Mom did get so excited when I told her about Noemi and the movie that would be filmed in Italy.
“A movie star!” she had breathed, covering her mouth like she couldn’t believe it. “My bestie boo an Italian movie star! That’s why I named you Estella. I always knew you’d be a star—no matter what you decided to do in life. Estella Valentina Fausti on the big screen!Woop! Woop!”
The movie was going to start filming after our second wedding, and it was nice that it would be filmed in another walled city in Sicily. Noemi said it was the perfect location, and Carlo Bondi had agreed. I’d met him about a week ago. We’d had a formal dinner at Luca’scastelloand discussed more than just film. I likedSignoreBondi. He was an older man who smelled like some kind of expensive alcohol and cigars, and he was as warm as the Italians I had come to love.
Matteo put Saverio in charge of security, and since the town was mostly vacant, Saverio said security wasn’t going to be a challenge. The town would be paid sufficiently to close its road in and out for a few months, basically the entire place, and have guards everywhere.
Speaking of guards…I hit my horn at Oscar and Noemi, who were walking side by side down the road. I wasn’t sure what was going on between those two, but I decided not to stick my nose in it anymore. The two guards behind me honked at him too, but I could tell they did it to make him scrunch up his face. I could see them laughing in the rear-view mirror.
Niccolo answered the door to the villa, and after he greeted me, he stepped to the side so I could come inside. Mom was on the couch, bundled up, taking a nap. She looked tired. She’d had a treatment the day before, and I could tell it had taken a lot out of her. She never complained, so she wouldn’t have told me if it made her feel bad. I decided to let her rest.
“Sit down,” she said in her sleep.
“Mom?”
“Who else?”
I laughed quietly. “I thought you’d be up by now.”
She cracked one eye open. “Niccolo fed me a big breakfast. It knocked me out.”
I looked at him and he lifted his hands, a sly grin on his face. He kissed her on the forehead, and her hand came up, fisting his shirt, but she let go when he went to walk into another room. It seemed so natural, so…effortless. Like me and Matteo.
Hmmm…
Sitting, I sighed. “You have something to tell me, Mom?”
“Yeah,” she said, sticking her hand out of the covers. I gave her my hand, helping her to a sitting position. “I’m okay. Don’t worry. I was being serious about that breakfast. Lord, I’m full!”
“That’s what you wanted to tell me?”
“No.” She looked away from me and sighed. “I talked to the doctor yesterday.” Her eyes flew to mine. “I’m okay. Better than I was when I came here. He said he really thinks I’m going to beat this. And that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, baby. You need to be screened.”
“For what you have?” We’d decided not to use the “C” word. We refused to speak it out loud and give it more power.
She nodded. “We went over what I knew about my family history, and what I’ve learned from what Saverio told me he found, and…my mom had this, and my grandmother…all ovarian.”
“So, it might be hereditary?”
“It’s best to be checked to find out.” She patted my hand, not really answering my question.
“If I’m at risk?” My heart started to beat faster, because if I was, I had an idea of where this was going. They might want to take out the cells. And that might mean I might not be able to carry children. Because I need my ovaries to have babies.
“We’ll figure that outifthat’s the bridge we’re forced to cross.”
“Okay,” I whispered, but panic set in deep inside of me. I could feel it vibrating beneath the surface, like Matteo’s old truck in Louisiana. I squeezed her hand, pretending like everything was fine. Just a precautionary measure, right? “I’m going to let you rest, mom. Want to go for a ride later?”
She hugged me, and it was tighter than usual. “I’ll get slapped by twigs anytime with you, bestie boo.”
I laughed, but it was only to hold back the tears, or the vomit I felt might erupt from my stomach. On the other side of the door, I almost turned around and went back inside. I wanted to hug my mom again, cry into her shoulder, but she was already struggling. I heard her start to cry after Niccolo shut the door behind me. But who I really needed was my husband. I wanted to fall into his strong arms and tell him how fucking scared I was. What if we couldn’t have children? I wanted that with him more than anything.
And…
What would that mean for him?
He wanted them too—more than anything.
And he loved this family. It was his passion. He’d lived his entire life thinking one day it would be his to rule. And a ruler without children? I didn’t think that was allowed. That was why family law pushed for the man who would be king to get married early. Not only did it prove to them that the man would be committed, but that he’d have children to carry on his lineage by the time he rose to the throne.
