Luke couldn’t keep Jordan’s gaze. He shook his head and stared out of the window. “It’s not the same thing.”
“That’s what I mean. You can’t because you aren’t ready in your heart.” Luke pushed the button, and Drew’s voice came over the speakerphone.
“Hello, Luke? Are you there?”
Luke sighed. “Yeah, I’m here and so is Jordan. You’re on speakerphone.”
“Hey, Jordy, I tried calling you first, but your phone is off for some reason. Look, guys, the reason I’m calling is that I was wondering if, after the celebration tonight, the four of us could go somewhere and talk.”
Jordan raised his brow and gave him a pointed stare. Luke’s jaw clenched so tight he thought his teeth might crack.
“Jordy, Luke, are you there?”
Drew’s anxious voice stabbed an arrow of regret through Luke, but he knew his answer. “I’m sorry, Drew. The three of you can meet, but I’m not going. I told you all before, I’ve got nothing to say to him.”
“Luke, look—”
“No, you look.” Heartsick and exasperated, Luke couldn’t help but lash out, even though it wasn’t Drew he was angry with. “I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to hear his excuses and stories about what happened. I’m glad you two are happy, but leave me alone.” He strode past Jordan. “I’ll wait for you by Valerie’s desk.”
The door closed behind him with a softsnickof the lock. He didn’t even realize how affected he was until Valerie put her hand on his arm and offered him a glass of water.
“Come sit down.” Her warm eyes held no judgment.
Luke drained the glass and handed it back to her. “I’m fine. I’m waiting for Jordan to finish up with his friend; then we’re off to the center.”
“It’s going to be a wonderful place. My brother’s even heard about it where he works.”
“He’s a psychiatrist, right?” Valerie had told him her brother ran a clinic somewhere in the city.
“Yes. Tash works with people who struggle with their identities as well as those who’ve been abused or have addiction problems.”
Luke shuddered. Not a fun job. “Tash? That’s an unusual name.”
She laughed. “It’s Sebastian, but when I was a baby I couldn’t pronounce that monstrosity and called him Tash. The name stuck.”
The door to his office opened and Jordan walked out, calm and unruffled. “Ready to go?” He smiled at Valerie.
Only Jordan could sail through the awkwardness of a conversation between his lover and his best friend and emerge cool as ice.
“Yeah, I guess.” He tried to catch Jordan’s eye, but one thing he’d learned these past few months together was that Jordan was as good at evading issues as he was. “We’ll see you later tonight at the center.”
“I wouldn’t miss it, gentlemen.” Valerie smiled farewell.
They walked to the elevator banks.
“You realize that Ash is coming tonight to the opening?”
It wasn’t really ever a question in his mind. “Yeah.”
They rode down the elevator in silence.
* * * *
Tears stung Jordan’s eyes as he watched the sign placed on the building. “The Keith Hart After-School Community Center.” He whispered it to himself, waiting for the usual pain to slash its way through his body. Surprisingly, though, it didn’t happen. A warm steadiness, a sort of peace descended over him. It reminded him of Keith’s embrace. And now, of Lucas’s touch. He raised his eyes to the sky. One thing he’d never been was a religious person. It had nothing to do with his homosexuality being accepted or not. As a physician he saw things too clinically and scientifically to believe in a higher power.
Yet today something seemed different than before. The clouds continued their lazy hang, puffing along in a slow-motion samba against a sky that looked a little bluer. He leaned back, face upturned toward the heat. It was the culmination of a dream—one Keith had spoken of often.
A gentle breeze ruffled his hair. The warming fingers of the late-afternoon sun caressed his face. Keith’s presence was overwhelming.
