They lay side by side, panting in tandem. Ash glanced over at Drew, and though his eyes were closed, Ash knew Drew wasn’t asleep. As his own breathing slowed and his erratic heartbeat returned to its normal tempo, Ash reached over to take Drew’s hand, but froze before their fingers touched.
What the hell was he doing? Nervous and confused, he pulled his hand back and rolled over on his side, away from Drew.
“You know, I’m not waiting for you to tell me that you love me. I told you I wanted this. Nothing’s changed, and I’m not sorry.”
Somehow, Drew’s quiet voice made him feel even worse. “It’s not that.”
“Oh no?” The hint of a smile in Drew’s question relaxed him somewhat. “What is it then?”
Ash rolled back to his other side, still marveling that he had this man in his bed. Naked. Drew lay facing him, propped up on one arm, chin resting in his palm. The moonlight brightened the room with a pale glow, picking up the green glints in Drew’s eyes.
Funny, he could talk circles around his opponents in court and had no qualms about fucking men he barely knew, but now, the simplest of pillow talk with this gentle man, someone he thought of as a friend, made him nervous as hell. Probably because he’d never done it before.
“Uh, I’m not used to this.” He bit his lip. “I, um, usually don’t talk or entertain. Afterward.”
Even in the dimness of the moonlight, Ash could see the hurt enter Drew’s eyes.
“I see.”
To his shock, Drew rose from the bed, fumbled around on the floor, and slipped on his jeans. “I’ll be going then.”
Fucking hell. “No. You misunderstood me.” He’d never forgive himself if Drew walked out now, feeling as though he’d been screwed and dismissed. With long strides, Ash reached the bedroom door before Drew and grabbed his arm. “Stop. Where are you going?”
Drew yanked his arm away, then pulled his T-shirt over his head and kept walking. “I’m leaving. You made it clear you were done.”
Christ, were they ever going to be on the same wavelength? “Drew, wait.” Naked except for his shirt, he nevertheless sped after Drew, sensing that if he didn’t stop him now, something vital and precious would be lost forever. “Please.”
To his immense relief, Drew’s footsteps faltered, then stopped. He stood with his back to Ash, but Drew’s stiff posture and folded arms broadcast his obvious hurt. Ash knew he owed the man an explanation. Above anything else, they were friends first.
“I wasn’t talking about you and me.” He licked his suddenly dry lips, wishing like hell he had a drink. Something, anything to calm the sudden firing of every one of his nerve endings. Shit, even his hands shook. “I meant that I’d never done it before because I never wanted to. And now I do, but I don’t know how.”
When Drew turned around to speak, the hurt look had been replaced by a sort of wary, puzzled expression. He raked his hand through his hair.
“I don’t get it. What don’t you know how to do?”
“Forgive me, but I tend to argue a point better when I have clothes on.” The sense of relief that the night hadn’t all gone to shit hit him with a force so overwhelming, he braced himself against the wall. He held a hand out to Drew. “Will you please come back to bed?”
Although Drew did nothing more than nod, those gorgeous green eyes of his flared for a moment, giving Ash hope that the night had not yet ended for them. And as Drew’s hand slipped into his, Ash gave it a gentle squeeze, then laced their fingers together. He could almost hear Mr. Frank’s voice in the hallway, speaking to him.
“Take a chance, Asher. Open your heart.”
Even though that wasn’t about to happen, he wasn’t ready to let Drew go. Not yet. He sat at the edge of the bed, placing his hand on Drew’s chest, holding him in place. By now, the moon had shifted, taking its luminescence with it, leaving the room in near total darkness. The way he liked it. The way he needed it.
Without any words, Drew once again removed his shirt, and Ash slid the jeans and boxers down to his ankles. The outline of Drew’s smooth, pale cock was visible in the darkness, and without any hesitation, Ash bent down and took it in his mouth, drawing a yelp of surprise, then a long-drawn-out moan of pleasure from Drew.
And for him? No fear. Only desire.
This wasn’t him lying helpless and alone, unable to fight back. He was in charge. He was in control, and that thought spiked Ash’s own pleasure, causing his cock to swell with need. Ignoring his arousal, Ash ran his tongue on the underside of Drew’s cock, then, sucking the head and tonguing the slit at the tip, drew the shaft deep into his mouth. He held on to Drew’s slim hips, rubbing his fingers on the smooth globes of Drew’s ass, all the while keeping up the sliding friction of his mouth on this man’s cock.
Deeper and deeper Drew thrust into Ash’s mouth, and instead of fighting it like he thought he would, Ash welcomed it, wanted it in fact with an intensity that shocked and scared him to his core. For his entire life he’d denied himself the taste of a man in his mouth, thinking only of his degradation and debasement by his foster father. But with Drew pumping faster and harder, whimpering his pleasure, thrusting deeper into his mouth, Ash suddenly couldn’t get enough.
He released Drew for a moment but kept swirling his tongue around the smooth head of Drew’s erection, muttering against the glistening tip, “Go ahead, baby, fuck my mouth. Do it.” Then he slid his lips down Drew’s cock, relaxing his throat, taking him deep.
Drew held on to Ash’s shoulders, his fingers biting into the skin as he threw his head back, groaning his pleasure. “Shit. Oh my God.”
Ash slid his index finger into his mouth, wetting it with his saliva and precum. Then with a gentle swipe, he inserted it in the crease of Drew’s ass.
Like Ash knew would happen, Drew came, harder and noisier than he had before, his salty-sweet essence pumping into Ash’s mouth and down his throat while Drew’s cry of pleasure echoed throughout the room. Ash swallowed it all, then pulled away. For the briefest of moments the old fear grabbed at him, only to be knocked aside as Drew knelt down next to him, laying his head in Ash’s lap.
