A smile played on Ross’s lips. “Love makes us do the craziest and stupidest things. It starts wars, and can create life and end it, so it’s sure as hell important enough to keep your heart on hold for twenty years.”
“I’m such a fool. I even went to see him.”
“And that didn’t go too well, I gather? You know I’ll never repeat what you tell me, not even to Arden if you don’t want me to. You’re all I have left of the past, Ezra. You have no idea how special you are to me.” The waitress approached, but Ross waved her off. What I loved most about Ross was his total devotion to his friends and family. I’d never had the need to be a beneficiary of it before, but I was damn lucky to have him in my life.
“He’s so angry with me. Why is he so mad when he was the one who gave up on us? I don’t understand. It makes no sense.”
Gentle as the flutter of a wing, Ross threaded his fingers through my hair. In the countless hours we’d spent together, I’d never felt closer to him than in this busy coffee shop on West End Avenue.
“You’ve been hurting a long time. Go to him and talk it out.”
“I’ve tried, but as soon as he sees me, it’s like a switch gets flipped and it all goes to hell and I respond in kind. I don’t know if we can have a civil conversation anymore.”
But damn, we sure could kiss. If we ever got physical, we might explode.
“Can you live without knowing if he’s willing to try again?”
From the time Roe and I had been separated, I’d drifted, comparing every encounter to my time with him. Each man came up lacking. “My whole life has been in limbo. Do you know how many times over the years I wanted to call him, but my pride wouldn’t let me?”
“Pride comes before the fall, they say.”
I squeezed Ross’s hand. “I knew there was more to you than just a pretty face.”
This time he didn’t smile back. A serious Ross was almost too much to handle, more so than silly, irreverent Ross. “You too. You’re as kind and loving as you are gorgeous, and I always knew there was something terribly wrong. I used to tell Dom, Ezra isn’t happy. Find out why. But Dom wouldn’t push, figuring if you wanted to talk to him, you would.”
The talk of Dom still brought me a throb of pain. I missed my best friend every day, and it took me years to get over the guilt of Dom’s death. The smell and sound of ocean waves filled my head. I could feel the sand beneath my feet. If only I’d told him to go home. If only I hadn’t told him to ride one last wave. If, if, if.
“Stop it.” Ross smacked my cheek lightly, and I left that stretch of Malibu beach and blinked back to the present.
“Sorry.” I ducked my head, not wanting to get emotional over Ross’s husband in front of him.
“I know you still miss Dom. And you can say his name. It doesn’t upset me to know you remember him still. It’s why I gave you one of the rings he always wore. He’d want you to have it.”
I rubbed my thumb over it, as I did every day since Ross had given it to me. “I think about him all the time.”
Misty-eyed, Ross smiled at me. “I think about him too.”
Curious, I had to ask. “Does Arden mind?”
His palm caressed my cheek. “No. He talks about Jared, and it doesn’t upset me. They’re part of who we are, and the fact that they’re gone doesn’t mean they never existed. And you and Roe might not have seen each other since you were seventeen, but your relationship shaped you for the future and the man you’ve become. I’m happy you shared your feelings with me, but the one you need to talk to is Roe.”
“What if he refuses to see me?” I felt as innocent as a virgin and in need of guidance. I’d already failed miserably in my previous attempts. The well was empty, and I had no ideas left.
“There’s no one more persuasive at getting the deal done than you, honey.”
That was when hearts weren’t engaged. It was easy when it was business.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to give it one last try.”
Chapter Eight
“Grandma, are you cheating?”
“Me?”
At her outraged look, I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing out loud. “I saw you trying to peek at my cards.”
It was early Sunday evening. I’d spent the past few weekends away from my family. I’d had brunch with Carmen and Amy, who’d invited other couples and sometimes a single man I knew was supposed to be for me, but my head was with Ezra. Even Colin had moved on and was now dating someone he’d met at a lecture. I’d seen them several times, and Colin virtually glowed. I was happy for him.
