“Ava,” he said my name so passionately, so reverently. “Look at me.”
I took a deep breath and released it slowly. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”
He snapped something at me in Italian. I was almost positive he ordered me to look at him.
I did.
His eyes were reflecting the water, and they almost seemed teal—blue and green mixed. With his coloring, jet black hair and deeply tanned skin, it was almost impossible not to be hypnotized by him. He had the power to make me feel like I needed to heal him, whatever was hurting him, because a man like Nazzareno Fausti rarely let his guard down. And I could feel it crumbling around him, being washed out in this lagoon in the middle of Rome.
“I do not love her.”
“I know. You told me earlier. But you’re still getting married.”
It seemed like he wanted to look away from me, but his pride wouldn’t allow him to. He shrugged. “It will not mean anything. It is just for show.”
“You’re still going to sleep with her.”
“She wants children.”
“With the Fausti name.”
He nodded slowly, like he didn’t want to make any sudden moves and scare me. “It is complicated between our families.”
“Let me guess, and you can tell me if I’m right. Your parents made the arrangement with hers. She’s probably some heiress, or some famous name, or someone in high society. Someone that will pair well with the Fausti name. Both sides want this arrangement badly. Especially since you are the first son of Lothario, a direct heir to Marzio. Am I getting this right so far?”
He nodded.
“She wants you for herself, but understands it’s only an arrangement, and like Rosaria, is willing to…allow you to take other lovers.”
He sighed. “I went to see her. I was looking for a way out. She said some things that made me question her…” He touched his temple. “She met me outside before I left. We took a ride and discussed it in private. Her house is monitored.”
Why did that burn me so deeply, when he said,we discussed it in private? I had no claim on this man except for the one my heart had convinced my head I had, but I wanted to hurt him as much as he was hurting me suddenly.
I tamed it down, though, because we needed to talk this out so I could leave. He wasn’t going to let me out of this pool if I didn’t hear him out. But I already knew where this was headed. I’d gotten a glimpse of the dead-end road in New York while wading through bloody water and plucking a picture of Rosaria Caffi from a dead man’s empty chest.
A chest void of a heart because of this man’s family.
“I’m sick of playing this guessing game. I don’t want to be right anymore because I already know the truth. Breaking the arrangement with her will start another war in your family.”
“My father will break ties with me, and I will be required to swear fealty to a different faction. No one will touch me if I go back on my word to Elettra and her family. I gave it when I agreed to the terms. It will be a marriage of show. That is all.”
“Except for those few times in the bedroom when you make babies with her.”
“She will not budge on that.”
I bet she wouldn’t.
“If I accept this deal—which, let’s get this straight. I will be your…mistress?”
He grabbed me by the arms and stared into my eyes. He wanted to say something but couldn’t. I would have a label then, and he couldn’t deny it. He would love me in the dark.
Which was not surprising. My entire life was spent in it, searching for a route to this man. I was just too late and had missed the daylight.
“You will keep me in your penthouses, in your mansions, but for public events I’ll be hidden. In public, in general, I’ll be hidden. Will I be the only one?”
“You are fucking killing me. You arethe one. I lo—”
I held a hand up. “Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it,” I chanted, just like I did when Sonny wouldn’t give me attention. I couldn’t deal with the words I knew Naz was about to say.
