“Pleases me.” I could barely get the words out after the word “pleases” rolled sensually from his lips. What those lips could do to me… “Yes,” I whispered, then took my voice up a notch. “But ‘pleases’ is a weak word to describe how I feel right now. About being here.”
…with you.The last two unvoiced words were simple, but I had no idea how much it was going to cost me in terms of emotional spending if I added them in. Even though it seemed like something had changed between us after what happened toNonno, his grandfather, I still had no idea what he would do if he ever found out how I felt. It was as uncertain as what lay beneath my feet. Maybe a lot of treasure, or maybe a bunch of monsters I didn’t want to face, either.
“Get dressed, Mariposa,” he said. “Living means getting dirty. And right now, you’re too fucking clean.”
After I stepped a few paces away from him, I squared my fingers, set them in front of my face, and then made aclicknoise when the sight I never wanted to forget was perfectly in frame.
My husband, no shirt on, gazing out at the sea.
2
MARI
The first thing Capo did after the tender brought us to land was buy me a fancy camera. He told me it was unacceptable that I was making aclickingnoise when I took a mental picture. If I wanted a camera, I’d get a camera.
After the man at the shop plugged it in and charged it for me for a while, it took me two hours to figure out how to work it, and then I was unstoppable.
We were only at our first stop on a who-knows-how-long nautical journey, and I must have taken over a hundred pictures. The view was breathtaking. I’d never seen water so clear in my life, except in Sicily. Blues and greens reminded me of melted gems in a sea of crystal. The beaches were bright, the sand a light tan. The mountains towering in the distance only seemed to add to the beauty, and in some areas, they gave the island a secluded vibe.
It was like we were in our own little ancient bubble of paradise.
The sun was relentless, and the weather was hot. Even the breezes were tepid. And the smell? I inhaled deeply, wishing I could keep the freshness of it forever in my lungs.
Heaven.
Pure heaven.
I’d decided to wear a teal bathing suit and cutoff shorts and sandals so I’d be able to absorb as much of it as possible. I wanted to feel it deep down in my bones. I’d carry it with me back to New York for the winter.
I kept the camera close to my heart, the strap around my neck, as we hiked up to a monastery on a cliffside, the sea shushing tranquilly below. Someone would have to break my neck for it if they decided they wanted it bad enough.
No one was around, but I still looked, just to check.
“What are you grinning for?” I looked at Capo from underneath the beach hat he’d bought for me. The sun was bright, and the hat was shielding my eyes some, along with a pair of glasses I’d gotten from the same market.
“You think someone is going to jump out of a bush and steal your camera?”
I waved a hand. “Happens all the time in New York. You know how many times I’ve had my bag almost stolen?”
“How many?” he asked after I didn’t go on, narrowing his eyes at me.
“That was kind of a rhetorical question, Capo.”
“What did I tell you before? It is or it isn’t. Erasekind of, sort of, maybefrom your vocabulary, Mariposa, when it comes to me.”
“What about everyone else?”
“Fuck them.”
Okay then. “Itisa rhetorical question,” I said, emphasizingis.
He nodded in all seriousness. “How many times?”
“Oh.” It took only a few seconds for me to switch gears and change the direction of my thoughts. The monastery was in closedistance, and my feet were hustling to get to it, my mind already there. “I didn’t keep count, but let’s just say it was a bunch.”
“You fought them for it.”
It took me a second to answer. I didn’t like the tone of his voice when he’d said it, like if he could, he’d go back and fight for me. From recent history, I knew this to be true. It made me feel flighty, like I could run and then jump from this cliff, gliding. But in another way, it brought back memories of things best left in the darkness, weighing me down.
