“You owe him a lot. But you took your job to the next level. I know other PAs, and they’re nothing like you.”
“I’m just doing my job.”
“Keeping a secret like that about Dev and Brody…Fallon, that goes way beyond your job description, I think.”
“I’m an expert at keeping secrets.”
My heart kicked up. “I’m sure you have to be.”
Shadows ruled his eyes, and somber-faced, he said, “I’ve been lying to you.”
I laughed, hoping to lighten the mood. “About what? You don’t think I’m the best quarterback in the league?”
“That’s not it.” He chewed on his lip. “If I tell you this, it’s going to change how you feel about me.”
“Impossible. I already told you I think you’re the best, and that’s not gonna change.”
He rose to his feet and began to pace. “I’ve been debating whether or not to say something for a while now, and it’s gotten to the point where it’s not fair to either of us.”
Totally confused, I shrugged. “All right. I’m listening.” Clearly, Fallon had something he needed to get off his chest.
“When I went to college, I was still a virgin. I’d kissed a few guys, fooled around a little, nothing serious. But when I turned twenty-one, I decided that was gonna change. I was gonna go find a guy, have sex, and get it done.”
I winced at his matter-of-fact attitude, spoken in a monotone, as if he were reciting his grocery list. “Shit, that’s not right. First times should be with someone you care about.” I’d lost my cherry with Betty Waterson, after our team won the state championship. We’d been dating for a year, and we’d thought wewere in love. She’d wanted to get married right after graduation and for me to stay in Kansas, but I was being recruited by multiple colleges at the time and I’d known I was going to leave. We broke up, and she’d started dating Cory Stone, the sheriff’s son. Last I’d heard from my mother, Betty and Cory had five kids.
“Maybe for straight people, but we gays usually don’t have that heteronormative luxury. And knowing that, Dev was worried about me being alone and meeting someone who might hurt me or worse.”
The thought of a young and vulnerable Fallon, all alone, ready and willing to give his body up for a moment of pleasure, made me see red. “Dev was right. Jesus, Fallon. A stranger could’ve killed you or given you a disease. Shit,” I swore. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bite your head off.”
“Dev said the same thing. So he made sure that didn’t happen.”
“What’d he do? Hire you an escort?” I joked.
“Not exactly.” Fallon returned to where I sat and stood over me. “He bought me a membership at an exclusive club where people could have sex. Anonymously.” His gaze captured mine, and my stomach dove into free fall.
“A sex club?” I whispered. It couldn’t be.
“Yeah. In LA. Everyone wore a mask, and the vetting was intense.”
Ho-ly fuck. It could. It was.
“Did you…did you go?” I had to ask.
“Yeah.”
I licked my lips, my body fighting with itself. One side was filled with dread and fear, while the other tingled with anticipation.
“What was the name of the club?”
“Intensity.”
I blinked and released awhooshof air. “I see.”
“I met a guy, and we had an incredible night. After that we met for almost six months, at least twice a week. It was the best time of my life. I’ve never forgotten him.” He sat next to me. “Or how he made me feel.”
I raked a shaking hand through my hair. “How so?”
“Like I counted. Like I mattered. Like he cared. I fell hard for him. Maybe even loved him. But I got scared and ran away.”
