriate, but he wasn’t sorry, just ashamed of his selfishness. She wasn’t ready and he was sobusy chasing his own need, he hadn’t bothered to give it a second thought.
He lifted off her and stood up. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I didn’t want you—”
He cut her off with a quick wave of his hand and walked into the bathroom. Shutting the door, he took a minute to breathe, trying to rid himself of all the pent-up energy coursing through him with every exhale. Heart racing. Head throbbing. He was a mess inside, riddled with so many emotions.
He looked at himself in the mirror and shook his head. “What the hell was I thinking?”
If she hadn’t put a stop to it, he wouldn’t have stopped. He shouldn’t have kissed her in the first place, though even with hindsight, he still couldn’t see himself saying no. She drew him in on every level, physically, emotionally, and now he couldn’t seem to get her and this edginess out of his system. The innocent anticipation in her Jasmin eyes, the pliant body that beckoned to every one of his carnal needs—there was no denying how bad he wanted her.
He wanted to take her. Brand her with his kiss. Fuck her until she begged him to stop. Bury himself so deep inside her no other man would ever be enough.
He gripped the side of the basin until his knuckles turned white. It was too much. He was feeling too much all at once. Lust. Guilt. Anger. And then there was this ache, the ache of losing his friend, an ache to fill the emptiness. It was safe to say he was volatile.
Dan:Using a virgin for comfort sex. Dick move! What happened to no complications? What happened to boundaries? What happened to not fucking around with that heart? I think our viewers at home are suffering from whiplash. He’s bouncing up and down. One minutehe’s trying to keep his distance, the next minute he can’t keep his hands off her.
Bob:It’s the first time he’s felt this way about a girl. He’s confused.
Dan:Nope. I’m calling it, Bob. With my PhD in psychology, I’ve diagnosed this kid as being clinically fucked up!
Bob:Where did you study?
The bathroom trapped him in a time warp and he had no idea how long he’d been in there. When he finally found the will to face her, he was a bit calmer, but no less volatile. She had re-dressed and was sitting on his bed when he came out.
“Can we talk about what just happened?” she asked.
Her lips were still swollen, her face still flushed, and there were tiny red blotches down her neck. She had his markings on every part of her that was still exposed and he couldn’t look at her. “No.”
“We were moving too fast, that’s all and—”
“I know,” he said, still awkwardly avoiding eye contact. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“I didn’t want you to stop…I just wanted to slow down a bit. I mean, we could still—”
“Jasmin, whatever you’re about to say, don’t say it.”
She let out a humph of frustration. “Can we stop this? Can we stop brushing these things aside and pretending like they didn’t happen? It happened.”
“I know! You…you caught me at a vulnerable moment. I wasn’t thinking straight, but…I shouldn’t have reacted, okay? Please, let’s just drop this.”
Bob:He’s really trying to let her down easy.
“Okay. Do you wanna tell me what got you so upset, what…made you feel vulnerable?”
He gritted his teeth. “No, Jasmin.”
“God, it must be so exhausting!” she shouted, growing more agitated. “To keep your guard up like that all the time. You don’t have to do that with me, Kevin. I’m…I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Dan:Ain’t she cute, Bob? She thinks he’s doing this to protect himself.
She was right. It was exhausting to keep pushing her away, but it needed to be done.
