“Okay. Anyway, I also want you to check the mail for me, if you don’t mind, including any packages. That, and today I’m reporting to my community service. So I’ll need you to come with me to the hospital. Eventually I’ll have to find something to do with my time, a regular job or volunteering. Something like that. I haven’t figured it out yet.” Words poured out of him, and I sensed he was nervous.
“Hey, Ronan.” I leaned forward. “First of all, I’m here to work for you. You sound like you’re apologizing for having me with you, when that’s what you hired me for. Maybe it would be easier to do a weekly schedule on Sunday that we can go through? That’s what I normally do with a client, and it seems to work pretty well.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I guess I’ll have to learn as I go, as long as you’re patient with me about it.”
“As long as my paycheck keeps coming, you’re free to make as many mistakes as you want.”
Frankly, it wasn’t him I was concerned with. It was me. My thoughts about Ronan Michaels were getting too tangled up, and I didn’t want to make another mistake.
***
We made our way down the hallway of the children’s ward, Ronan two steps ahead of me. The stiff set of his shoulders, coupled with the white-knuckled clench of his hands around the book cart, were a giveaway that his nerves were overtaking him.
We reached the first room, and he threw a slightly panicked glance over his shoulder, which I automatically responded to with what I hoped was a reassuring smile. He chewed his lip and forced a smile.
“Good morning. It’s the Book Wagon. Would you like to take out a book to read?”
A little girl lay on the sheets, her pale skin waxy, but her brown eyes burned bright with excitement. A pink-flowered scarf covered her head. My heart hurt. She should be on the playground or sitting in school.
Fuck cancer.
“Yes, please,” she whispered. “Do you have any princess books?”
I almost laughed, imagining a guy like Ronan knowing what princess books were, but he crouched and scanned the shelves for a few moments before pulling out two.
“This one isSleeping Beautyand this isCinderella. My sister loved them both.”
The gentle tone of his voice stunned me, and I could only stare as Ronan lowered himself to the chair next to the bed of the sick little girl and held out two pink-covered books, waiting patiently for her to make a choice. A tenderness I’d not yet seen softened the hard lines of his face. I remained by the door.
“Can I have both? My mommy works and can’t come until late.” She traced the outline of Cinderella’s ball gown with a little finger. “I don’t have anything else to do. Ever since my best friend Katie left, it’s lonely.”
“Did she go home?”
A quick shake of her head. “N-no. She died. I miss her.”
Oh, God.The strength these children had to have. Ronan had turned gray, his jaw working hard. “What about your father?”
Her lashes lowered. “I don’t have a daddy. It’s just me and Mommy.”
“What’s your name?”
“Haley.”
“How old are you?”
“Six.”
He laid the two books on her bed, careful not to touch the IV pole next to her. “You can absolutely have both.”
Haley’s eyes brightened, and she moved the two little hardcovers closer. “Thanks. I’ve never seen you before.”
Ronan stood. “I’m new. I’ll be here twice a week to give out books to you and the other children. If you want anything special, tell me, and I’ll make sure to have it for you.”
“Okay.” She closed her eyes.
He forced a smile. “Bye, Haley.”
Without a word, he wheeled the cart out, and I followed him. But instead of going to the next patient, he fled to the men’s room. When I caught up with him, I found him gripping the edge of the sink, face wet with tears.
