“You’re wonderful.” The events of the night were catching up with him, and Drew found himself sagging into Ash’s arms, nuzzling his strong, corded neck. “I’m so lucky to have you.”
“I’m the lucky one.” Ash’s hot breath tickled his ear. “And I want to take you home to my bed.”
Was it wrong of him to want Ash while his best friend’s fiancé had died? He needed to affirm the sanctity of life. To let Ash know that though they’d faced death tonight and suffered its most awful consequences, he loved him more than anything.
“I have so much to tell you.” Drew cradled Ash’s jaw in his hand and kissed his soft warm lips. “So much and it can’t wait. I don’t want to wait any longer.”
“Let’s go home, baby. But first let’s make sure Jordan is okay.” Ash took his hand, and they waited for the crowd of uniforms and suits to step aside. Jordan seemed quieter now, more resigned but no less broken. Gone was the self-confident, slightly arrogant man, and in his place was a gray, worn-out shell of a man.
“Jordy.” Drew held out his arms, and Jordan clung to him for dear life.
“I know I’ve been a bastard, and I’m sorry. I’m going to try and be a better person since that was what Keith wanted.” Jordan’s voice trembled. “I can’t believe he’s gone, Drew. I’m never going to see him again. How am I going to go on?”
Before Drew could open his mouth, Ash spoke. “You’re going to think about him every day, Jordan, and draw your strength from his goodness and his memories. And it will hurt like fucking hell for a long, long time.” Ash took Jordan into his arms, and Drew stood, shocked at how easily Jordan hung on Ash’s words. “But we’ll all be there for you, day and night, whenever you call, to help you through it, because Keith was the love of your life and my heart is breaking from your pain.”
Jordan grabbed on to Ash, pulling at his shirt. “I was wrong, Ash. I had no right, no right at all to try and keep you from Drew. I was arrogant, selfish, and cruel. What you have is as precious as what Keith and I have—had.”
The stricken look on Jordan’s face as he corrected himself almost killed Drew. It hit him then, like a fist to the stomach, that Keith was really gone forever, and Jordan was alone.
“Jordy, I love you.” Drew threw his arms around his best friend. “No matter what we’ve said to each other, you’ll always be my brother.”
“Go home, Drew. Go home with Ash and tell him how much you love him. Hug each other hard and kiss each other soft and slow. Make love until you scream out loud. Never take the love you have for granted.” Jordan gulped, the tears rolling down his face. “I loved him, you know that, right? He saw through all my bullshit and arrogance, and I loved him so fucking much.” He shuddered and fought for control. “Go home now, you two. I need to be by myself for a while and say my good-byes to Keith alone.”
Drew kissed him and walked into Ash’s arms. With one last glance over his shoulder at his best friend, standing by himself in the middle of the empty waiting room, he left, Ash holding him tight, giving him strength.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
It was quite possibly the worst night of his life. Ash couldn’t understand how a day that had started out so beautifully and with so much happiness had ended in such horrendous tragedy.
Drew sat, strangely quiet during the cab ride to Ash’s house. Ash had called Marly and asked her to stop by Drew’s house and feed the cat. There was no chance on earth he’d let Drew go back to that apartment tonight. The memory of Keith, so vibrant and alive at the party, would be too devastating to face in the light of day.
When they reached Ash’s apartment building, he helped Drew out of the cab and led him into the building. Keeping his arm around Drew, Ash nodded hello to the concierge.
“Good morning, Mr. Davis.”
“Good morning, Lawrence. I’m not home for anyone today, unless it is Mr. Klein’s family.” Drew sighed into his shoulder, the warmth of his breath gusting into Ash’s neck.
“Very good, Mr. Davis.” The concierge nodded. “Terrible thing about that police officer who was killed last night.”
Drew stiffened but said nothing, though Ash could sense his trembling. He had to be in shock, both from the effects of the blow to his head and the loss of his friend.
“He was a friend of mine and Dr. Klein’s. A wonderful man.” Ash tightened his arm around his lover, and Drew’s trembling increased. “Thank you, Lawrence.”
“You’re welcome, sir.”
Neither of them said a word during the elevator ride up, nor did they speak in the hallway as Ash unlocked his door. Ash went right to the bar, poured some vodka, then came back to the kitchen and added ice. Drew stood by the door, exactly where Ash left him. His eyes remained closed, his body slumped against the wall.
“Here, baby, take a sip of this and come with me.” Drew took the glass, and Ash covered his hand, helping him hold it steady to take a sip. “Easy, killer,” Ash joked as Drew gulped the drink, then coughed.
“That’s straight vodka.” Drew sputtered and wheezed.
“That’s what I drink.” Ash grinned for the first time. “I thought you could use it to help you relax.”
A weary smile broke over Drew’s face. “The only thing I need is you.”
Any guilt he might have felt over bringing Drew home with him faded as Ash took his hand and led him into the bedroom. Although it was early morning, the room was hushed, the sounds of the traffic on Park Avenue muted.
Unhurried yet purposeful, Ash stripped Drew of his shirt, pants and boxers until he stood before him naked and gleaming, his beautiful cock jerking and swelling. Ash slipped off his own pants and boxers and, with fumbling fingers, unbuttoned his shirt. He pulled Drew down to the bed with him, but instead of kissing him, Ash gathered Drew against his chest. Nothing helped him breathe easier than holding this man in his arms.
