The callousness of her mother was something she could accept over time. It was the lies of her father that she couldn’t forgive. He couldn’t be blamed for her mother abandoning her, but it was his fault that they’d stayed apart. He’d kept her mother away from her, blackmailed her until she lost interest in pursuing a relationship, until their relationship became unsalvageable. How could he do that? He had no right, especially because he wasn’t even her biological father.
He’d called her eighty-two times in the last few days. During this entire trip, he had only called her once and now every time she checked her phone, she found another voicemail begging her to pick up the phone. She wasn’t going to. She’d been waiting for him for years; now he could wait until she was ready to talk to him.
Kevin hadn’t left yet, and he was the best remedy for an aching heart. Just his presence was therapeutic and it gave her the strength to tackle this head-on. He let her ramble when she needed to, even when it lasted until the wee hours of the morning. They took walks together through the town. He heldher and kissed her and made her laugh. Every day he showed her a deeper layer of himself. The topic of Perry was still off limits and he didn’t fully open up; his pain was something he didn’t want to share. The guilt made him want to carry the burden alone. But despite all the hardships he’d been through and the pain that was left behind after that tragic night, he still offered a shoulder to cry on—as if they weren’t overloaded already.
She took a cup of coffee that room service had sent up and walked out onto the terrace that overlooked the crystal clear hotel pool. She sat down on the edge of one of the long pool chairs, pulled her knees to her chest, and draped her sweater over her legs. It was actually Kevin’s sweater, but just inhaling his scent made her feel better, which was generally why she opted to wear his clothes instead of her own.
Her cup was half empty when she heard a muffled groan and turned back to look inside the room. He was standing, but still seemed unsteady on his feet as he tugged the duvet off the bed and pulled it around his shoulders. The early morning sun caused him to squint as he walked outside. He straddled his legs over the pool chair and seated himself behind her.
“Morning,” he mumbled, his voice still groggy with sleep.
Half turning, she smiled at him. “Hi.”
“Can I get a good morning kiss?” She gave him a quick peck on the lips and he leaned forward again. “Don’t be selfish with those sexy lips, Jasmin. Give me another one.” She gave him another kiss and he still didn’t shift back. “And another one.”
With a small giggle, she kissed him again. This one was a little longer, even had a bit of tongue and he finally seemed satisfied. Sex with Kevin was indescribable. Sometimes hard and rough. Sometimes slow and sensual. But nothing made her tingle more than these heartfelt moments of affection.
“That was definitely better than opening my eyes and seeing an empty bed,” he said, and it sounded like a complaint. “Whydo you always have to wake up at the crack of dawn? It would be nice to just have one morning when I wake up next to the girl I went to bed with.”
“I still can’t sleep,” she replied, placing her cup on the floor. “Got a lot on my mind.”
He wrapped his arms and the thick duvet around her and pulled her back against his chest. “It’s a lot to take in and I know you’re hurt and disappointed with what happened with your mom, but—”
“It’s not my mom,” she cut in. “You can’t miss something you never had, so…I can deal with my mom. It’s my dad. My whole life has been a lie. The person I trusted the most lied to me for nineteen years. I don’t know what to think, or what to feel. I don’t know how to even begin to process that.”
With a heavy sigh, he rested his chin on her shoulder. “You need to talk to him. You can’t avoid him forever.”
“I know. I guess…I’m just scared. My mom doesn’t know me so it’s…it’s okay that she doesn’t love me.” It did sting a little. Okay, a lot. “But if I find out my dad never did either…He never asked for me, Kevin. She just left me with him. What if—” She shut her eyes and groaned. “God, I’m a mess!”
“And insecure,” he added.
“And so goddamn annoying.”
“Don’t even get me started on that. I won’t be able to stop.”
She smiled, glancing over her shoulder to look at him. “I do have some good qualities. At least I don’t scream like a bitch because of a little spider.”
Although he tried to keep a straight face, a chuckle still escaped. “I don’t know why you would bring that up. It’s in the box.” He plucked a quick kiss on her cheek and his tone went serious again. “You’ll be fine, Jazz. You can handle anything. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”
She let those words sink in and realized he was right. She could handle it. All she needed to do was have a good, long chat with her father, and even if it confirmed her worst fears, she would find a way to move past it. The real challenge would be finding a way to forgive him for all the lies. Their relationship had been strained for a few years and now it was damaged by deceit. If there was any part of him that cared for her now as much as he did when she was a little girl, then maybe there was a chance they could repair their tattered relationship. It was going to take more than just time and apologies, and deep down she knew that it was going to be a long road to get their relationship back on track. But no matter the outcome, she would get through it.
Kevin’s little encouragements lifted her spirits enough for her to truly believe that. He had a way of putting things into perspective. Somehow over the last month, he’d pulled her out of her shell and she felt like an entirely different person now. She was still insecure to a certain degree, but he’d taught her how to embrace every part of herself. Her body. Her mind. The last obstacle was learning how to overcome these fragile matters of the heart.
“Thank you for everything, Kevin. You were there when I really needed a friend and I want you to know that I appreciate that.”
For the first time, he didn’t make a comment about the wordfriend, but his mood dipped instantly. “I’m gonna leave tomorrow.”
The statement came without warning and even though she’d known this was coming all along, a jolt of pain still sliced through her. She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want this to be over. “I could take you to Florida if you want. Whatever you need to do, you don’t have to do it alone.”
He stiffened behind her. “I need to. Jasmin, I’m not in the right frame of mind to be around anyone. This is something I need to do on my own.”
“So you leave tomorrow…and then…we never see each other again?”
Hearing the words solidified it, morphed it into a rock and she could feel its heaviness weighing down her chest.
“That’s the way it has to be,” he said solemnly.
“I think I might actually miss you.”
