Because love didn’t hide.
I may have never been in it before, but I knew that. Even Kirill Balabanov, the Russian mobster in New York who was obsessed with me, never hid his feelings.
He never hid me.
Yeah, he’d try to abduct me from time to time, lock me in his penthouse when he wanted me to stay put, but he never hid me from the world.
“Ava!” he roared.
I stopped chanting, and the quiet around us suddenly seemed so loud.
He ran a hand over his head, and he looked around, like he wanted to hit something or pace, but water made it hard to do. “There is nothing I can say or do to make this better—right now. All I fucking know is that I need you. I need you like a heart needs a body. Like lungs need air. I did not see you coming.” He laughed, but it wasn’t funny at all. It was a sad sound. A regretful one. “Then your cloak in Venice…it made me take notice of you.”
“My cloak? Why?”
He blinked at me. “You did not notice?”
“Notice what?”
“The pattern.” He turned and showed me his back. “The crystals. They are the same as my wings.”
I traced the shape of the wings and his skin puckered.
“I didn’t…” I didn’t even notice.
He turned toward me. “I know you are scared. It is okay to be afraid to crash. But do not leave me. Do not say no to me. Stay with me. Let me love you,uccellino selvatico.” He said something in Italian, and I blinked at him.
He used his thumb to dry a droplet of saltwater from my cheek. “My words translate to: my love is not a cage. My love is the air. You can fly all you want, but you will fly back to me. If you say no to me, my air will be gone, and I will crash. If we both go down, we go down together.”
My sister never outright said it, but she thought I made bad decisions. And I had a feeling if she were here, she would tell me this was another one.
Possibly the worst mistake I would ever make because my heart had never been on the line before—just my life.
But what if this arrangement he was offering me was enough for a while longer?
What if I just stole the moments between the one we were in and the moment he made vows to another woman?
I didn’t have room for regrets.
I never wanted to look back on my life and regret this moment.
What if I said no and never got over it?
Life is short, until we’re forced to live with a decision we can never take back. Then the seconds tick by like you’re waiting for payday to eat again.
Wasn’t it best to have a few moments of happiness than a lifetime of nothing special?
I was already on a path to Edna status. Staring at a poster day in and day out, talking to it, wishing for it to speak to me so badly, I couldn’t have a normal relationship.
I wouldn’t commit to forever.
Only this moment.
The moments we had left before he took his vows.
I won’t say no to him. I won’t say anything at all.
I’ll just lean in and…kiss him.
