“C’mon in.” The beginning of a dull headache throbbed behind his eyes. He cradled his head in his hands.
“You okay? You look like crap.”
Despite the pain in his head, he smiled. “Thanks. Did you come in here to tell me how bad I look, or was there a purpose?”
“Here.” He held up a cup. “I have coffee. Benny texted me on my way in and told me to get you a double shot.”
“Thanks.” The earthy smell of the rich brew hit his nose. He needed something hot to take away the chilly emptiness inside him. He took a sip and sighed in satisfaction. “That’s so good.”
“Uh, yeah. But are you okay? You look kinda sick.”
Heartsick. That was what he was. The previous evening he’d thought everything was perfect. Now he saw it was all a lie.
“Um, yeah. Well…”Fuck it.“Blake and I broke up. I mean…” Embarrassed, he rubbed his curiously burning eyes. “He, uh, he broke up with me.”
Gino’s eyes popped open wide. When shocked, he looked like one of those cartoon characters. “Get the fuck outta here. When?”
“Last night…this morning. He said things weren’t working. I thought everything was perfect, but looks like I was fooling myself.”
“Damn.” Gino took a seat next to him instead of remaining across the desk, and Jeremy glanced at him in surprise. He hoped Gino wasn’t about to do something stupid like make a pass at him. He really liked the kid but wasn’t in the frame of mind to deal with his nonsense at the moment.
“I’m really sorry, Jer. I thought the two of you were great together, even though Blake seemed the opposite of you. I could see how much you really cared about him.”
Unaccustomed tears sprang to his eyes, and he turned away so as not to embarrass himself. “Thanks,” he said, his voice husky and tight. “I guess I was wrong about how serious we were.”
“I don’t think so.”
Surprised at Gino’s serious tone and his insight, Jeremy swung the chair around to face him again. “Why? What do you mean?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way.” Gino fidgeted with the zipper of his hoodie, and Jeremy wanted to rip it out of his hand but refrained and laced his fingers together. “He couldn’t take his eyes off you whenever you were together. Even when you were busy with work shit, he watched you. I’d like a boyfriend who wanted me that much.”
You could have one. He’s sitting right next to you, if you’d open your eyes.
“But,” Gino continued, finally letting go of the zipper and slumping down in the chair, “I kinda got the feeling he was always holding something back from you. He never looked comfortable. It’s hard to explain.”
This insight into Blake from a relative stranger fascinated Jeremy. “No, you’re making sense.” He felt a bit disloyal to Blake even though he’d been punched in the gut, but Jeremy couldn’t bad-mouth him. He managed to force his frozen lips into a smile. “Thanks for the coffee and the talk. I’ll be out later.”
Gino stared hard at him for a second, then gave him a brisk nod and stood. “Gotcha.” He crossed the room and put his hand on the knob, then paused. “You deserve a great guy. One who isn’t afraid to show he cares.” He closed the door behind him.
Blake did care. Jeremy knew he wasn’t faking their time together. That’s what made his behavior this morning so puzzling. Jeremy ran over the events of the night before and the morning. He’d been a damn good boyfriend to Blake, yet he’d still been rejected. It was being a kid all over again, trying to win his mother’s attention yet getting brushed off because she was too busy with Noah. Maybe he wasn’t meant for relationships, because if he could do his best and fail, what was the point?
Frustrated and miserable, he gulped down his coffee and forced his mind off Blake and back to his business. Carter had sent over the juice-bar proposal from his clients, and for the rest of the morning, Jeremy buried himself in the paperwork of the deal. By the end of the day, he’d signed the contract for the distribution, which included not only the juice itself, but the installation of the refrigeration equipment for the bottles and the grab-and-go fresh snacks. He’d stopped only when Benny brought him a salad he hadn’t asked for but gratefully accepted.
“Thanks. Guess I lost track of time.”
“I do that too. When I don’t want to think about stuff that’s bothering me, I immerse myself in whatever I can find and try to forget. Enjoy your lunch. We got you the one you always order with the salmon.” Benny bowed out and shut the door before Jeremy could even respond to his insightful comment, and he wondered what bothered a kid like Benny so much.
Chewing without tasting the food, Jeremy couldn’t help but shoot glances over at his phone. It had remained maddeningly silent all day except for stupid email notifications.
“Fuck it.” He grabbed the phone and checked his texts. The one to Blake had changed fromunreadtoread, yet he hadn’t answered. Why? What had he done for Blake to cut all communication between them? Nothing as far as he could tell. And if he did do something to hurt Blake, shouldn’t they talk to each other instead of Blake cutting him dead? From everything he’d heard about relationships, that was what people did.
Frustration turned to anger, and Jeremy decided to lay it on the line.
Talk to me. Nothing’s so bad that we can’t talk about it.
And yet still nothing.
He threw the phone across the desk, uncaring that it fell to the floor, and his bruised heart hardened, turning cold. If Blake wanted to cut him dead, so be it. He wouldn’t make a fool of himself and go crying after a man who no longer wanted him.
