The disappointment over Tash’s disappearance was crushing. Brandon wanted him there as a friend and ally. “I should go.” He stood but realized, somewhat disconcertingly, he had nowhere to be; he was supposed to be here with Tash at the center, helping. Tash had left him, and his brothers had lovers and lives of their own.
“The reason I asked,” Esther continued as if Brandon hadn’t said a word “is that Mrs. Delany has been asked by her children to come spend the winter months in Florida. And though she says no, I am sure she wants to go.” She fixed Drew with a piercing stare. “Shehas baby grandchildren.”
Drew rolled his eyes while Ash hid a smile. “Nana, I’ve already told you to go bug Rachel and Mike for some great-grandchildren.”
Ignoring that remark, she spoke directly to Brandon. “These people have determined I shouldn’t live on my own any longer, even if I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Don’t you think that’s silly?”
“Come now, Esther. You aren’t getting into that again, are you? You know what the doctor said.” Ash gently scolded her, but Brandon noticed the love in his eyes. The lady was obviously a special person to them all.
“Oh, what do they know?” Esther patted the seat next to her, appealing to Brandon. “Come sit next to me. I have a proposition for you.”
Brandon glanced first at Luke, who grinned back at him, then at Ash, who gave him a wink.
“Go on, little brother. One thing you’ll learn is it’s useless to say no to Esther.”
Bemused, Brandon sat in the chair next to the elderly lady. “You have a proposition? For me?” He couldn’t imagine what she wanted.
“Yes. Now since my companion wishes to go to Florida, and I wouldn’t dream of keeping her from her family, I propose you come live with me.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but she swiftly and neatly cut him off. “Yes, yes, I know, you have your own life and don’t want to have to answer to me, but you’d be doing me the favor. I’d never stick my nose into your private affairs.”
She stopped to glare at the others in the room, but no one said a word, although Jordan’s face was alive with suppressed laughter. “But think of it this way.” Here she put her small hand on his arm and fastened her bright blue eyes on his face. “You only just found your brothers. This way you could see them so much more often. They come every Sunday for dinner. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to begin to share your lives again?”
Before he could answer, Luke chimed in. “I think it’s a great idea. Esther’s house is big enough for the both of you, and she’s right. It’s a chance for us to reconnect and get to know one another again.” His voice dropped. “Ash and I never stopped thinking about you, wondering if you were safe or even alive.”
Jordan rubbed Luke’s back and leaned against him, Brandon surmised, giving support and love. In all their years together before they were torn apart, Brandon hadn’t ever remembered Luke’s eyes so bright with happiness.
“I thought about you too, hoping you were still alive.” Brandon’s voice stuck in his throat. “I thought, maybe…” Tears threatened for a moment, then receded. “I’d given up on ever finding either of you. Now to have you both here?” Everything that had happened this afternoon hit him at that moment. “I’m overwhelmed.”
At both Ash and Luke’s nods, he made his decision. His lease was month to month, so it wouldn’t be any trouble leaving. “I’d love to come live with you, Esther, but I intend to pay my way. And I can cook too.”
The tension broke in the room, and they all laughed. Esther looked at him, then over to Ash, then Luke.
“Well?” She folded her arms.
“Well, what, Esther?” Ash cocked his head. “What’s the matter?”
“As long as I live and as old as I am, I will never understand men.” She shook her head and took Ash and Luke by the hand, leading them over to Brandon. “Give each other a hug. After all you’ve gone through to get to this point, you need to do it to make this day perfect.”
They stood for a moment, looking at one another, then grabbed each other tight, holding on, rocking back and forth. The feel of his brothers’ arms around him and the warmth of their bodies wasn’t a dream any longer. It was real; it was forever. They were home at last. After another moment or two they broke apart, with Ash returning to Drew’s side and Luke to Jordan’s. Each of his brothers had found his happiness, and for that Brandon was grateful, knowing now how both had suffered.
The noise level rose around him as Esther planned a big Sunday dinner for tomorrow, and Jordan argued with Drew about whether or not the Yankees would ever make the World Series again.
It all was so homey and perfect. And so wrong without Tash there.
Chapter Eight
Two identical turquoise gazes tracked Tash’s movements. Once he opened the refrigerator, the cats hopped off the sofa and padded into the kitchen, winding themselves in between his legs.
“I know you’re here, guys.” He bent down to pat them, then, with a sigh, closed the refrigerator door. He had no appetite, but that didn’t mean his pets had to suffer. After giving them some treats, he sat at the gleaming butcher-block table and stared off into nothingness.
That about summed up his life. Nothingness. While he had a full complement of patients and projects to keep busy professionally, it was the downtime, the absolute solitude of his life sometimes that hit him like a slap in his face. Friends could only offer so much comfort. And even though he’d chosen it, having witnessed Brandon’s miraculous reunion with his brothers and seeing how they enveloped him so naturally back into the fold of their family brought his own lonely life into razor-sharp focus.
Five years was a long time to mourn and have regrets. Danny’s behavior, his lies, disappearance, and subsequent death had taken so much out of Tash; he’d given up thinking his heart could ever regenerate and heal. He’d forgone finding love and someone who could share his life. Drained and betrayed, he’d chosen to go through the motions of life, since the reality of it was too painful.
Until Brandon showed up and sent him into a tailspin with his giving nature and purity of heart, breaking through Tash’s self-imposed exile. Desire, long neglected, had rushed through his bloodstream when they’d kissed the other day. And, this afternoon, if Jordan hadn’t interrupted them, he’d have kissed the man again.
Whatever it was that pulled him toward Brandon, it was an invisible force he was fighting against like a riptide in the ocean. He vowed not to get pulled under but to do what was recommended, swim with the tide until the waters cleared. Maybe Brandon had a bit of a crush, and God knew he himself was lonely. Tash refused to listen to his heart and his head, which were speaking to him in concert, telling him Brandon was different, that he could be a man worth getting to know and possibly love.
