“I’ll never stop worrying about you, Reed. It’s what a parent does. Once you love someone with all your heart, you never stop caring.”
Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Reed gave his father a tremulous smile. “I’ll talk to you later.”
Watching his father walk away, his words played over in Reed’s head, and he wondered if his father had ever stopped caring about his mother.
***
Two more weekspassed, and Reed had all but forgotten the stranger from the hotel room. He’d joined his father and Ariel several times for dinner and was thrilled to see she was as into his father as his father was into her. After so many years alone, thinking only about Reed, his father deserved for once to put himself first.
Midterms had come and gone, and Reed was waiting for exam results in his final two classes; every buzz of his phone set his heart racing in case it was a grade. His scholarship money rested on remaining in the top third of his class, and while he’d done well in his other three classes, pride in himself and his work had him teetering on a tightrope of stress. At Dr. Childs’ urging he tried yoga and meditation to calm his nerves, but while he enjoyed the stretching and quiet music playing in the background, his mind raced and he couldn’t concentrate the way everyone else did in the class, so he dropped it.
When Vernon had asked him to take on a few extra shifts he’d jumped at it, eager to fill his evenings. School was on break, and he had no plans; he’d heard his classmates discussing trips, and though he wasn’t exactly envious, it would have been nice to have someplace to go.
Or someone to be with, a little voice whispered in his ear.
Every night the bar was packed with college and grad students looking for easy hook-ups, and Reed turned down more offers than he could keep track of for quickies and blowjobs from men and women alike. Every advance was met with an easygoing smile and a shake of his head. No matter how lonely he was, going home to his silent apartment was always the wiser, safer choice.
The start of the weekend brought out the partiers in droves, but tonight Reed was at the far end of the bar with his back to everyone, figures dancing in his head, helping Vernon with the management end of the business rather than bartending.
“Hey, Reed.”
He put a finger up; he was in the middle of counting the remaining bottles of beer to see if Vernon should order more and didn’t want to lose his place.
“Wait a minute. I’ll be finished in a sec.”
The music pounded, and Reed bounced on his toes in time with the beat as he finished writing the numbers in the bound composition book Vernon insisted on, instead of the computer Reed tried unsuccessfully to get him to use. With that boring chore finished, he turned around to see who called his name.
“Yeah, wha…” His voice trailed off at the sight of the man he had sex with a month ago. His hair had been cut a bit shorter, but Reed would know those piercing, light-gray eyes anywhere. They beckoned. And Reed ignored everything he had worked out in his head this past month and walked over to join him at the bar, pulling and twisting at his bracelet. Realizing what he was doing, he immediately stopped and clasped his shaking hands together.
“What’s your name?” Reed refused to keep thinking of him as “the man he had sex with.”
“You don’t remember?” He seemed a bit put out by the question.
“You never told me.”
A light dawned in the man’s eyes. “Oh, yeah. I guess we were too busy.” His sensuous lips curved in a slightly evil yet incredibly sexy smile, and Reed once again felt that inexplicable tug of lust in the pit of his stomach. “Want to get busy again?”
Reed’s mouth dried at the blatant invitation, but this time he’d had a month to prepare himself. “No, I don’t think so.”
The man visibly startled, and his jaw flexed; he gripped the glass in front of him tighter. “Why not? You can’t tell me we didn’t have fun.”
The safety of the bar provided Reed with a bulwark to resist, and yet he took a step back in retreat. “I’m not interested in fun. I’m too busy right now.”
“Everyone’s busy; we all have responsibilities.” For a moment he gazed unseeing into his glass of vodka, then gave a sly glance up. “Carter.”
Huh?“I don’t understand,” said Reed warily, half expecting the man to grab him again like last time.
Half hoping he might.
“My name. It’s Carter. Carter Haywood. Now will you come back with me tonight?” That inviting, enticing smile presented itself again.
“You’re crazy.” Laughing to himself and shaking his head at Carter’s pushy, insistent behavior, Reed turned his back and walked away.
“You can run from me, but you can’t hide.” Carter raised his voice above the music. “I’ll be here all night, waiting.”
With a casual wave of his hand he hoped hid his rattled nerves, Reed feigned nonchalance and went to tally up the night’s receipts. It was close to nine p.m., and the bar didn’t close until two a.m., so it was a premature task at best, but Reed needed to collect his thoughts, and that meant removing himself from Carter’s disturbing presence. It was so easy to brush off the other sexual advances from customers without a second thought—why couldn’t he do the same with Carter?
Because you want him,that little voice inside him whispered.You don’t always get to pick who crawls beneath your skin and turns you on. It happens.
