“Yeah, thanks.”
He followed me out the door, and we walked shoulder to shoulder across the street to the car. When we were buckled into our seat belts, Aaron didn’t start the car but sat staring out the window.
“What’s wrong?” I hadn’t seen him this worked up since we’d gotten back together. “Are you upset?”
With his lips pressed so tightly together they turned white, Aaron shook his head, then nodded. To my shock, he started to cry. Tears streamed down his cheeks, and his shoulders shook. “Talking about it,them…remembering being a teenager. How bad I hurt. It all came back to me.”
In one swift motion, I unbuckled the seat belt and turned him around, hugging him tight. “Talk to me. Tell me.”
“It’s stupid.”
“If it’s you, it can’t be stupid.”
“I knew I was gay from when I was a kid. I never watched the girls. I always liked looking at the guys. But at home…” He shook his head. “Let’s say no one was going to accept that. So I’d go with girls to prove I wasn’t gay. Queer. A homo.”
“You shouldn’t have had to.”
As if he wasn’t listening to me, Aaron kept talking. “I even fucked some of them, pretending it was the hot lifeguard at the beach I was doing, not Maria down the block or Amber from the pizza place. I was such a shit.”
“It was a long time ago.” I soothed him, letting him hug me tight. “You’re safe now. It’s okay to be who you are.”
“But I’m not. When I’m with you, yeah. You make me feel safe. And then I fucked that up too. Everything I do, I fuck up.”
“No, you just gotta figure yourself out. Some people take longer than others. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m so lucky I got you.”
I kissed his cheek. “You do. And I hope you know you can tell me anything. I’m glad you feel safe with me.”
“That’s why I need you so badly.” He took my face between his hands. “You’re the one who gets me. If I lost you, I’m not sure I’d know what to do.”
He kissed me, desperate, greedy and hard, and I clung to him, pleasure washing over me. His lips left a wet trail of fire down my throat, and he pushed me down on the seat, his eyes wild and hot.
“Need you so bad.” He popped open the tab of my jeans.Hell no.It was daylight still, and anyone could walk by. I was way past the age of making out in cars.
“Aaron. Come on.” I kissed his cheek. “Let’s go home.”
He sat back, then rubbed his eyes. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
We settled back in our seats.
“I got carried away. Every time I’m near you, that’s what happens.”
I buttoned my jeans. “Sex was never our problem. Talk, communication, and trust is what we need.”
We’d always connected better with our bodies than our words. One touch from Aaron was all it took to make me his. Our first kiss at the beach put the heat of the sun to shame. But telling each other what was in our hearts? That was the problem.
“Yeah.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “And sometimes it gets us into trouble.” He met my eyes, and I knew we were both thinking of that last night together before everything exploded and he went to jail. He started up the car, and within ten minutes, we were pulling into a parking spot across the street from my apartment building.
If Aaron could attempt to face his fears, so could I. We lived on the second floor and could easily take the stairs, yet since the night of our fight, I hadn’t. Each time I tried, it all came back to me—the yelling, the hurt, the tumbling down…down…
“Wanna go this way?” I pointed toward the steps, my heart hammering.
Concern pinched his brows together. “Can you? You sure?”
“I won’t know if I don’t try.” I put on a brave face I didn’t feel, my sweaty hand gripping the banister as I mounted the first step. My legs trembled, and the sour taste of bile rose in my mouth.I can do it.I pushed on.
“Frankie, you don’t gotta prove nothin’ to me.” Aaron stood right behind me.
