“Yeah. I said it before. You had to let go and let me make my own choices. Being with Ash is the best thing that ever happened to me. I only hope you open your own heart again and find someone. There’s so much love in you; there always has been. You need someone who can appreciate you. And if it’s Lucas, then we’ll all somehow work it out together, like a family.”
Jordan’s head whirled as they left the diner. He and Drew made plans to meet again, and he watched his friend walk away. He should’ve told Drew about the pills. If he was ever to try and have a real relationship with Lucas, he needed to give them up. Who knew if that was even a choice anymore. Fear spiraled through him at the mere thought of doing without them. As a doctor, he knew the incessant cravings, the slight shakes, and loss of focus were signs he was heading toward disaster. There was only so much Jordan could have other doctors cover for him. Maybe now with Drew back in his life, Jordan could talk to his friends again and ask for support. For the first time he was the weak one, the one who needed help.
If he didn’t stop now, sooner or later his heart would give out from the strain of the drugs. He no longer wanted to die; that had been the grief and anger taking over. Spending time with Drew again was all it took for him to remember how good it had been, what he’d been missing out on.
Determination rose within him, fierce and hot within his blood, to take back his life.
“Drew,” he called out, and Drew, who’d only made it halfway down the block, stopped and turned around. Jordan jogged over to him. “Could you call Mike and come over tonight? I need to tell you guys something.”
Chapter Twelve
Christ, it felt good to be home. Luke pushed his suitcase into the living room, then slammed the door behind him. After being away so long and living in so many hotel rooms, his apartment seemed enormous. He was a little afraid to open his fridge, remembering too late, when he stepped on the plane a month and a half ago, that he’d forgotten to throw out whatever food he had.
A quick toss into the trash remedied that situation. He’d deal with the rest of the cleanup later. First he needed a shower, then a power nap. Funny, he’d never received an answer from the text he’d sent Jordan earlier after the plane had landed. Hmm. Maybe Jordan was in surgery or with a patient. Shedding suit jacket, shirt, and tie as he walked to the bathroom, Luke gazed with longing at his bed. He couldn’t wait to relax, but he first needed to wash away the travel dirt and feel clean again. Then Luke would call Jordan and see how the final arrangements for the center had worked out and how Jordan was feeling now that he had given up the pills. Surely by this time, he’d made significant progress. After all, Jordan was an incredibly strong-willed person, and he hadn’t been taking them that long.
After his shower, Luke settled into bed, relishing the smooth sheets and familiar comfort. There was nothing like his own bed after such a long trip, even if he was alone. His mind wandered back to that afternoon with Jordan. The sex had been nothing short of amazing, but that wasn’t what kept his interest piqued. Something about that man, all skin and bones and blazing arrogance, had intrigued him from the moment Jordan had walked into his office. Secretly, he’d been a little envious of Keith since he’d first seen a picture of Jordan. Luke had always had a thing for the blond-haired, blue-eyed Nordic type, but it was more than his looks that intrigued him so about Jordan.
Self-confidence with a touch of ego was a huge turn-on for Luke. When they were young, Ash, fearless and arrogant had been Luke’s hero. He shook his head angrily. No way would he allow Ash to intrude on his thoughts, especially where Jordan was concerned.
Even from their first meeting, when Jordan was in his darkest, most sorrowful place, his natural leadership qualities and pride had shone through, making him a damn sexy man. Luke thought about all the times he’d wanted to call him this past month, simply to say hello or maybe engage in a little transatlantic raunchy phone sex, but hadn’t found the right moment. Later, after his nap, as his mind was too clouded now by sleep to think anymore, he’d call Jordan and arrange to get together. He turned over on his side and hugged the pillow close as his eyelids drifted shut.
* * * *
The room came into focus, shrouded in darkness. A quick glance at the luminous dial of his bedside clock showed the time at nine thirty. Shit. He’d slept for almost eight hours. He rolled out of bed and stretched. Damn, he’d really needed it though. Energy now hummed through his body, and his stomach growled.
Predictably, the food had been lousy on the plane thus he’d had very little to eat the entire day. Maybe Jordan would want to catch a quick bite, even late as it was, so he reached for his phone to call him. Thinking maybe Jordan had called or texted him while he was sleeping, he checked his messages first.
Nothing. Hmm, that was strange. His stomach clenched at the thought that something might’ve happened to Jordan while he was away. Maybe the drugs…shit no. He would’ve heard something, right? Without stopping to think, he hit the button for Jordan’s phone. It went straight to voice mail. Now more than a little concerned, he scrolled down to the lesser used landline number. It rang three times; then finally, someone answered.
A dog barked in the background, and Luke couldn’t help but smile. He’d missed Sasha too.
“Hello?”
That didn’t sound like Jordan’s voice. “Uh, hi, is Jordan there?”
“Who’s calling?”
The voice sounded familiar, but he still couldn’t place it. “It’s Luke.”
“Oh, hey, Luke, it’s Drew.”
Luke relaxed. Right. Drew. Why wouldn’t he be there? Jordan and he were best friends, and even though their friendship had been strained, Luke was glad Jordan still had his friends in his life to support him.
“Is he there? I got back a few hours ago.” Wow, he was smooth. Could he sound any more like a bumbling idiot?
“Yeah, sure, hold on a sec.” Luke heard Drew call out. “Jordy, Luke’s on the phone.” Luke could only make out a low murmur of voices; then Jordan came on the phone.
“Hello.”
The curt, almost unfriendly tone of Jordan’s voice surprised him. “Hey, Prep School, didn’t you get my text before? I got home earlier and fell asleep for the whole afternoon.”
He laughed, then stopped as he realized he was laughing solo. “What’s the matter? Is everything all right?”
“Everything’s fine.”
Yeah, right. Ice cubes radiated more warmth than Jordan right now. “Bullshit. What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. Thanks for calling, but I’m a little busy right now.”
