“I feel him too.”
Startled, he dropped his gaze to stare wide-eyed at Lucas. “You do? I thought—”
“No. He’s here to tell you how proud he is of you and what you accomplished.”
He held the back of Lucas’s neck and dragged him in for a swift yet devastating kiss. “We accomplished it. I never could’ve done this without you.”
Bits of green and gold glittered in Lucas’s hazel eyes. “Thanks, Prep School.”
Feeling around in his pocket for a minute, Jordan pulled out the key. “Success.” He opened the front door and turned on the lights.
The entire space had been gutted and freshly painted in a bright, cheerful yellow. The floors were a shiny, easy-to-clean laminate with colorful rugs scattered about. Ten rooms with glass windows and doors were set along the back wall, each outfitted with a bookcase, desk, and computer workstation. The large and airy main room had round tables with chairs set about. Shelving was built along the wall, holding every type of board game, as well as art supplies. There were pictures of happy, smiling children and familiar landmarks from all around New York City.
A full library, complete with all the classics as well as fairy tales, mysteries, and romances, occupied the second room in the back. Plump-cushioned low sofas and chairs waited for kids to lie all over them. All of Jordan’s friends had spoken to their local libraries, and they’d agreed to have one of their staff come by for weekly readings.
“What did you and Drew talk about after I left the office?” Lucas dropped into a chair at one of the desks set up for quiet reading.
Jordan sat next to him, smoothing his hand over the shining surface of the new bookcase. “He wanted to plead his case for Ash with me, to get to you. Ash is desperate to talk to you, and Drew loves him, so he’ll try to do anything to make it work.” In his heart, Jordan wanted Lucas to make up with Ash, but it was a decision Lucas had to make on his own. It had to come from Lucas’s heart, not Jordan’s. “Are you certain you won’t meet with Ash, even to merely hear his story?”
“Forget about it. He has his relationship; I have mine. He needs to let it ride and stop trying to make up for a past he can’t ever make up for.” Lucas’s arm came around Jordan’s shoulder in a slow slide, pulling him close to his side. “I admire your sense of friendship.
The warmth of Lucas’s mouth pressed against his, heating his blood. They stayed that way for several minutes, their leisurely kisses intensifying until Jordan dragged himself away, gasping for breath. The steady thump of Lucas’s heart soothed him. “He’s like my brother. I can’t imagine my life without Drew in it.”
“I can’t imagine my life without you, Prep School. You mean more to me than I ever thought possible.”
Lucas’s quiet declaration nearly undid Jordan. He cared so much for Lucas, but the deception he’d created of his life was tearing him up inside. He really wanted to give the pills up; it was wrong to lie to Lucas, to his friends. Guilt chased its tail around his heart. In the two months since Lucas had come home from his European trip, Jordan had cut down his pills but hadn’t been able to let them go completely. The kid he’d bought from kept pressuring him to buy, but Jordan resisted. Even as he sat, his hand shook slightly, but whether it was from emotion or the pills, he didn’t know anymore. When had he lost control of himself, sliding down this never-ending slope of lies?
A pill would be so easy right now. His blood sang for it. LikeThe Tell-Tale Heart, the little yellow lifesaver pulsed in his jeans pocket, though he tried desperately to ignore it.
Chapter Fifteen
There was something wrong with Jordan. Maybe it was the emotion of the evening as he worked the crowd, shaking hands and thanking everyone for coming, but Luke didn’t think so.
“Is he okay?” Neil stood at Luke’s elbow, drink in hand. Lines of concern deepened the grooves in his already weathered face. Luke liked Neil Allen and counted himself fortunate the man accepted him in Jordan’s life. “I don’t like the way he looks.”
“You noticed it too?” Lucas glanced over again at Jordan. The same charming smile flashed white, but to Luke, it looked false. Nor was the laugh as effortless as it could be. Everything about Jordan seemed a bit forced tonight, as though he was putting on a show and wanted everyone to see how adept he was at playing his part.
“I noticed he’s drinking way more than he used to, and his eyes look almost feverish.” Neil’s eyes narrowed. “How much has he had to drink, by the way?”
Luke thought for a moment. “I know this is the second one I’ve seen him drink.”
Neil’s gaze turned speculative as he took a sip of his club soda. Luke knew though he was off duty, the detective still carried his weapon and wouldn’t drink any alcohol. “That, Luke, is a very interesting way of answering my question. I take it to mean that though you’ve seen him drink two drinks, you believe he’s had more than that. Am I correct?”
Luke squirmed under the man’s shrewd stare. He didn’t want it to seem as though he was betraying his lover, but Neil was a friend to both him and Jordan and truly had Jordan’s best interest at heart. “I couldn’t say for sure, but it seems like it.” He pushed the hair off his face and rubbed his eyes. “Something’s going on with him tonight; that’s for sure.”
At that moment Drew and his grandmother approached, and he couldn’t help but return the elderly lady’s smile. After they greeted Neil, who then left to rejoin his wife, Esther slipped her arm through his and squeezed.
“Lucas, sweetheart. You look wonderful. And this place.” Her gaze scanned the room. “What a wonderful tribute to our darling Keith.” Tears threatened, then receded, leaving her eyes glittering with sadness.
“Let me get you a drink, Esther. Some water or a club soda perhaps?” He kept his steps slow and short to match hers as they walked to the table set up for refreshments.
“Lucas. I might be old, but I’m here to celebrate. I want a glass of champagne.”
“Nana.” Drew stood behind them. “You know you aren’t supposed to drink.”
Luke handed her a club soda with lime as she grumbled about overbearing grandchildren.
“Hello, Luke.”
