I couldn’t lie to myself and pretend it didn’t hurt. But I wasn’t the same person he’d left over a year ago. Bobby’s problem was that he still was.
“Go on home and take care of your wife and child. Go on and live the life you chose, and let me live mine.” I opened the door. “Good-bye.”
Silent and with his head down, Bobby left. I shut the door and leaned against it. Harlan had remained across the room, his watchful eyes on me.
“Are you okay?”
“I think so.” But my legs shook when I walked to the sofa and sat down.
“I’m thinking that might be a no. Hold on a sec.” Harlan went to the refrigerator, took out a bottle of water, and brought it back to me.
“Here. There wasn’t any beer.”
“I was tryin’ to keep it out of the apartment.” I cracked it open, took a sip, and placed it on the side table. “Didn’t want you to have to see it.”
“‘Lead me not into temptation,’ huh?” His eyes crinkled in amusement for a moment; then he sobered. “Thank you. I appreciate you changing your life for me.” He ran his nose down my cheek. “I’m moving on to other, more tempting things.”
The buzzer sounded, and Harlan cursed. “If it’s that fucker coming back…” He stomped over to the intercom, pushed the button, and opened the door. “Oh, right. I forgot.” He looked over his shoulder at me. “It’s our pizza.” He took it and came back in with the big box, set it on the coffee table, and sat down.
The pizza smelled good, and I chuckled. “By the way. That Shakespeare quote? Wasn’t that fromMacbethin the scene where Duncan lay all bloody and dead? Not exactly a love scene.”
Harlan took my hand, and my mouth turned dry. “Shut up and work with me. I was attempting to make a point.” He slid his hand up my arm to cup the back of my neck, and I found myself in his arms.
“Pizza’s gettin’ cold.”
“Are you really that hungry for pizza?” He kissed my neck, and I bit back a moan. Those lips had become remarkably familiar in the short time we’d been together, and the moment they touched my skin, I lost my will to move.
I shook my head. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”
He continued to kiss my neck, my throat and jaw. “I said a lot of things.” His mouth brushed mine, but as always what started out as a simple touch turned into a mind-melting slide of lips and tongues.
“You had a list of what you’d say if you loved me.”
He smiled against my cheek and whispered, “You’re going to make me say it first, aren’t you?”
“Don’t wanna make you say nothin’ if you don’t want to.”
“Oh, I want. More than I ever imagined.” He laid his hand on my chest. “I never believed a Texas cowboy would knock me off my feet, but if I had to have anyone pick me up, I’d want it to be you. You occupy so much space in my heart, there’s no room inside it anymore. It has to belong to you.”
“I didn’t know you were so romantic.”
“Don’t tell anyone. It’ll spoil my image as a cruel and heartless bastard.”
I slid my fingers through his silky hair. “I’ll keep your secrets. That’s what best friends and lovers do, right?”
Harlan sat up and hugged his knees to his chest. “I don’t know. I’ve never had either. But I do know what you mean to me, and I’ll defend you to anyone and try to never let them hurt you. I’ll always be here for you to talk to and hold your hand. You’re the only one I want to kiss and make love to.”
My eyes stung, and my chest hurt. “When Bobby left me, I thought my life was over. Who knew it hadn’t even begun?” I held him close again. “I love you, Harlan. You’re not the angry, sad man who hurt people anymore. I’m proud of how you owned up to who you were and how you’re trying to make it right. You’re strong and sharp and sarcastic and yet so soft and wild and loving, sometimes I can’t figure you out.”
He shook with laughter. “I enjoy being a puzzle.” He took my face between his palms. “I’m hoping you’ll want to keep trying to put my pieces together.”
I kissed him, pushing him back on the sofa so he lay beneath me. Face flushed, lips swollen, and eyes blazing, he was my fantasy finally come to life.
“I’d much rather take you apart.” I kissed his bare stomach where the T-shirt had crept up, exposing the trail of golden hair leading down to the interesting bulge in his shorts.
“Go on, cowboy. Take me for the ride of my life.”
I hooked my fingers in the elastic of his shorts and pulled them down. His cock strained in his white briefs, and I mouthed him over the fabric, knowing the rub of cotton over his sensitive skin would drive him crazy.
