“It’s not. I’m sitting here trying to figure out my next move.” I sipped my coffee.
It wasn’t unusual for me to discuss things with her. She was the first person I came out to at thirteen, right after my bar mitzvah. I remembered telling her after my party was over,“Today I became a man. But I’m a gay man, and I hope you still love me.”
She burst into tears and hugged me tight. “I’ll always love you because you’re not afraid to be you.”
We were all each other had. She’d raised me alone after my father left when I was four and married the woman he’d been having an affair with. He didn’t even make it to my bar mitzvah, giving the excuse that his kids were both sick with a bad stomach bug.Yeah. Sure.Yet despite that, she wanted me to have a relationship with him, which was why I made that call to him each year, even if he rarely answered.
“What’re you talking about?” Mom’s voice cut into my musing. “Why not? After working for a senator, you should have your pick of jobs.”
I hadn’t told her that Dan had threatened me about DJ, nor that DJ had been cheating on me. But there was no point in keeping it to myself.
“Dan made good on his threat to get me blackballed, and Ivan suggested I take time off for my lapse in judgment.”
“A lapse in judgment, huh? I’m hoping you learned from the experience?”
I chuckled. “Yes, Mother. I sure as hell did.” I sobered and took a sip of coffee before continuing. “It turns out DJ cheated on me. Maybe he did love me, maybe he didn’t, but the fact remains that he wasn’t faithful.”
A heavy sigh filled my ear. “You know I never liked the way you were treated. I hated that you settled for a relationship in the shadows. And yes, I understood the circumstances, but that doesn’t mean I wanted it for you. Now to hear he cheated on you? Well…let’s just say I won’t speak ill of the dead.”
I couldn’t blame her. I felt the same.
“But,” she began, and my lips twitched, knowing she had to speak her mind. “I know what that feels like, and I’m so angry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve it.”
I changed the subject. “So, you and Ira going out to dinner?” Ira was her boyfriend of ten years.
“Yes. And a show. There’s a local theater group putting on a production ofPretty Woman, and they’re supposed to be good.”
“Sounds like fun. Have a great time.”
“While I have you on the phone, I wanted to talk to you about something. Ira and I…well, we’re thinking of moving in together.”
I sensed hesitancy. “What’s the problem? Is he pressuring you?”
“No. It’s you I’m thinking of.”
“Me? Why would you be worried about me?”
“A parent never stops worrying about a child. I want to make sure you’re okay with it. Ira loves you and wants you to be okay with the decision.”
“Of course I am. Ira’s terrific. I’ve been waiting for this to happen.”
“What about you? Have you met anyone? Dated at all?”
My stomach sank. “Not at the moment. I’m trying to get my professional life in order first, which is more important. I can’t keep living off Isaac.”
“How’s he doing? Has he met anyone? How can he be such a wonderful person yet never serious with anyone?”
“Isaac is…Isaac. Crazy, fun, and generous to a fault.”
My mother sighed. “I always wondered if you two wouldn’t be good for each other.” I could hear the hopefulness in her voice.
I smiled. “No, Mom. We would not be. Trust me.”
While Isaac was stupid good-looking and had a heart of gold, neither of us had ever felt any sexual attraction to the other. In high school we’d once tried kissing and instead had laughed all the way through. It was the most awkward, unsexy experience of our lives.
“I just don’t want you sitting around moping. You’re almost forty years old, Gabriel. I want you to be settled and have someone special. Don’t you?”
Sidestepping her question, I replied, “First I need a job.”
