“Luca was twenty-five, gorgeous, and I fell in lust. Before I met him, I’d fooled around a little with boys and girls, but no one had ever turned me on like him. I’d go to bed and wake up in the middle of the most erotic dreams, halfway to climax. I couldn’t pay attention to anything he said. I’d just stare at his mouth all the time, until one day I kissed him.”
I thought I’d finally shocked him.
“I remember you said. And he kissed you back. I still can’t believe he was your teacher and let you. He should’ve said no.”
I barked out a laugh. “It wouldn’t have mattered. I wanted him, and kissing him unleashed this incredible sexual desire. I couldn’t stop, and we wound up naked in my bedroom, having sex.”
“That was so wrong of him. You were a child.”
“I was adult enough to know I wanted to suck his cock and have him suck mine.” Torre flinched at my crudeness, but I didn’t care. “I couldn’t get enough of him, and after that we didn’t even bother with the pretense of art lessons; we’d just end up in bed together. He’d leave me sore for days, but I took how insatiable he was as a sign of how much he loved me.”
“The fact that he wanted you didn’t make it any less wrong.”
“I had no one but Presley in my life. Do you know what that’s like?” I shook my head. “No, of course you don’t. By all accounts, you had a perfect family—loving parents and a brother who’s your best friend. I can see now with the wisdom of the almost forty-year-old me that it wasn’t right. But the sixteen-year-old Frisco was horny as hell, confused, and lonely.” Those words falling from my lips…this was the first time I’d ever admitted any of this out loud.
“I can’t fathom how much you wanted to be loved. I’m sorry.” Torre left his chair to sit by my side and put his hand on my thigh. “Do I need to ask? He broke it off with you?”
The fact that I could smile now was a sign of how far I’d come. “No. He didn’t. He was having his cake and eating it too. One day we were lying together, and I told him I loved him. He called me his sweet boy, said he loved me too but we couldn’t ever be together. I told him he couldn’t see it now when I was sixteen, but when I would be twenty-one and he thirty, the world would be much more accepting and we could be together. He kissed me and said there was a long time until that day, that we should just enjoy each other as much as we could, and what he’d enjoy at that moment was my mouth on his dick.” I swallowed hard.
He squeezed my hands. “Tell me. Please. I’m here for you.”
I focused on his eyes, his face, and waited for the devil on my shoulder to poke fun at me, but he remained silent.
“Then one night, I woke up to screaming and shouting. Scared there was a break-in, I peered out of my bedroom toward my mother’s room, and saw Luca running down the hallway, pants open, no shirt, and clutching his shoes to his chest. He passed right by me on his way out the front door. My mother stood in the doorway, stark naked, while my father yelled at her and called her a whore for bringing her lovers into his house. ‘Have a little fucking discretion,’ he ranted. Ironic, no?” I tried to draw air into my lungs, but I couldn’t and began to hyperventilate.
“I’ve got you. I’m here.” Torre brushed his lips to mine again and again until I could breathe.
I gathered myself and continued. “So my boyfriend was also fucking my mother. At the same time.”
“Oh, Frisco.” Torre put his head on my shoulder. “Oh, babe, I’m sorry. What happened?”
“After my parents finished flinging insults at each other, my father left, but not before telling her he was going back to Italy for good and filing for divorce. He should’ve done it years earlier, he said. Their marriage was a farce, and he should’ve never allowed himself to be talked into it. No mention of me—he didn’t give a damn.”
I walked over to my mother’s room and banged on the door.
“What do you want?” She was red-faced and breathless from her screaming. I looked at her dispassionately, and could say that at thirty-four, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. And I hated her.
“Are you sleeping with Luca?”
Her eyes widened, then narrowed. “That’s not for me to talk about with you. It’s none of your business.” She tried to close the door in my face, but I wouldn’t let her.
“It is when I’ve been fucking him too.”
“Maybe so, but Luca and I have been together for a year. I brought him as your tutor to keep him close to me.”
“No,” I yelled at her. “He loves me, and I love him. He told me so. You’re a cheater. A liar and a cheater. You and my father. Luca loves me, and we’re going to be together when I’m older.”
She laughed at me, eyes glittering. “Luca, love you? You’re a boy…a child. What do you know about keeping a man like him happy? I’m going to marry him when I finally get rid of your father.”
“You’re going to marry Luca?” Hot tears of humiliation poured down my cheeks, and I hated myself for acting the child she accused me of being. “But I love him. He was my first. He said he loved me.”
“Everyone loves a little puppy following them around and rolling over to give them his belly.” With the upper hand secured, she smiled, showing her teeth. “Go to bed. I see I made a mistake. You should’ve gone to boarding school.”
“Why, to be out of your hair so you can fuck anyone you want? Don’t worry. I’m leaving, and you won’t ever have to see me again.”
By that time I was screaming. I stormed away from her slammed door. Once in my room, I pulled out my suitcase and began throwing things inside. I zipped it closed and sank to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest, while the tears refused to stop.
“The next morning at six, I showed up at Presley’s house and asked if I could live with them. I don’t know the details of what happened that day except his mother called mine, and after a long time on the phone with her and later that evening with my father, I was allowed to live with them.”
