I’d stolen her heart, not truly understanding the consequences of actually claiming a heart like hers.
Love was like death in that way. We didn’t get to decide.
The realization sent a shock to my chest and jolted me out of my thoughts. I blinked, realizing how hard I’d been staring at her. I had to stop myself from doing it again, from allowing her to completely consume me.
“Kelly,” she said, snapping at me. The heat rose from her neck, staining her cheeks. “The look on your face.”
“You can’t read my face,” I said, though I knew she had. How fucking dangerous—not even my old man could read my face. My twin. He was the only one.
She narrowed her eyes, pointing at mine, moving her finger from left to right. “I did. And I don’t like what I felt after.” Then she shook the digit at me, like I was being a naughty fucker.
“Enlighten the lost.”
“You realized something.”
“If I did?”
She put a hand to her neck, probably to cool the burn. “I’m mature enough to admit that I know what this means, but I refuse to talk about it. Because this—” she motioned between us “—is what it is. I thought maybe it had a chance to go somewhere, but I was wrong. So fucking wrong.”
I pointed behind her, toward the main room. “Your room.”
“I’mnotsleeping with you.”
“I’m going to take the other room.”
She stood there for a minute, staring at me, waiting, so I took her suitcase and mine, moving past her, leaving hers by the bedroom door.
“Be ready by eight,” I said. “Dinner.”
“I’m tired,” she said.
“I’ll wait.”
* * *
She wasready by eight sharp.
I doubted she was hungry, only trying to prove me wrong if I’d assumed she’d make me wait until the wee hours of the morning to eat dinner.
She stared at me and I stared at her.
She was wearing all black, and with the color of her hair, she reminded me of a fire in the middle of the night. And those heavenly blue eyes, my heaven, were tinged with red.
“No matter how much you look at me like that, I won’t be swayed on this, Kelly.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, her wedding ring catching the light for a brief second. She used her pointer finger to wipe at the corner of her eye. Then she looked at me again. “Such a waste.”
“Me,” I said.
“No.” She shook her head. “What’s between us—the hope that it could grow. I accept you. This. For what it is. Because believe it or not, for a time, it felt perfect. How it was supposed to be. Even with the fucked-up circumstances that brought you to me.” She touched her neck, over her pulse point. “But when I look at CeeCee and Ryan, in good conscience, I can’t accept adding poison to any community. Not like that. Not when it hits so close to home.”
Before I could say anything, or she could see the truth on my face again, she moved past me in a whirlwind. Her usual bold scent had changed. It smelled metallic. The scent of her blood. She’d opened a vein right in front of me, not even expecting me to stitch her up, but doing it because she believed in a cause she felt I was fucking with.
I was right behind her as she made her way to the car. I knew it was going to be a quiet trip, and it was. She turned her face away, staring out of the window. We parked, and even as we walked the streets, she kept her distance, keeping herself occupied with the sights around her instead of me.
I directed her to the old pub off of Waterloo, and as I stepped inside, the noise pulsated inside of my head after being surrounded by her silence for so long. I took my wife’s coat and set it over my chair at the bar. The black sweater she swore came to her midriff, and her black pants flowed down her long legs. Her hair was a wild storm of red curls, and her blue eyes glowed under the dim lights, making the few freckles over her nose more pronounced.
She was fucking perfect, and it was attracting attention. I stared at one fucking wanker until his eyes moved from my wife to me. He turned away a second later, laughing with his bunch of pussy friends.
My wife flicked me on the hand, and when I looked at her, she had an expectant look on her face. She nodded toward the barmaid. “Bar food good for you, Kelly?”
