It would be too easy to slide between those tight cheeks, rocking himself to oblivion. But it wasn’t what Ash wanted anymore. What Ash did want was to see Drew’s face when he entered him and watch Drew’s eyes grow blind from lust when he came.
Shit, he sounded like a fucking cheesy Hallmark card. Easing out from underneath Drew’s body, he stood and gave a lingering look at the sleep-warmed man lying in the bed. For the first time Ash shared a bed with someone other than when he and his friends had huddled together in his bed back in their foster home. But that didn’t count. They’d come together then because they were scared of storms or when Munson was beating up his wife. Not the fondest of memories.
This was different. Drew sighed and cuddled the pillow, and an unfamiliar twist curled through Ash’s heart. He turned on his heel and, after finding a toothbrush and disposable razor in the bathroom, cleaned himself up. He picked up his wrinkled clothes from the floor with distaste. Shit, he couldn’t go to the office like this, but nothing Drew owned would fit him.
He wandered into the kitchen, determined to wake up and make himself some coffee. The sight of the large black-and-white cat sitting in the center of the kitchen floor, staring at him with those wide, unblinking eyes, unnerved him for a second. “Hello, kitty. Are you hungry too?”
No answer, merely a swish of the tail.
Hmm. He saw the cat bowl on the floor, but finding the food would require a search of the cabinets, which was kind of personal, but what the hell. After opening and closing several doors, he found a bag of dry food. Success. When he picked up the bag, the cat came to life, meowing and winding himself around Ash’s legs. After he filled the bowl with food, Ash replaced the water. The animal now taken care of, Ash discovered the coffee and set out to brew himself a cup.
Within moments he was sipping a sweet-smelling vanilla-bean coffee. He glanced at the kitchen clock and saw it was barely eight o’clock. Remembering he had a business to take care of, he picked up the phone and called the office.
“Davis and Frank. How may I help you?” The early morning, perky voice of Laura greeted him.
“Hello, Laura. Is Walker in yet?”
“Good morning, Mr. Davis. Yes, Mr. Walker is here, preparing for your ten o’clock.”
He sipped his coffee. Good. “Put him on, please.”
“Of course, sir. One moment.”
A click and then a nervous-sounding Walker came on. “Mr. Davis? Is everything okay?”
Walker had been with him for eight months now, but Ash still thought the man believed he’d be fired anytime they spoke.
“Everything’s fine. I’ve had a bit of a family emergency, so I won’t make the meeting.”
“I see.” A cautious tone crept into Walker’s voice. “I can reschedule them.”
“No, no.” Ash heard movement from the other room, and suddenly he was anxious to see Drew again. “I trust you to handle it.”
Silence for a moment. “You do?” Walker sounded so incredulous Ash had to laugh.
“Yes, I do, unless you think there’s a reason I shouldn’t?” Ash chuckled to himself as Walker stuttered in his ear.
“N-no. Of course not. Thank you, sir. I’ll make sure everything turns out the way you intended it to. You can count on me.”
“I know, Walker. I’ll talk to you later.” He clicked off and made another cup of coffee. He found bagels in a bag on the counter and had taken out a knife to slice them for toasting when a noise behind him caught his attention. He whirled around.
“Oh my God, Ash. No.” Drew stood at the doorway to the kitchen, naked except for a pair of boxers, a frightened expression on his pale face. “Put the knife down, please.”
What the fuck? Then he looked down and saw his hand still gripping the large serrated bread knife and knew immediately what Drew had thought. Embarrassed, he instinctively struck out. “What? Afraid I’m going to bleed all over your kitchen?” After that cruel jab, he couldn’t look at Drew, so he turned around, his entire body tight with shame, anger, and regret. His head remained bowed while he struggled to keep from howling his pain.
It had been wrong to give in to his desire to sleep with Drew. The man knew too much about him. Drew had stripped back his layers, almost to the center core of who he was. The part of him he’d always kept hidden, for fear if anyone ever got to that point, they’d see what he truly was.
Nothing. A nobody.
A warm palm flattened against his back. Ash flinched and tried to pull away, but the other hand slipped around his waist. Drew leaned against Ash’s back and held him close, his cheek pressed into the muscles of his shoulders.
“I’m sorry. I was wrong for jumping to conclusions. I was so scared when I saw you holding the knife that all thoughts flew out of my head.” Drew’s soft, warm lips kissed his neck. “Forgive me.”
Ash turned and faced Drew. He stared back, his eyes so open and honest Ash couldn’t help but pull him close. “No, I’m sorry I yelled at you. You had every right to think something might happen, especially now that you know.”
Drew pulled away but held on to his wrist. Ash could feel his fingertips trailing over the old scars, even though the nerve endings had never fully recovered. “Will you tell me what happened?” Drew’s voice struggled to remain neutral, but the pain in his face was obvious. “Only if you want to, of course.”
Thoughts scurried through Ash’s mind like mice. What to say, what to hide? Then he remembered last night, watching Drew’s face under him as they made love. The trust he’d been given was a gift. He couldn’t lie to this man if his life depended on it.
