“I know. Especially when you’ve lived through it. When my grandmother died the winter of my senior year, I’d just turned eighteen. I guess I was lucky. I was able to stay in the house, and after a time where the state tried unsuccessfully to find my mother, the property went to me as the only living next of kin. I discovered my grandmother owned the three acres behind the house that were in demand for subdivision, so I sold it and moved away faster than you could blink. I joined the force, and there ends my sad little story.”
It was anything but the end, but Sean let that go. Tristan’s attempt at making light of the situation, along with his frozen smile, broke Sean. He understood now. Tristan’s aloofness and intensity made sense. It made his smiles—like the sun breaking through the clouds after months of gray gloom—all the more precious and beautiful for their rarity.
“Thank you for sharing that with me.” Sean squeezed his thigh, but Tristan’s focus remained fiercely on the opposite wall. He hadn’t looked at Sean once.
“It’s not something I’ve ever talked about. With anyone. Even my partner.” His tense shoulders slumped. “I hated my life…everyone…including myself. I think I joined the PD because I didn’t really care if I lived or died.” His lips clamped shut, and Sean couldn’t stand being silent any longer, knowing Tristan had never experienced love.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here. Alive. I think the world would be a little darker without you.”
Sean decided to hell with the distance between them, both physical and emotional. He leaned into Tristan and pressed his lips to the pulse jumping at the base of his neck. When Tristan didn’t pull away, Sean grew bolder and kissed up to his jaw and murmured against his mouth, “You have to know how much I want to be with you. All of you. And I think you want that too.”
“Yeah, but…”
“Shh. No buts allowed.” He silenced Tristan’s negativity, kissing him until those frowning lips softened beneath his.
Sean undid Tristan’s tie and unbuttoned his dress shirt halfway, then placed a hand on the warm skin of his chest. Tristan’s heart pounded a wild rhythm, and Sean bent to kiss the tender spot where his neck and shoulder met.
“I can’t think when you do that,” Tristan grumbled, but he didn’t move or push him away.
“Didn’t anyone tell you thinking is overrated?” He smiled and whispered, “I like knowing I can make you lose control.”
Tristan turned so their lips met, and Sean groaned under the onslaught of Tristan’s tongue pushing into his mouth. Their kisses grew frantic, Tristan shifting to face him, hands clamping hard on his shoulders as Sean sucked hungrily on his tongue.
“Not here,” Tristan managed in between Sean’s kisses. “Not on the couch.”
“Come on.” Triumph coursing through him, Sean jumped off Tristan and pulled him into the bedroom, where they stripped out of their clothes and lay naked on the bed together. Sean reached out to trace the tattoo of the snarling lion wrapping around Tristan’s side, and Tristan flinched, but his gaze stayed steadily locked with Sean’s. When he hesitated, Tristan took his hand.
“Don’t worry, you can touch it. It doesn’t hurt. Not anymore.”
“How bad was it?” The scar was ugly but well hidden.
“Bad enough for them to think I might not make it. They brought in a priest to say last rites, which I thought was funny since I’m not Catholic, and I don’t think they would’ve been happy if they knew I was gay.”
Now that Sean had touched Tristan, he couldn’t stop, and he ran his hands over all that warm skin. “Does anyone know?”
“I don’t make it a habit to talk about my sexuality, but when I met my partner’s wife recently, I kind of hinted, and she filled in the rest.” The small smile playing on Tristan’s lips gave Sean an absolute rush of pleasure. “Me still being single after years of trying to fix me up with her girlfriends and failing might’ve been the clue.”
“Well, I, for one, am glad you’re not straight.”
Sexual tension simmered between them, and Tristan’s eyes darkened. “Yeah? Me too. ’Cause then I wouldn’t be able to do this.” With a surprising, sinuous twist of his large frame, he maneuvered between Sean’s legs. A wicked grin curved his lips, sending a blast of heat through Sean that set his heart pounding and stiffened his cock. Tristan took the head between his lips and sucked, flattening his tongue along the vein as he slid down to the root and up again. He hummed his pleasure, the vibrations from his throat ratcheting up Sean’s lust until he clawed at the sheets.
“God, give a guy a little warning…ahh…Jesus.”
Tristan flicked his tongue along the slit while sliding his fingertips past his taint to run them around Sean’s rim. Who knew that under that quiet, watchful exterior lay a man who could break him to pieces with a mere touch? Sean flailed, pressure building inside him. It began as a tingling at his feet and ran up his legs, settling in the base of his spine. Tristan teased his hole, then abruptly pulled off, leaving him on the brink of orgasm.
“No, fuck. What the hell.” His glare earned him a low chuckle, sending shivers up his spine and making his cock leak.
“I’m not ready for this to be over so fast.” Wavy hair hung over his face, and Tristan brushed it aside before bracing his arms by Sean’s hips, caging him in. He needn’t have worried, as Sean had no wish to ever escape. He trembled, and the corners of Tristan’s lips ticked up. “Looks like you feel the same.” Without waiting for a response, he swooped in for another heart-stopping kiss, and like a rubber band pulled to its limit, Sean’s nerves stretched taut.
“Please, I want you so bad,” he whispered into Tristan’s silky hair, arching up to thrust his cock against Tristan’s. “I don’t want to wait any longer.”
Tristan gazed at him, surprisingly vulnerable and uncertain. “I-I don’t either.” He gave Sean a lingering kiss. “I just want you to be sure.”
Sean tangled his fingers in Tristan’s hair. “Growing up, I had no control over what happened to me. The moment I started making my own decisions is when I started living. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life as I am in wanting to be with you.”
Eyes bright, Tristan leaned in close and kissed him, then spoke against his lips. “Where’s your lube and condoms?”
Sean tipped his head to the nightstand. “In the drawer.”
