Chapter Twenty-One
The wild alarm in Win’s eyes told him everything he needed to know, and he shoved the phone into his pocket.
“I guess Wolf was right. Now I see why you wanted to have a friends-with-benefits arrangement. And here I thought you’d never been serious with anyone. All the talk of a relationship between us was bullshit, wasn’t it? You probably agreed to it because I made it so easy for you. And you couldn’t promise me anything serious because you already have a husband. Where is he—in another state? You have some crazy long-distance relationship, and you get to fuck other people on the side, is that it?”
It hurt so bad, Elliot found it hard to breathe, and he needed to hold on to the doorframe to keep from sinking. “Well, fuck you. Go use another sucker. Take your sick game somewhere else, because I’m not playing. I don’t fuck married men.” Something niggled at the back of his mind, and he stormed past Win to the kitchen, grabbed the picture from the wall, and stood for a moment, gazing at the smiling faces. Footsteps sounded behind him, and he whirled around and brandished the photograph in Win’s grim face.
“This is him, right? Your husband? I saw that here and figured it was a friend, maybe an old boyfriend you still kept in touch with, because you were too nice, too sweet to hide something so big and important from me. But I was wrong, wasn’t I? I’m always wrong. All you wanted was someone to fool around with until the person you really cared about came home.”
He wanted to take the photograph and smash it on the floor, but even then he couldn’t, so he set it on the counter and headed for the front door.
“Elliot, please. Can you stop for a minute and listen to me?”
“Why? So you can tell me more lies?” He ran his hands over his face, hoping to hell he wouldn’t make a fool of himself by crying. That would come later. “What I can’t believe is that I met your parents, and they were so nice to me. I can’t even imagine the lies you’ve toldthem. What kind of a personareyou?”
Humiliated and done with the conversation, Elliot wrenched opened the door and took off, crossing the driveway between their houses. He heard Win calling after him but didn’t answer, and he slammed into his house. His texts were blowing up, both from his friends and Win, but he shut off his phone and went upstairs to take a shower. The hot water beat against his skin until it began to cool, and then he shut it off. Naked and dripping, he stared at his blurry image in the foggy mirror. Why not him? Why never him?
He left the steamy bathroom, and— “Shit!” he yelled and jumped, dropping the towel, when he found Win sitting on his bed. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“You wouldn’t answer my texts, phone calls, or the doorbell. I turned the knob, and you’d left the door open.” Win glared at him. “Didn’t you learn anything after your house was broken into? Why bother with an alarm if you’re not going to use it?”
“You have a fucking lot of nerve to come into my house unasked—which in my mind isn’t much different than breaking in, by the way—and lecture me, when you’ve been lying to me, or cheating on your husband, or both.”
“I’m not a cheater,” Win yelled, rising from the bed. “You need to let me explain.”
Elliot picked up his towel and wrapped it around his waist, but he stood his ground, even when Win advanced on him.
“I don’t need to let you do anything. You lied to me.”
“No. I didn’t.”
Elliot’s mouth fell open, and he grabbed his phone and turned it on. “What is this, then?” He scrolled through the barrage of messages until he came to the first one from Wolf. An announcement in a newspaper from ten years earlier filled the screen. “Isn’t this you?” He held the screen up to Win’s face and watched him blanch. “It is, right? Winston Rogers, a New York City police officer, marries Kevin Chamberlin, a graphic designer, in a private ceremony in Prospect Park.”
Eyes locked on his, Win whispered, “Yes, it’s me. But—”
“But nothing. You’re married.” Hating how his voice cracked and quivered, Elliot pressed his lips together, determined not to cry in front of Win.
“No. No, I’m not. Not any longer. He died,” Win said softly. “Five years ago.”
Stunned, Elliot began to shake and sank down on the bed. “What? Died?” The awful words stuck in his throat, and like he’d taken a punch to the gut, Elliot found it hard to breathe.
His head bowed, Win stood before him. “Kevin and I lived in a big house right on the border of Queens and Long Island. I worked in Ridgewood, and his office was in Hicksville. One morning in December, it had started to snow, and Kevin used to drive to work. He asked if I wanted him to drop me off, but my tour didn’t start until later in the day. He left, giving himself extra time because of the weather. And that was the last time I saw him. They say it must’ve happened quickly and he didn’t suffer. A speeding Chevy Suburban hit a patch of ice and spun out on the Southern State near the Meadowbrook. It smashed Kevin’s car into the median. The guy walked away with only a few scratches. He said he was running late for work and was trying to make up time. Instead, he killed my husband.”
The truth was so much more awful than Elliot could’ve ever imagined. Seeing Win standing in front of him, struggling to hold himself together, all of Elliot’s earlier animosity and hurt vanished.
“I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know what to say. Oh my God, why didn’t you ever say anything? I didn’t know…” He faltered, not knowing what else he could say, the horror of Win’s loss unimaginable. “I’m sorry. Oh Christ, I feel like shit.”
“Can I sit?” Win motioned to the bed, and Elliot shifted over to make room.
“Yeah, of course.” All he wanted was to crawl away in a hole and curl up from the pain he’d caused Win. The man must hate him for how he’d behaved. “But you don’t owe me any explanation.”
The faintest of smiles touched Win’s lips. “It’s okay. I’m not made of glass.”
“I’m such an idiot. I should’ve known you wouldn’t do that to me. I’m gonna kill Wolf when I see him,” he muttered to himself.
Win smoothed his damp waves. “Well, even though he didn’t get the whole story, don’t be mad at him. He did what he thought was right and was protecting his friend. I was the coward for not telling you the truth.”
“He’s a damn lawyer. He should get all the facts before dropping a bombshell like this.” None of it really mattered. Only Win did, and so Elliot faced him like a man, hoping Win believed him. “I’m really sorry I accused you of lying to me. It must’ve been so hurtful to have that flung in your face.”
