When he completely softened, I let him go, and he leaned back to rest on the counter, eyes closed, mouth still open. I shimmied my sweats down a bit and pulled out my cock, which twitched and throbbed in my sticky hand. It didn’t take me long—only four or five good, hard strokes, and I was well into my own sweet oblivion. My come spilled over my fingers, and at my finish, I groaned a gusty sigh and sat back on my heels.
When I’d recovered, I pulled a dish towel off the rack and wiped my hands clean, then stood and pulled my sweats up. I held my breath, as unsure of his reaction as I’d ever been about anything. Would he punch my face in for a hand job? Or would he acknowledge it and talk to me?
Harlan opened his eyes, and without speaking, pulled up his boxers and pants. He took the glass he’d been drinking from, and after running some water from the tap and drinking it, finally spoke.
“I’d better shower before getting to the club. I have to be there before you to set up.”
And he walked away, leaving me standing in the kitchen. As if we’d never kissed. In the bookstore, he’d acted strange enough for me to suspect he was high on something, but we’d been together the entire day. When he ran out, I picked the newspaper he’d dropped off the floor, read the wedding announcement, and looked at the photographs. Harlan was the spitting image of a man in one of the pictures, and I reckoned it must be his father. Roderick and Leticia DeWitt. They looked like they had money and nothing else. What had Harlan done to make them shun him? A chill ran through me at the thought of my own family, and I realized it didn’t have to be much of anything at all.
The shower stopped, and a moment later Harlan walked out with a towel slung around his waist. Without a word, he dropped it and began to dress, taking his new clothing from the plastic shopping bag. He’d picked all-black clothes, as James insisted the waitstaff and bartenders wear. Still silent, he picked up his towel, folded it and set it on the sofa, then slipped his wallet into his pocket and walked out, shutting the door gently behind him.
Was he angry? Upset? I’d never been more confused in my life. I needed to talk to someone, so I picked up the phone.
“Austin?”
“Cort? Everything okay? You sound strange.”
“Uh, not sure. You got a minute?”
“Yeah. Rhoades and I were going to come to the club tonight to see you anyway.”
Relief poured through me. “That’s good, but can I talk to you now, or are you too busy?”
“You sound like you need a friend. What’s wrong?”
For the next five minutes, I spoke without interruption, finishing up with what had happened in the kitchen.
“A total stranger? Cort, what the hell is wrong with you?”
Put like that, it made it all sound so seedy when in fact, it had been anything but.
“He ain’t a stranger. Haven’t you been listenin’? He’s spent the past few days with me, and he’s not what you think. He ain’t after me for money. He hasn’t asked me for anything. Everything was my suggestion. And James hired him, and we know he’s a good judge of character.”
“But that’s it. You think it’s your suggestions when in fact, he’s leading you down that path. He sounds like a manipulator. You don’t even know his full name, where he came from. Or even why he’s homeless. That’s dangerous.”
“I did find out some things.” No need for Austin to know it was after Harlan and I had our kitchen encounter. “Besides, I don’t need a person’s pedigree to be a friend. I didn’t know nothin’ about you before you became my best friend. Tell you what.” I ran a hand through my hair. “You see him tonight and tell me what you think. There’s something lost about him, and I don’t think even he knows what it is.”
“One day that big heart of yours is going to get you into trouble.”
Oh, it already had. Big, big trouble, I was afraid.
“See you tonight.”
I tidied up around the apartment, then went down the block and treated myself to a pedicure. When I got home, I turned on the evening news for background noise. Having Harlan around, even for such a short time, made me miss having another person to talk to. It took me less than ten minutes to make and cram a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before getting myself ready for my performance. I took a pair of assless chaps, a black vest, and one of several lassoes I had stacked in my room and shoved them into my bag to bring to the club.
I washed my hair and blew it dry so it fell in waves around my face, then checked myself out in the full-length mirror. I’d have to go to the tanning salon soon, and I could use a little waxing, but I could afford to hold off another few days. All this maintenance was a bit much for me. I remembered the days of playing football and rolling in the dirt, where no one cared if you’d showered or had a tan line.
Thinking of football took me back to that time when me ’n Bobby would sneak off after practice.“Gonna do our homework, then throw some balls around, maybe do some sprints,”we’d tell the others to keep them from joining us. We were the only two guys on the team in honors classes, so it made sense for us to study together. Little did they know we shared a secret. One that involved getting naked and sucking each other’s dicks as soon as we got to my house.
“Don’t look back,” I said to my reflection in the mirror. “You don’t need any of them. You’re doin’ just fine on your own.” In my room, I picked out a couple of silver rings that had belonged to my granddaddy and slid them on my fingers with satisfaction. Granddaddy would be rolling in his grave if he knew his only grandson was gay and worked in a strip club. It was why I wore his rings. Almost like a fuck-you to everything I’d left behind.
I’d given Austin and the other guys the impression that I came out to my parents and everything was hunky-dory. That I’d only come to New York to get a taste of the big city.
What a liar I was.
With my cowboy hat anchored on my head, I hurried out the door.
“Thank you. Pleaseremember to tip your server.” I swept the cowboy hat off my head and flashed my ass. “And your dancers too.”
