“I haven’t seen the kite flyers in years. I’ve forgotten how watching them is like watching an artist perform a ballet in the sky.”
With an unexpected turn of the wheel, Sam pulled the car off to the side and into the small parking area reserved along the side of the road for people to park. A delighted thrill rose within Zach when Sam turned off the engine and turned to him with a wide smile.
“Wanna try it?”
“Are you serious?” His excitement grew and like a kid he couldn’t stop throwing out questions to Sam. “I’ve never done it before; you have a kite? You know how to fly one? I always wanted to try.”
Without answering, Sam got out of the car and opened the trunk. It took a minute or two of rummaging while Zach alternated between wanting to shout for him to hurry up and hoping it would take forever so he could enjoy the anticipation. Even Sam’s muffled cursing as he shoved aside the items in the trunk couldn’t detract from Zach’s happiness on this gorgeous summer day.
“Aha!” Sam’s head poked around from the side of the opened hood. “Finally got it. I wanted to make sure I didn’t rip the tail.” Zach remained silent and motionless, wanting to capture everything he could about this moment. The tang of salty air, the slap of the water against the rocks, the cries of the children pointing to the kites mixing with the raucous call of the gulls overhead—all of it imbedded itself in his mind, smoothing over the scars he once thought a permanent fixture on his heart.
Now, all that resided there was Sam.
“Are you okay?” The slam of the car’s hood knocked him out of his daydream, and he came to, with Sam holding on to his shoulder, a concerned look on his face. “You had such a strange look on your face, like you’d seen a ghost or something.”
Impulsively, Zach reached up to kiss Sam. “No ghosts; not anymore at least.” He kissed him again, resting against Sam’s broad chest. “Only dreams from now on.”
Giving him a funny smile, Sam hugged him briefly, then displayed the kite. It was bright red, edged in yellow. The long, trailing tail was red, black, blue, and yellow. His excitement growing, Zach watched as Sam expertly unwound the string from the ball and stood with his back to the road, waiting.
The wind had been picking up gradually, and Zach’s hair blew across his forehead, becoming trapped between his face and glasses. Irritated, he brushed it away, and Sam slipped his arms around him from behind and spoke into his ear. “Take hold of the string with me. Let’s fly together.”
With Sam’s strong arms around his shoulders, Zach took the string and the kite tugged hard as it took flight. His heart pounded when Sam’s hand covered his, and the two of them moved in concert, sending the kite dipping and soaring in the sky. With some subtle hand moves, Sam made the kite swoop and cut through the air, like it was dancing amidst the clouds.
Zach couldn’t help but laugh; the joy of being alive poured through him, setting his heart jumping to a rhythm it had never played before. He had no capacity to put into words the swell of emotion blooming sharp and bright in his chest.
“We’re losing the wind; I’m gonna bring her in, okay?” Sam took control of the string, and Zach, still unable to speak, nodded and stepped back, content to keep his secret to himself. Sam pulled the kite down and wound the string back around the holder. They walked back to the car.
“That was fun, huh?” said Sam, placing the kite in the backseat of the car. “I hadn’t done it in a while, but I was hoping we’d get a good enough wind so I could break it out and show you some moves.”
“You were great. Very impressive. I always wanted to try it, but never thought to ask my parents when I was a kid. I didn’t think to do it as an adult, but maybe I’ll try now.”
“I could teach you,” said Sam, leaning in for a kiss. “We could fly together.”
Zach blinked and could only nod.
They pulled back onto the Parkway and with the traffic it took about twenty minutes before they exited and found a spot near the beach. Sam balanced the small cooler on his hip, Zach took the bag with the towels and blanket, and they trekked across Surf Avenue to the original Coney Island Nathan’s.
Zach sniffed the air, the unmistakable smell of hot dogs, greasy burgers, salt water, and suntan lotion combining to form the quintessential New York City summer beach aroma. Nothing in the world was like it.
“Come on,” he urged Sam, hurrying to an empty table he spotted outside. “Let’s grab that table.”
Sam grunted, hefting the cooler, and followed him, setting the cooler down on the cement in the shade under his chair. “I’ll get us the food. Be right back.”
Already seated, Zach merely nodded and leaned his head back to catch the rays of the sun. Sometime today, Zach didn’t know when, the rules of his life had changed. His willingness to live a secondhand life, content to sit on the sidelines, had vanished, leaving in its place a man who, though imperfect, recognized his own self-worth.
It might have been an epiphany, late in coming but still viable and no less deserving. For years he’d been lectured and yelled at by his friends to live a whole life, not one hidden away. They’d done so without the knowledge of why and what had brought him to that point.
Now, it was time. Watching Sam approach, balancing a tray laden with hot dogs, fries, and fried clams, beers sloshing over the rims of huge plastic cups, Zach sensed it was his moment, placed before him to be seized tight and never let go. It was time for him to give up his shame and embrace this new, exciting future.
Forever was too long a time to live with regrets about a past that couldn’t be changed. And who’s to say that past didn’t shape him into becoming a better man in the end.
“I don’t give a damn if it’s bad for me, nothing is better than this stuff.” Sam popped a piece of fried clam in his mouth, chewed and swallowed, then moaned in ecstasy. “Fuck, that’s so damn good and greasy. Ha.” He gulped down the beer.
The fries were hot and crispy, and the hot dog had that delicious snap to it with the mustard and sauerkraut piled on. He and Sam munched through their food as if any moment someone would appear to snatch their fun away. At the end, all that was left was little red plastic forks, paper holders for the fries and clams, and some ketchup-and-mustard-smeared paper plates.
“Damn that was almost as good as sex.” Sam leaned back and stretched out. Zach eyed his thick thighs and hairy legs and wanted to climb him like a ladder.
“Oh, yeah?” Zach asked lazily. “I prefer sex. Unless we’re talking about eating in bed.” He raised a brow at the dark expression on Sam’s face Zach now recognized as rising lust and quirked a smile. “I’m all for eating in bed.”
