The nightmares had dwindled over the years to about one every month and sometimes even longer in between episodes. Adam thought he’d had them beaten. Obviously he’d been wrong.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’ve got stuff on my mind. Thinking of taking a promotional exam…that kind of stuff.” He attempted a smile, but Rico’s skeptical expression proved Adam’s mother correct again. He’d always been a terrible liar.
Adam watched as Rico first glanced around, then slid closer and cupped a hand around the nape of his neck, pulling him near to brush their lips together.
“Maybe this’ll take your mind off whatever’s been bothering you.” Rico’s mouth moved across his, lips hard and demanding, and Adam forgot everything except Rico’s taste, the warm silkiness of his tongue, and Rico’s soft sounds when Adam returned the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Rico’s shoulders and fed off his mouth, falling into his strong and steady touch. For someone who hadn’t needed anyone for years, holding Rico had become a necessity.
Their foreheads touched after breaking the kiss, and Rico’s unsteady breath matched his own. Perhaps he wasn’t as unaffected as Adam had believed.
“That was nice. And it did make me feel better.” Adam straightened up, noticing the flush across Rico’s high cheekbones and his slightly unfocused expression.
“Hmm? Yeah? When do you get off tonight? Gideon and I are finishing up two catering jobs, but I should be done around nine o’clock. You want to come over?”
Regretfully, Adam shook his head. “I’m doing a twenty-four-hour tour. I don’t get off until tomorrow at noon. Then I won’t be good for anything but sleep.”
“Damn.” To Adam’s surprise, Rico placed a hand on his thigh and ran it up his leg. “I was hoping we’d get a chance to catch up. It’s been days.”
“Yeah, I know. I can’t do anything about it, though. The good thing is that I’ll be off for two days afterward so”—Adam cocked a brow—“if you have no other plans…”
Rico grinned. “You can come by whenever you want.” He gave him a soft kiss. “Open invitation. I better get back before Gideon gets too antsy and starts looking for me. I’ll see you.” He left, and Adam glanced at his watch, seeing he still had about twenty minutes left of his break.
Warmed by Rico’s kiss and the sunshine, Adam’s gaze wandered, and he watched a teenaged boy walk down the block. Dressed in all black with brightly dyed blond hair, the boy kept glancing over his shoulder, and as he got closer, Adam could see the fear in his eyes. It rolled off his body in waves. Something was wrong, and Adam’s antennae went up. It didn’t take long for Adam to spot a guy he recognized from the neighborhood—out of work yet somehow always drinking at one of the neighborhood bars—following the boy, taunting him.
“Don’t go swishing that ass in front of me, you fuckin’ homo. I ain’t interested.”
His good mood vanished, and Adam hurried over to the entrance of the park, where he stood in waiting, hoping the guy would see his uniform and shield and walk away.
The young man gave him a side-eyed look but kept walking fast with his head down. Infuriated, Adam glared at the drunken man, who continued to yell slurs.
“I’m sick and tired of you goddamn people thinking you have the right—”
“Leave him alone.” Adam blocked the drunk’s path, his stance wide, arms folded.
“Who the fuck are you?” The man’s breath stank. Adam grimaced and took a half step back to prevent himself from gagging.
“I’m with the FDNY, and you need to go home, sleep it off, and stop bothering people on the street.”
“He deserved it. Fuckin’ faggot crybaby. I don’t wanna listen to all that whinin’ on the phone how his boyfriend left him and he wants to kill himself. Let ’im.”
Before he could stop himself, Adam grabbed the man by the shirt and pushed him up against the wrought-iron fence. “You shut the fuck up, you hear? And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get the fuck outta here, go home, and stay there because if you don’t, you might be the one who ends up cryin’ for your mama.”
The man’s watery blue eyes widened. “You’re fuckin’ nuts.” But he broke away and ran down the block in the opposite direction of the teenager who, Adam could see from the corner of his eye, had stopped and watched.
Memories assailed him and it wasn’t the teenaged boy but who stood before him, beautiful in the waning twilight. They’d met in their special place—Adam’s father’s barn. Adam recalled holding Wayne as he cried, relaying the beating he’d gotten from his father for saying he didn’t want to work the farm but instead wanted to study theater.
“He called me a pussy-boy and hit me across the face. It hurts so bad.” His big brown eyes with those long thick lashes gazed up at Adam, shiny with tears, and Adam couldn’t resist—he bent down and kissed Wayne’s swollen mouth.
Their first kiss. Wayne trembled, and Adam remained gentle, not pushing, letting Wayne set the pace. Finally Wayne moaned and melted against him, and Adam continued to kiss his face as they undressed and touched each other. It was the first time for both of them, and it was beautiful.
Adam’s heart pounded from the memory but at the confused and frightened-looking young man’s face, Adam gave the boy a comforting smile.
“Are you okay? Do you need to talk to anyone?”
“No, I’m fine.”
Adam said nothing, and the boy flushed and shifted uneasily. “You wouldn’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like.”
“Why, because I’m a fireman? There are plenty of gay firemen in the FDNY.” The boy’s eyes widened. “It’s okay. I’m gay. And if you need someone to talk to, you can call or text me. Here. Take my card, and I’ll write my cell phone number on it. What’s your name?”
