Gideon’s droll tone warmed the ice in his veins. “So could I maybe come over? Hang out for a while?”
“You don’t have to ask. But be prepared for some questions when you do get here. I’ll see you in a few.” Before he could answer, Gideon hung up, and for the first time since he decided to kick Adam out of his life, Rico smiled.
The Lyft from his place in Red Hook to Gideon and Jonah’s apartment in Cobble Hill took less than ten minutes, and he didn’t even have to knock. Gideon waited for him in his apartment’s doorway as he walked down the hall.
“Come on in. I have a beer with your name on it and some of the dinner we didn’t finish.”
They hugged briefly, and Rico entered the apartment. Gideon had moved in with Jonah last winter, and they’d consistently invited Rico over, but he’d never come by.
He peered around the apartment, looking for Jonah. “Where’s your man?”
Waiting until he took the beers out of the refrigerator to answer, Gideon slammed the door shut with his foot. “He went to his father’s for a while. He’s all nervous about this panel he’s moderating; it’s his first appearance nationally since he took over for Ari, and Jonah wants it to be perfect.” He handed a bottle to Rico, who’d come to join him and sat down on one of the barstools by the counter.
“Oh, well, I hope I get a chance to see him. You hit the jackpot, you know? Jonah, man. He’s the real deal.”
Gideon’s eyes glowed in a way Rico had never seen in their years in Florida. “Yeah. I never thought I’d find it. Someone who gets me and doesn’t want to change me.”
They drank their beers in silence until Gideon put his down on the counter and frowned. “What’s the real reason you came over, Rico? I’m not trying to be funny here or kick you out. But I know you. Something had to trigger this.”
Rico tipped the bottle back until nothing was left, then, unable to face Gideon’s scrutiny, hopped off the stool and walked into the living room. “I-I did what you said. I talked to my father.”
“What?” Gideon stared openmouthed at Rico. “You told him you’re gay?”
“No, don’t be crazy. We talked is all. About stuff. And he let me know he doesn’t approve of gays marrying. He used the phrase ‘those people.’ Like why do those people need the same rights.”
“Ah.” Gideon winced. “Well, listen, you can still—”
“No. Sorry to cut you off, but I can’t. My dad’s moving up and going to be nominated for the head of the state party leadership. He told me to be careful and not get caught doing anything stupid with any women.” Rico clasped his shaking fingers together. “Imagine if he knew it wouldn’t be with a woman, but a man. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t have a relationship where someone might see me with Adam and then use it to hurt my dad. It’s not fair to him.”
“Son of a bitch. I knew you were seeing him.”
Rico shrugged. “Yeah.”
“But what about Adam?” Gideon’s clear gaze held his unflinchingly. “Where does that leave him? And you?”
“It leaves him free to be with someone who isn’t a coward. He’s the bravest guy I’ve ever met; he shouldn’t be saddled with someone like me. A faker afraid to live his own life.”
Rico jumped as Gideon slapped the countertop with his palm. “Then don’t be. To hell with what your father believes and wants.”
“It’s not that easy.” Agitated, Rico walked away from Gideon’s condemning eyes. “I know you didn’t give a damn about your father your whole life, and with good reason. But my dad isn’t a bad guy. I love him. He just has expectations for me. My whole life has been about doing the right thing, working the hardest. Being the best. I owe my success to him. He’s given me everything.”
“Everything except his time.”
Rico flinched. “I never minded.”
“I think that’s bullshit, man. Those’re your father’s wishes. What about yours? What do you want?”
He slumped down on the sofa, staring unseeing into the living room. “That’s just it. I don’t know. I have no idea what I want anymore. I’ve got the success, you know? The store is doing amazingly. I couldn’t ask for more.”
“We did it, didn’t we?” Gideon joined him on the sofa and slid an arm around his shoulder to give him a quick hug. “All those plans we thought were dreams, we made them happen. Together.”
“Yeah.” At this Rico could smile and feel joy. Because it was something he and Gideon did on their own, saving and scrimping for that day when they’d be able to live their dream. And while Gideon’s dream now included Jonah, Rico was at a loss how to take that next step alone.
“So what exactly happened with Adam?”
Much as Rico loved Gideon, he wasn’t sure he could talk about this. “I dunno. It was weird.”
“The tables are turned, huh?” Gideon shifted to face him, a grin on his lips. “You loved giving me advice when I was pushing Jonah away, but now here you are, and it’s not so easy, right?”
