Harlan’s lips twitched. “You wouldn’t have been all that wrong.”
Frankie tipped his head to the side. “What’re you tryin’ to say? We were right?”
“Cort and I had been talking for a while after the book signings, and it only took me a few times to know I’d never met anyone like him before. There aren’t many people who are kind and giving and ask nothing in return. When I left the shelter and had nowhere to go, I’d hoped he’d offer to put me up, and I could use the time to figure out my next move.”
Shit. I watched Austin’s eyes narrow, and my heart sank.
Harlan, you ass. This ain’t gonna help.
“But,” he continued, “a funny thing happened. The longer I stayed with Cort, the more I came to respect him as a man who barely knew me yet stood up to you—his best friends—to defend me. To be honest, I still don’t get it.”
“You were the first person I’d met since I came to New York who needed me.”
Damn.Did I say that out loud? From Harlan’s shocked stare and the grins on Austin’s and Frankie’s faces, I guess I did. “Um, what I meant is—”
“You’re right. I did need you. I…I do. Without you in my corner, I never would’ve had the guts to think about rehab and getting clean. When I sat on that bridge, I was so low, I didn’t believe there was any way I could climb back up. Then you showed up and talked to me. Your words gave me hope. You gave me back my life.”
“I couldn’t let you think you had nothing to live for.”
“Or no one?”
And just like that, we were back together in that stockroom, where our eyes spoke what our hearts were too afraid to say.
“Yeah.”
A flutter of nerves hit me, and my heart pounded so hard, it hurt to breathe.
Austin slipped his arm around my waist. “If you asked me before I came here today, if I thought Harlan really cared about you, I’d have laughed in your face.”
I stiffened, ready to jump on Austin’s words, but Harlan beat me to it.
“And if you had said all this to me last year, I would’ve laughed in your face and probably told you to fuck off. I didn’t care what anyone’s opinion of me was, good or bad. I drank and got high because I didn’t give a damn about anything—I made it day by day, and before rehab it had crawled to hour by hour.”
“You were in a bad place. I knew it, but these guys didn’t. They couldn’t since they’d never met you.”
“Cort’s right,” Austin said. “I didn’t know you personally, only what I saw: a professional con who planned on taking him for a ride, milking him for free rent and money until you moved on. But Cort insisted we had to trust his instincts and eventually you’d prove him right.”
“I am a professional con. I’m a lawyer.” Harlan’s eyes twinkled.
Austin shook with laughter. “Believe me, you have no idea how I understand that analogy.” He sobered. “Standing here with you now? I see it. You’re not even the same man who worked at Man Up. All I want to say is, looks like Cort was right. I hope you give us the chance to get to know you.”
“That person who worked at Man Up—the man who finished off other people’s drinks and beers to get drunk, who wanted to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge—he doesn’t exist anymore. Thanks to Cort, he’s been replaced with a slightly used but hopefully better model.”
Watching Harlan with my best friends was the single happiest moment since I’d come to New York. The man had an unbreakable spirit.
Chapter Sixteen
HARLAN
Ifound itironic that I’d spent my entire life running away from who I was, only to end up being saved by the very people I tried most to hurt. And no matter what Cort said, doing it alone was impossible. It wasn’t until I met him that I found the courage to turn myself around.
All because of Cort.
Sweet, loving Cort, who’d been betrayed, hurt, and kicked to the curb, still looked past the barbed wire I’d wrapped around myself and refused to let me self-destruct despite my best efforts. I owed him the thump of the heart I heard in my chest. I owed him the breath I took every day. I owed him the morning sun in my eyes.
I owed him my life.
And how do you repay someone when they save your life?
