My phone buzzed, drawing my eyes back to the screen. A message notification appeared.
I released a shuddering breath and clicked.
Historically_Bookish: Hi ED_Fan! No one’s ever asked to rent the place for so long, but I know you’ll appreciate the time here. I’m willing to negotiate on price, and I’d love to work this out.
A thrill shot through me. The number she’d suggested was steep, but it could be my new beginning and I had the money. I lived rent-freeand worked around the clock. Plus, I’d been saving for years—since the days I’d first gotten lost in bridal magazines beside my sick mother, and then as I watched the planning and execution of her vow renewal carry her back to health. I had been saving to help my parents afford my dream wedding, but now that I’d decided to give up that dream, it seemed incredibly poetic to spend the money this way instead.
Assuming my parents didn’t use it to cover my funeral after they killed me for asking to take six weeks off.
A familiar laugh disturbed my reverie, and I turned to watch a group of people emerge from the Bistro across the street. Dad kissed Annie’s cheek, then shook Jeffrey’s hand. Mom smiled at Dad’s side. They’d coupled up and left me to eat prepackaged salad while they shared a nice meal thirty yards away.
Emotion returned with a brutal smack and immediate resolve.
I was no longer asking their permission.
Cecily, my lifelong best friend, arrived a few minutes before the store closed, a pair of disposable cups from the hospital’s coffee kiosk in her hands. She wore blue scrubs, and her ponytail was slightly askew. Cecily worked long, erratic shifts as a trauma nurse at the local ER, and I couldn’t imagine life without her. I needed her input and her blessing before I made this leap. “I got your text and came straight from work. What’s going on?”
I flipped the sign in the window fromOpentoClosed, then locked the door. “I had an epiphany, and I did something big. Now I’m kind of freaking out.”
Her gaze roamed over me, and her brows furrowed. “Does this have anything to do with the Emily Dickinson line you texted me earlier?”
“Yep.” My traitorous heart filled with grief reluctantly saying goodbye to the hope I’d one day meet my soulmate. The man who’d sweep me off my feet with his handsome face and charming smile, thensmother me in adoration and beg me to be his wife. “I’ve decided to give up on love.”
“You’re kidding.”
I shook my head. “I’m tired of feeling like I’m missing out on something because I haven’t met the right man or fallen in love. Not everyone is meant for a partner in life. Maybe I’m one of those.”
“Marriage isn’t for everyone,” she agreed. “But you want the big, epic love story.”
“Do I?”
“Yes.”
“Do I?” I repeated.
She tented her brows and passed me a cup.
“What if I’ve only assumed that was what I wanted because I grew up with the kissiest parents in all the land, in a bookstore dedicated to romance novels. I mean, did I ever really have a chance to want anything else?”
“You’ve always wanted a dog,” she said, smiling softly. “You never got one of those, but you will when the time is right.”
I sighed, saddened by yet another truth. “My life isn’t conducive to canine joy. I live in a small apartment and work twelve hours a day.” Even when I wasn’t at the bookstore, I was thinking about, or working peripherally on, the shop’s success, planning social media projects, scheduling speakers and events, or any number of other things no one else saw me doing.
Cecily sank back on her heels, either considering my need for change or the possibility an impostor had taken over my body. I wasn’t sure which.
I clasped my hands, eager and a little desperate. “I’m letting go of my need to find a significant other, and I’m just going to be happy by myself.”
“I support your quest for happiness. So, what’s the plan?”
“I’ve decided to get in touch with my inner Emily Dickinson.”
Cecily smiled. “That sounds about right.”
“Exactly. She never married. Never had kids or a big, loud life, and her words have always spoken straight to my heart. We’re a century apart, but we share a wavelength. If I can tune into that and be more like her, then maybe next year I won’t spend my parents’ entire ceremony daydreaming of running away.”
A small sad smile formed on Cecily’s lips. “Is that what you were doing?”
I forced myself to meet her gaze. “I want love too badly, and it’s starting to make me miserable. I’m obsessing, and I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
