"Thatwas very rewarding, but it was not what I came here for," he said and thenlaughed when she quirked one delicately arced brow. "Not fully. Why didyou leave London, Eada?"
Shefound his habit of surprising her with blunt questions irritating. "It wasevident that William was eager to marry Saxons to Normans. Saxons were eager tomarry their women to one of the victors. The chance that you might have to takea bride to gain the land you sought was so great that I could not ignoreit."
"Andyour voices told you that I would be offered a bride."
"So,you did speak to my mother," she murmured, shifting closer to his warmthas he combed his fingers through her hair. "Yes, I was told that you wouldbe offered a bride. As is its wont, my voice chose not to tell me whether ornot you would accept that bride."
"Andso you fled?"
"Ifelt that I had no other choice. As you can see, I have a certain weakness foryou—" she ignored his grin, “—and I knew that I could easily becometrapped into being your leman."
"Youwould consider that a trap?"
"Thatis exactly what it would be. The moment I became your leman, all of my otherchoices would be gone. The war made us lovers and, strangely, it made itacceptable to most people. I was a captive in their eyes, and if they gave thematter any thought at all in the midst of all of that death and destruction, itwas only with a touch of sympathy. Once the war was over, once I became a lemanand not a captive, that acceptance would have been pulled away. Then it wouldhave been seen that I had made a choice and that that choice was to be yourwhore, to be a partner in adultery. I would see myself in the same way and Iwould find that very hard to bear. It is almost funny. I would stay because ofthis great passion we share, yet eventually, it would be that passion whichwould destroy me."
"Itwas that same fear that made your mother reluctant to tell me where you hadgone," he said, as he touched a kiss to her forehead. "I wish I couldsay that I would never have asked that of you, but that weakness you speak ofis a shared one."
"Andwas I right? Were you offered a wife?"
"Yes,and a very fine one, too," he replied as he sprawled on his back and crossedhis arms beneath his head. "She was fair, had a firm, full shape and abecoming modesty."
Eadaslowly sat up, clutching the coverlet to her breasts, and frowned down at him,fighting a touch of jealousy. "If she was such a beauty, where isshe?"
"Rightnow she is probably on her father's vast lands becoming acquainted with her newhusband."
"Vastlands? You were offered vast lands?"
"Anearldom." He grinned at her look of astonishment, a look that closelymatched Godwin's.
"Youare an earl?" she asked in confusion.
"No.The title of earl only came if I wed the woman, and I said no."
Sherubbed her forehead as she struggled to understand what he was telling her."You refused William when he offered you an earl's seat with all of thelands, wealth, and power that goes with it?"
"Andthe woman. Do not forget the woman. I could not accept one without theother."
Theamused look on his face began to annoy her. "Why do you not just tell meall that happened in your meeting with the king. This conversation has becomeso confusing that I have an aching head."
Helaughed but told her about his meeting with William. Eada could not believe it.William had offered Drogo everything he had fought for, far more than he couldhave ever hoped for, yet Drogo had said no. It was clear that he had said nobecause he did not want to marry the woman. Eada was almost afraid to guesswhat that meant.
"WasWilliam angry that you refused him?" she asked quietly, a stab of fearbriefly pushing aside her other concerns.
"No.He expected it. At first, I feared that I would insult him by turning asidesuch a generous gift, but then I saw the amusement on his face. He was notsurprised and said his only regret was that, at that time, he had nothing elseto offer me."
"Soyou got nothing?"
Eadawas torn between elation and utter dismay. It truly appeared that Drogo haddone exactly what she had convinced herself he would never do. That made herheart pound so hard and fast it was almost painful. What upset her was theenormity of what he had turned aside. It also frightened her. If he had refusedsuch a wealthy prize for love of her, would it become a poison that wouldfinally kill that love?
"Drogo,why?" she asked before he could answer her first question. "It wasall you had fought for; it was why you came here; why you risked dying in astrange land."
Hesat up slowly, grasped her by the shoulders, and kissed her. "Eada, mysweet, when William offered me that woman as my bride, I knew only one thingfor certain. I could not bind myself to another woman. She could have held thecrown in her soft, white hands and I would still have had to say no."
Sheplaced her unsteady hand over his heart and prayed that she continue torestrain the tears that were choking her. "But to cast aside so much—"
"Thecost was too high. Eada, I could not take the woman. I knew, at that verymoment, that I could only pledge myself to one woman and no other." Hesmiled when she fell into his arms, but his smile faded when he felt thedampness of her tears on his chest. "This makes you weep?"
"Itmakes me afraid."
