“Is a great guy, but you were never into him. Ever. He was crazy about you, but you didn’t see it. Same for everyone else you’ve been with since we met. And I’m not talking about the guys we set you up with, but anyone. Now I know the reason. You were never really looking.”
“I tried with Colin, but…” Who the hell was I kidding? “It’s stupid.I’mstupid. Who stays hung up on someone they haven’t seen in twenty-three years? I shouldn’t only be running those group meetings; I should attend some too. I obviously need help myself.”
“Hey.” She patted my face. “We all have hang-ups. And I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. You weren’t a sexual hermit. But I’ve watched you all these years ignoring signals or not putting your heart into any man you were with. You deserve more.”
“That’s right, Roe,” Amy said, and I jumped, having forgotten for a moment that she was still there. “Like that time we took the hot-yoga class? Two guys, both gorgeous, came on to you, and you brushed them off.”
“One of them was Ezra,” I mumbled. “The blond guy. But I know what you mean. I should make more of an effort.”
“That’s Ezra?” Amy’s voice rose several octaves. “Oh my God, Carmen, you should see him. I understand why you’re hung up on him. Muscles and all this blond hair and—”
“Babe, we get it,” Carmen said with a rueful smile. “Cool your jets, or I’ll start to worry.”
“Never,” came Amy’s immediate response. “You know you’re it for me.”
“And I’m holding you up.” I rose from my seat, but Carmen motioned for me to sit.
“Don’t go.”
“I’m just teasing, Roe.” Amy sounded distressed. “But you need to do some real soul-searching and figure out what you want. And who. For your sake and for Ezra’s as well. Because from where I see it, the man is as hung up on you as you are on him. It goes both ways. So if you think there’s any future, then maybe it’s time you two had that talk. I gotta go, but I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
“Bye, babe.” Carmen reached over and disconnected. “So?” She arched a brow at me. “What are you going to do, Doctor?”
I wished I knew.
Chapter Fifteen
“Be a fake boyfriend? Dude, even for you, that’s nuts.” Feet up, Sunny reclined on the sofa in my office. “If you’re that hung up on the guy, tell him how you feel.”
I grimaced. “He’s so damn prickly and acts like he’s not interested and retreats, but never far enough to make me think I should walk away for good. He leaves the light on for me, making me believe there’s a chance.”
“And where there’s hope, there’s this crazy idea that it could work to bring you two together?”
“I’m not sure of the right way to handle this, but for now it serves two purposes. Helping Nettie, and keeping me close to Roe. Sort of like when I’m wooing a client. I have to take it slow and let them see why I’m the best for them.”
Sunny chewed the end of his ponytail. “True, but Roe isn’t a client, and once you get him, it’s not about signing the contract and walking away to the next big deal.”
“Oh, I’m well aware of that.” This could be the biggest deal of my life, one with lifetime consequences.
Sunny sat up and hugged his knees to his chest. “So what’s the plan?”
“I’m going to make myself indispensable to Nettie and Deborah, so Roe will have to give in. I’m going to bring them groceries, have someone come and clean the house, and bring them flowers.”
A frown tugged at Sunny’s lips. “You know, it may all be fun and games for you, but remember, Ezra, they’re people too. They’re not asking to be caught up in your game of cat and mouse with Roe. Be kind to them.”
Offended, I drew back and leveled a hard stare at him. “I know that. And I do care for them. They were more family to me than my own parents when I was in high school. I’m not doing this simply to get Roe into bed.”
Chastened, Sunny gave me a thumbs-up. “Okay, then. I think it’s a good idea. The main thing to keep in mind is that at the center of this is a little old lady who thinks you and her grandson are together. Make it plausible but not like you’re in love, so when the time comes for you to tell her it was only to make her feel better, she isn’t too angry with you.Unless”—and here his brown eyes twinkled—“it’s not a farce for you, and all along your ultimate goal was to get together with Roe.”
I’d spent half my life in denial, with my parents halfheartedly accepting my sexuality. I knew they hoped I would end up with a woman, and that hurt more than I’d ever let on to anyone. I knew I wanted Roe, and right now, this seemed to be the only path, rocky as it might be, toward accomplishing my objectives.
“I don’t have an ultimate goal or a real plan. Right now I’m going on sheer instinct alone.” My email dinged, and I returned to my desk to read it. “I’ve gotta get to work, and so do you. We have a lunch meeting, and I need to look through the contracts I received from the lawyer.”
“Emerson Scott?” Sunny wrinkled his nose, and I laughed.
“Not a fan?”
