She smiled at me. “This is allowed, right? Looking but no touching. Since we’re here and there are private shows.” She pointed to the window. “I’m not sure how much this would have cost you, but…you’re getting it for free. Just think of it as a parting gift. A memory of me when I’m not here.” She shimmied out of the underwear, and her thighs glistened with want.
She started to touch herself.
She let out a surprised noise that collided with my growl as I pushed her body against the wall.
“No touching!” she shouted at me.
I lifted my hands.
“It’s the same thing!”
My grin came slow. “Boys, I see, have given you this impression, ah?”
She shoved against my chest, but then tried to pull at the fabric of my shirt. She took the lapels of my suit and strangled them. “Men whoomitare no better than boys who don’t know how to fuck properly yet!”
“You have had plenty of experience with men and boys, ah?”
“Fuck you, NAZ FAUSTI!” She slapped me across the face, and I turned my cheek, offering her the other side.
“Nah,” she breathed. “Your other cheek isn’t even worth the pain of hitting you again.”
I looked up and our eyes met.
She whimpered, before she made a strangled sound in her throat. “You could have told me!”
“I did not want my personal life to be front-page news.”
“Bastard!” she seethed. “You did this on purpose. You took advantage of the attraction between us. You made me fall for you so I couldn’t break away, not cleanly anyway, when I found out you’re getting…married!” She had shouted the last three words, and even though they were supposed to sound strong, her voice trembled on the wordmarried.
“Fuck,” I snapped, curling my hands into fists and setting them on each side of her head, locking her in. Slowly, at my own peril, I leaned my head closer, and set my forehead against hers. I told her I was sorry,mi dispiace, the words leaving my mouth for the first time in my life.
Her words were the truth. I did not want her to know. I wanted us to be free to fall without any restraints. What existed between us needed to be felt, explored, absorbed, even if it would not last forever.
Just for a moment.
A second.
Minutes.
Hours.
Days.
A month that would get us through the rest of our lives.
I was so fucking wrong. No time would be long enough with her.
“Do you love her?” Her voice wavered.
I smiled, but it was far from genial. “Love is a toss-up when it comes to this romantic and ruthless family I share blood with. My gamble did not pay off.”
She nodded and looked away for a second before she met my eyes. “I wanted you to feel how I felt,” she whispered. “I can be with you, but I can’t touch you, even though it’s killing me not to! I’ve never felt this way before.” She was losing it, her words rushed. “I’m so fucking terrified of it. Of not having…you in my life. I don’t know how it happened, but you’ve become vital to me somehow. And it doesn’t matter what your last name is.A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.A lion by any other name would still roar and have a mane.
“I don’t know what to do. How to leave this all behind.” She took a deep breath. “How to let you go, Nazzareno Fausti. It feels like…letting my entire life go. Where do I go from here? I have nowhere to go! Not even a stupid rent-controlled apartment in New York. I have…no one to love. Not even a geriatric dog my cat would hate! I’ll be as empty as Villa Sull'albero as Edna—for the rest of my life.”
I shoved away from the wall and took my coat off. I helped her slip into it and buttoned it up. It was longer than her dress, and it swallowed her form. The sleeve shielded our hands as I led her out of the club. All the energy from before had been drained from her, hopelessness taking its place. She almost lagged behind and didn’t put up a fight when I picked her up and carried her out. She tucked her face into my neck and breathed me in.
In the car, she turned away from me and faced the window. She set her head against it and closed her eyes.
