Ash, Brandon sensed, was a different story. Demons still lingered, locked up tight inside his older brother. The eyes told the story of what resided within.
“I always imagined this day,” Brandon began in a halting voice; the room grew silent as he spoke. “For years I lived with the hope that somehow one of you would find me, even though I knew it was impossible. So when that didn’t happen, I left on my own when I was seventeen and lived on the streets.”
Ash shuddered, and Drew went to sit next to him, taking Ash’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together. At Drew’s touch, Ash visibly relaxed and threw his lover a grateful smile.
“We’re listening. Go on.”
The kind face of Drew’s grandmother made it easier for Brandon to speak. “I’m sure you’ve all heard our foster father was a difficult man to live with. He was a drunk and beat our mother and occasionally me.” There was no need to get graphic with the elderly woman listening.
Ash met his eyes. “Did he ever touch you? Inappropriately, I mean?” The words came out as a whisper, forced as if it was too difficult for him to say out loud. Obviously, though, everyone in the room knew what Ash was talking about. No one looked shocked or uncomfortable with Ash’s question.
“No. He liked taking a belt to my naked butt, but I think that was more for the pleasure he got beating up someone weaker than himself.” A dawning horror raced through him at Ash’s grim, unblinking stare. The implications of Brandon’s thoughts were too horrifying to say out loud, yet he needed to know. “Did he…? Is that why…?” Unable to put together a coherent sentence, he looked back and forth between Luke and Ash.
Ash’s brief, curt nod chilled Brandon’s blood. “It was so he wouldn’t touch you and Luke, but it became too much for me. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I ran.” Ash let go of Drew’s hand and clenched his own into fists. “I shouldn’t have run; I should’ve stayed and protected you. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
The horror of what Ash had silently endured over those years broke Brandon’s heart. “He didn’t touch me; I promise. It was never like that. When I was taking courses in child psychology in college, I read up on sexual abusers. I thought it would be good preparation for teaching and what to look for in case one of my students showed up at school with signs of abuse. I learned that sometimes the abuser focuses only on one child and leaves the others alone. Maybe he couldn’t touch me because I was so young when I came to live with you all. I guess we’ll never know.”
Luke let out a shuddering breath. “Maybe he thought he really killed me that night, and he got scared they’d find him and put him jail. I’d kill him myself if I ever saw him again.”
Brandon swallowed hard and faced Ash. “You don’t need my forgiveness, Ash. You were too young to have all that responsibility, and with what that man did to you, I’m in awe you stayed as long as you did.” The abuse Ash had suffered protecting him and Luke might have killed a lesser man. “You’re stronger than I ever imagined.”
“Where is he now, still in Pennsylvania?” Luke didn’t need to say the name. They all knew whom Luke meant. Brandon couldn’t tell them, so he remained ambiguous.
“I-I don’t know.”
Luke squeezed his hand. “You’re safe now. I promise with everything I have, you’ll never have to worry about him or anything again.” He glanced up at Jordan and smiled. “You’ve already met Jordan. He and I live together.”
Brandon gave a weak smile. “Hi again.”
Jordan chuckled. “I know this is overwhelming for you. You don’t have to figure out everything now.”
Brandon remembered those same words from Gabriel all those years ago, when he sat huddled in a doorway, homeless and alone. “I know. It’s only…” He shook his head in disbelief. “How can it be that your entire world can change in a minute? If I hadn’t met Gage and he didn’t introduce me to Tash, none of this would ever have happened.”
The smiles on everyone’s faces dimmed at his words.
“Did I say something wrong?”
Jordan’s eyes glittered bright as he answered. “Not at all. And it’s the most wonderful thing that could have happened for Lucas and Ash. We were remembering my fiancé, Keith, who was killed and in whose memory this center was created.” He leaned over and kissed Luke. “The mysteries of the world are best left alone sometimes.”
Sometimes dreams did come true. Like a phoenix from the ashes, the wreckage of their family had been pieced together to rise back strong to take its place among the living. Damaged somewhat, and a bit worse for wear, but never broken or destroyed.
From loneliness to abundance, fear to elation, Brandon knew he’d never forget this day or this tiny room. Life with all its untapped promises had seemed impossible at one point in Brandon’s life. Now it unfurled like a shining path, stretching endlessly in front of him.
But there was a certain hollowness lingering with Tash’s disappearance. Why would he leave when Brandon needed him most of all? Tash was his support, his steadiness in this flux of emotional chaos that was his life at the moment.
“You see, Asher, darling. It’s time you let go of your pain. You have your family, all of us now together.” The quiet voice of Esther, Drew’s grandmother shook with emotion. She fixed her gaze upon Brandon. “My dear young man, the joy you’ve brought to us today is hard to put into words. Knowing how Asher has suffered and Lucas as well, I’m so thankful to still be around to see you all reunited.” She wiped her tears with a handkerchief. “This day will be a new beginning in all your lives, I’m certain.” Her eyes twinkled, and Brandon couldn’t help but smile back at her. “And I must be the luckiest woman in New York City to have all these handsome young men around me.”
“Nana, you’re incorrigible.” Drew shook his head as they all laughed.
“Why? I simply speak the truth.” Her eyes narrowed. “Brandon, you said you lived on the streets. Where do you live now?”
“That was years ago. I live in a studio in East Flatbush now.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Luke looked to Jordan, who nodded. “You’ll come live with us. We have a gigantic townhouse; there’s plenty of space.”
“We have an extra bedroom in the apartment.” Ash’s expression was hopefully expectant. “It’s all yours.”
Destitution to richness. Brandon put up his hands. “Whoa, you guys. Hold on. I don’t need to move. I’m fine.” The four flights and dingy walls didn’t bother him as much as the suffocating loneliness of the nights. Though it was so much more than he’d ever expected, Brandon couldn’t help but wish for the home and family his brothers had achieved. Again his thoughts turned to Tash, and shockingly he knew that as amazing as this day had been, he wished he had someone to share his newfound happiness with.
