I closed the door behind me. “Ronan? Are you okay?”
“No, of course not.” The words ripped from him, and his devastated blue eyes met mine. “How could I be? How could anyone after seeing that poor little girl lying there all alone? I’ll never forget…” He ducked his head and took several deep breaths, trying to regain control. “I’d better get going. Can you give me a sec?”
It took me a minute to realize Ronan wanted to be alone. “Sure. I’ll be right outside.”
Taking a spot opposite the bathroom, I did what I often had to do: waited. Ronan emerged, eyes slightly red-rimmed, but in control once again. He didn’t meet my eyes, grabbing the book cart and wheeling it along the hospital’s busy corridor, past the nurses’ station. He stopped at the doorway of another room. I stood behind him and could see a boy of around twelve, intent on playing his handheld videogame.
“Good morning. It’s the Book Wagon. Would you like to borrow a book?” Ronan put on a hearty, cheerful voice, but the kid paid him no attention. Ronan walked closer. “Would you like a book?”
“No.”
The boy’s sullen response wasn’t unexpected. Not everyone was a reader, and he seemed to be more interested in blowing things up on the screen in front of him. The screen flickered, then died, and the boy threw the device on the bed in disgust. “Dammit. Just when I was doing good.”
“Battery died?” Ronan tried to be sympathetic, but the kid wasn’t having it.
“Whatever. I said I didn’t want a book.” His mouth set in a frown, the boy looked away.
“I know, but there’s one you might like.” Ronan searched until he found a paperback with a brightly colored cover. “You into anime?” He held it up.
The kid shrugged, but I sensed a spark of interest. “Maybe, yeah, I don’t know.”
“How about I leave this for you, and when I come back, you tell me if you like it?” Ronan set the book onto the bed. “I’m here twice a week. My name’s Ronan. What’s yours?”
“Andy.”
“Cool. Well, have a great day, and I’ll see you in a couple of days.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.”
Ronan didn’t push Andy further, just walked out with the cart. I followed him, but when I glanced over my shoulder, I saw Andy reach for the book.
The rest of the morning, Ronan visited every room in the children’s ward, always cheerful, never breaking down like he had after visiting Haley. It was hard as hell to see all the bright, beautiful faces, and Ronan had a kind word and a smile for them all. By one p.m., he’d completed his work, and we returned to the office so he could report to Dorothy, the person in charge of the book-lending program. She was a slim, no-nonsense lady with gray hair and red cat’s-eye glasses.
“Finished?” She peered at Ronan as he wheeled the cart over to the space set aside for it. He handed over the list of books checked out and the corresponding rooms.
“Yes.”
She scanned the list, her silvery brows rising higher the further she read. “Two books for Haley?”
Ronan shrugged. “She’s a little girl who doesn’t get to see her mother much. What’s the harm? I know you said only one per child, but…” His shoulders drew up, and I sensed the coiled tension within.
“It’s okay, Ronan. I’m not berating you for it. Some of these children have so little to look forward to that brings them joy.” Her eyes glittered. “I’m happy you recognized that.” Dorothy set her papers aside and studied Ronan. “You know, sometimes looks can be deceiving. Some people—especially those convicted of white-collar crimes involving huge sums of money—think community service is beneath them, or they try and cut corners.”
“I wouldn’t do that. Not to kids in a hospital. I spent too much time in one after my accident, and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”
Dorothy fixed him with her intent, unblinking gaze. “I wasn’t aware. But I’m glad to see you have empathy for the children and don’t think of this as a burden. I hope you’ll continue to prove wrong my initial assumptions about you. I’ll see you next time. I believe your schedule is Mondays and Fridays?”
“Yes. I’ll be here. Bye.” Ronan hunched his shoulders and walked away. I gave Dorothy a tight smile and followed Ronan.
“Hey. Wait a second.” But Ronan didn’t listen, striding down the hallway as if the devil himself was at his heels. I caught up with him at the elevator, where he punched the button with a vicious jab. “What’s wrong, Ronan?”
“It’s never going to end, is it? No matter what I do, people are going to assume the worst about me.”
As we left the hospital to return to the apartment, I decided to do a little more digging into his past because I sensed I wasn’t seeing the bigger picture. I needed to know what the hell was going on.
Chapter Nine
Ronan
