“You did?” I couldn’t help but interject. “You didn’t tell me any of this. What did you say? Did you have a fight?”
“Not really. But I asked him if he wanted to sleep with every girl he sees, and I told him not everyone wants to sleep with him. He shouldn’t think that’s what it’s all about.”
“I get the feeling you’re giving us the G-rated version.” Dr. Morrell’s eyes twinkled at us from behind her black-framed glasses.
“Well, yeah, maybe.” Aaron gave her a sheepish grin. “But you can see why I didn’t wanna tell them yet. It was easier to tell him I’d been in jail. That he could relate to.”
“Macho assholes,” I muttered.
“So you think Aaron should’ve said something to them anyway, Frankie?”
“I don’t like hiding who I am.”
“But you don’t got to. You work in a gay strip club. And you design clothes. You told me almost all the guys you meet are gay. I don’t got that choice.” Aaron’s voice rose, and his faced flushed dark with anger. “All I’ve ever worked is construction or automotive.”
“So you think there aren’t any gay men in those fields?” Dr. Morrell asked.
“If there are, no one talks about it. All Lennie talks about is getting with as many chicks as he can. That and baseball.”
“So, Frankie. Do you see that this is troubling Aaron? Maybe he needs to sort it out and wait for the right moment to tell his coworkers.”
“What if there’s never a right time?”
“Shouldn’t that be his choice to make, though? Or are you saying you want Aaron to tell them right now that he’s gay?”
“And in a relationship. I mean, he’s already gone out with them, and the boss’s daughter is trying to fix him up with her girlfriends. I don’t like lying and don’t want to be someone’s side piece.”
“You ain’t a side piece. You know that. But I need to feel more secure.”
“Secure about the job or being gay?”
At my dig, Aaron flinched. I didn’t mean to be cruel, honest. But a part of me always wondered about Aaron. Yeah, he was affectionate when we were alone and together with my family. Not really in public.
“Do you feel comfortable answering that, Aaron?”
“Maybe Frankie’s a little bit right. I mean, I’ve always known I was gay, but also that I’d have to keep it on the down-low.”
“Why?” I’d tried to understand it, but it was hard. “I didn’t tell my parents I was gay until I was sixteen, but they said they already knew.”
A smile teased Aaron’s lips. “Babe. I think you came out of the womb fabulous. Everyone knows. Trust me.”
This was the most I’d gotten out of Aaron in all our years together. I wanted to dig deep, peel back those layers he hid beneath, and discover why.
“Did your parents not approve?”
The laughter in his chocolaty brown eyes died, and his lips thinned. “My parents had very little influence in my life.”
“Why is that?”
I’d almost forgotten Dr. Morrell was in the room. The force field Aaron placed around himself crackled with intensity as I held his stare. I could see him shutting down. Hard.
“No reason really. Just the way it was.”
Disappointed, I sat back, my frustration growing. I thought maybe I’d break through to Aaron, but once again he thwarted any effort to open up and talk.
“I’m sorry, you two, but our time is up. I think for our next session, we should continue digging into this issue of feeling safe. With each other and with people we don’t know.”
“Thanks, Dr. Morrell.” I jammed my hands into my jacket pockets. “See you next time.”
