When Win didn’t answer, Elliot’s nerves grew taut to the point of breaking.
Finally, Win said, “It was upsetting, but not because of what you might think. I didn’t lie to you, but by not telling you, I made it just as bad. And for that I’m sorry.”
Wait, what? Win was apologizing to him?
“You don’t owe me an apology. I jumped to conclusions based on half a story.”
“I do. Why don’t you get dressed, and I’ll meet you downstairs. I think it’s time to talk about it.”
“Win…I wasn’t pushing…”
His smile was sad but understanding. “I didn’t say you were. But I want to.” A squeeze to his hand, and Win left him sitting on the bed.
Elliot’s phone continued to buzz with texts from his idiot friends, and since this was something he could control, he grabbed it and texted in all caps:
STOP. IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. I’LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.
Once again he shut it off, dressed, and hurried to speak to Win. Or listen. Because there was nothing he wanted more than to listen to what Win had to say.
He found Win standing in the hallway, looking at the photographs on the wall, and he glanced up when Elliot joined him.
“How come there aren’t more pictures of you? No high school or graduation photos?” His brow wrinkled. “I know I saw them up in your room. Not that you weren’t a cute baby.”
He forced a smile. “You’d have to ask my parents. I don’t remember them taking many pictures of me. Once I went away to college, I took tons with my friends, and I keep them online now. But there aren’t many of me throughout my childhood that I know of.”
“The picture you saw of Kevin and myself in my kitchen was taken when I was promoted and he took me away on an impromptu trip to Fire Island to celebrate. Kevin was like that—the one to plan our weekends, always making sure celebrations weren’t forgotten.”
A conversation like this didn’t belong in a hallway, so Elliot took Win’s cold hand and led him to the living room. Win sat on the couch, and when Elliot left his side to sit in the old recliner, Win shook his head.
“Don’t. Please?” He patted the empty space beside him.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.” Win shifted, and Elliot settled in next to him. “Tell me what you want to know.”
“You don’t have to do this. I know it’s too painful for you.” Elliot was dying to know everything about Win’s husband, but he didn’t feel he had the right to ask. And yet Win had become his friend, someone he’d opened up to about his sister and his yawning loneliness. Someone he’d dared to hope he could share his life with.
“A year ago I would’ve agreed with you. I couldn’t do anything but go to work and come home. I volunteered for all the riskiest assignments because I didn’t care if I lived or died.”
All this was said in a low, hypnotic monotone, and it took Elliot a moment to process the words.
“You wanted to die? And yet you told me I shouldn’t think that way.”
“You were a child. You had a whole life ahead of you. I’d already had my happiness. I knew what love was.”
“So you thought it wouldn’t matter if you died too? Your parents would’ve been devastated.”
Win clasped and reclasped his hands, and Elliot recalled how tenderly they’d touched him, instinctively knowing all the places that made him come alive.
“I know. It’s the main reason I never acted on it. My parents loved Kevin, and when we got married, he became their second son. They formed an incredibly close bond. Kevin’s parents never accepted him or our relationship.”
“I’m sorry. That must’ve been rough. I was lucky to never have that problem.”
“I promised him he’d always have a family with us, and he always said he was lucky to find me because of my parents.”
If he’d had parents like Win’s, he’d be the luckiest man on earth. Even from their brief meeting, Elliot could see how much they loved their son.
“How did you two meet?”
