"Afraid?Afraid of what,cherie?"
Shetook a deep breath to control her tears and looked up at him. "What if,one day, you decide that I was not worth such a great sacrifice? What if youare never able to gain all you have sought and the realization that you pushedaside your only chance for such gain because of me becomes a slow poison to allwe share?"
"Eada,my mind and heart were clear when I said no. I have no regrets now and I willnever have any regrets. In truth, the only thing that has troubled me sincethat day is the knowledge of how cruelly I have treated you. I gave younothing." His eyes widened when she placed her fingers over his mouth.
"Yougave me honesty. I have known since the day I first met you that you were hereseeking all that birth had denied you. If I hoped to have some part in that, itwas not because you led me to think so. You gave me no false promises, no emptyassurances. No, it was not what I wanted or longed for; but then again, it was.You treated me most fairly."
"Youare too forgiving."
"Notat all. You are just too determined to don a hair shirt."
Hegrinned and hugged her before growing serious again. "I heartily cursedWilliam for each day that I was forced to linger in London. I was never surewhat I feared, yet each day that passed made me even more afraid. I had seenwhat I wanted and I needed to tell you, yet you were not there and I could notpursue you." He brushed the last of her tears from her cheeks. "Youseemed surprised to see me. Did your voice not say that I would be coming afteryou?"
"Yes,but it did not say when or if you would be free. And when it tells me thingsthat I desperately wish to hear, I am not able to trust it."
"Andwhy did you desperately want me to come after you?"
Eadablinked and stared at him. She suddenly realized that, for all of their talkand emotion, neither of them had said the three little words that would easeany lingering doubts and fears. What he had done certainly showed that he lovedher and she was sure that he could sense how she felt, but it was far past timethat they spoke openly about what was in their hearts. She smiled inwardly,prepared to tell him of her love for him, but curious if she could get him todo it first.
"Whydid you refuse an earl's daughter, title, and lands?"
Drogotraced the delicate lines of her face, amused at how timid he suddenly felt,even shy, both feelings he had not suffered since he had been very young. Allthe emotion she had revealed told him that he had nothing to fear, yet hehesitated. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he cupped her small face inhis hands and brushed a kiss over her upturned mouth.
"Idid it because I love you, because I knew that I could never speak my vows toanother woman no matter how weighty her dowry or fair her face. I but regretthat I was so slow to see it and that my ignorance may have served to hurtyou."
"Yousaw it in time and you came to me," she whispered. "Nothing elsematters except that I love you as well, Sir Drogo." She readily acceptedhis fierce kiss, returning it in full.
"Wemust be wed as soon as possible," he said when the kiss ended, his voicehoarse from the strong emotion coursing through him.
"Iwish I had some dowry," she murmured, recalling her lands and suddenly notsure that he would be able to keep them. William would still have to be toldabout them and, despite the high favor in which he held Drogo, it was possiblethat he would have to give her lands to another. "You should not be leftpoor and landless after all you have done."
"Oh,I am not poor and landless; I am now a baron. William gave me your home inPevensey and said that I could lay claim to all you and your family held."He frowned when she suddenly tensed, staring at him with her mouth slightlyagape. "Your mother was not upset by the news, especially when I told herI would claim only what was there when I arrived, that she could keep all shehad fled with. Because she had married Serle and I was hopeful that you wouldmarry me, I saw no harm in accepting," he added, afraid that she was angryand feeling a need to justify himself.
Eadawaved aside his explanations with one sharp gesture of her hand. "Our homewas certain to go to some Norman. I am pleased that it was you. Only one thingyou just said concerns me. William granted you all that I or my family holdsclaim to? Are you certain that he said it just that way, thateverythingwhich is ours is now yours?"
"Yes.I now holdallthat was your family's or yours. All he asked was that Isend him a full accounting when I discover what that is. Did Old Edith grantyou this cottage?"
"Yes,"she replied absently as she picked her chemise up off the floor and tugged iton.
"Whereare you going?" he asked as she hopped out of bed and walked away.
"Doyou remember that small carved chest that I carried with me?" she askedhim as she reverently took the box off its shelf, carried it back to the bed,and held it out to him.
Warily,Drogo took it, frowning as she climbed back onto the bed and wrapped the heavycoverlet around her chilled body. "It was when you finally looked insidethis that you found out Vedette was your foster mother."
Shenodded, her stomach twisting itself into knots as she worried about how hewould react to her news. "There was more than that in that little box. Seefor yourself."
Itwas hard to sit quietly as he carefully looked over everything in the box thenlooked it over again. What made Eada really nervous was the lack of expressionon his face. No matter how good her reasons had been for keeping silent, shehad deceived him. She was not sure how he would judge her.
"Youhave lands," he finally said in a flat, tightly controlled voice."Why did you never tell me?"
"BecauseI wanted you to want only me and not my lands." When he looked at her asif he were having difficulty deciding whether she were mad or an idiot, shecursed softly. "Drogo, from the moment you set your feet on English dirt,you spoke of needing and wanting land. I never told you, but Old Edith saidthat we were fated to be mates." She saw his eyes widen as the ghost of asmile touched his lips and decided with an inner sigh of relief that he was notas angry as she had feared he would be. "I was thinking of fate anddestiny, and you spoke only of lands and wealth. When I realized that I lovedyou, there was still no word from you about what part I might play in your lifeonce the war had ended."
"Eada,I—"
"No,"she said and shook her head, silencing his apologies. "I am neithercondemning you nor blaming you. I am just telling you what was in my mind andmy heart when I decided not to tell you about those lands. As I have said, youwere always honest with me, Drogo, and I never told you any of what I felt, sohow could you have acted upon it?”
"WhenI first learned of Old Edith's bequest, my first thought was to run to you.Then pride and, mayhap, vanity possessed me. I did not wish you to keep me justbecause I had the lands you craved. I wanted some sign from you that I was inyour heart. Do you understand?"
