“Not likely. I’m gay.”
“Really?” She almost squealed in her excitement. “Well, if you’re interested, I’d love to set you up with my brother. He needs a nice guy.”
Before he knew what he was saying, the words came tumbling out. “I’m seeing someone, but thanks.”
What the fuck?
Before Michelle could bombard him with questions, he cut her off. “Uh, it was nice to talk to you, but I have to get to work. I heard Henry ask Jacks over after school, so Helen will be by to pick him up.” Before she could answer, he hurried away, weaving past the stragglers outside the gates. Reflexively he stuck out his hand as soon as he saw a cab approaching and had the door open almost before it came to a halt. Sweating now, after sliding into the back seat, Carter unbuttoned his heavy wool coat and took off his gloves.
“Second and 73rd.” The driver took off without a word, for which Carter was grateful. Upset with himself over his abruptness with Henry’s mother, he wondered if she thought him rude, then, more importantly, remembered he had to text Helen to pick up Jacks at Henry’s house after school. He sent her a quick text, then slid the phone into his pocket and leaned back in his seat, allowing himself to think about Reed, as he so often did now when he was alone.
What would be so bad if he did start a relationship with someone…with Reed? Immediately as he thought it, he shut it down. He’d have to be fucking crazy; Carter knew he was a moody, workaholic asshole whose sole focus in life was taking care of Jacks and being the best at his job. Except for Jacks, he put himself and his needs first. Now would probably be the worst time to bring someone new into Jacks’s life, at the precise time when he was beginning to find his way and take those first tentative steps toward independence.
His phone buzzed, and he glanced at it, surprised at the sight of Reed’s name popping up on the screen with a text. Reed? Why would he be contacting him? They barely texted, except to make arrangements for their weekend, which was still two weeks away. Two very long weeks of cold showers and lonely nights, where he often had disturbing dreams of him and Reed together in his house, raising Jacks. Being a family.
You made a mistake
His heart fluttered in his chest, and his fingers inexplicably trembled as he texted him back.
What?
You texted me
No I didn’t.
I think you meant it for someone else.
Alarmed, he scrolled up and saw Reed was right; he’d made a stupid fucking mistake. He always made it a habit to delete old texts and only kept the ones from Helen, Lucy—his PA, and now Reed. Maybe he was worked up from the whole morning and Jacks beginning to pull away from him, but whatever caused it to happen didn’t matter. He’d sent Reed the text meant for Helen about picking Jacks up after school.
For a second Carter hesitated, debating if he should disclose Jacks’s existence to Reed. He had no doubt Reed would be sympathetic, caring, and want to help in any way possible, and therein lay the problem. Having a steady man meant easy and uncomplicated sex; he wouldn’t have to think about finding someone for the weekend because that someone would already be there. And Reed had agreed to their arrangement, claiming he had no interest in a relationship or getting involved. Now Carter wasn’t so sure Reed understood how much distance Carter needed between them.
He shook his head in disgust. Nothing had substantially changed for Carter to consider including Reed in his life. With the new friendships he’d cultivated, Jacks needed him and the secure family Carter had tried to create now more than ever. Introducing Reed would upset their delicate family equilibrium. Getting Jacks settled with his friends had to be the main goal now, not Carter’s neglected cock. And if Reed couldn’t or didn’t get it, fuck it all.
Thanks for letting me know.
And like the coward he was he exited out of the screen without waiting for Reed to answer and re-sent the text, this time to Helen. Carter spent the rest of the cab ride into the city wondering why he felt so miserable.
Chapter Nine
‡
“It sounds tome like you really like this man despite your rather unorthodox dating arrangement,” said Dr. Childs, taking notes on her computer. She glanced up and peered at him over the monitor. “Have you thought about broaching the subject of maybe taking it to the level of a real relationship with him?”
“No.” Reed fidgeted in his chair, the brown swirls of the office carpeting capturing his attention. He pulled on his bracelet, then feeling her assessing gaze on him, stopped and folded his hands tightly in his lap.
Reed hated lying to Dr. Childs and had the suspicion she saw right through him no matter what he said. He had a problem—a big one with only one way out as he saw it. Each time he left Carter, his body humming, the taste of his kisses lingering on his lips, Reed played out a scenario where he and Carter would eventually fall in love, but then he mentally slapped himself and woke up from fantasy island. From the first, Carter hadn’t lied to him; their so-called relationship centered on available sex and nothing more. To be fair, Carter had never led Reed on to think any differently. The tenderness he’d shown him was, Reed guessed, natural to Carter though he doubted Carter recognized it within himself. It had nothing to do with falling in love. That walled-up man could never open his heart to him or anyone else.
“You’ve been seeing him for how long now?”
“Six months, I think. Six weekends if you wanted to get technical. And I know little to nothing more about him than the first time I met him.”
A frown drew her lips down in a pinched line. “I don’t understand why you allow yourself to be treated like this. You deserve so much more than to be hidden away and treated like a pet.”
His face heated from her rebuke. “Is that how you see it? I thought we were having a pretty typical open relationship.”
Dr. Childs sighed, and came around from behind the desk to sit next to him. His stomach twisted into knots, and Reed was certain he wasn’t going to like what she had to say.
“I’ve been treating you almost fifteen years now, Reed, and I’d like to think we have the type of relationship that goes beyond mere doctor-patient.”
