Brian stared at the door Callum shut behind him and sighed. He supposed he would feel the same if it was one of his cousins. Callum and Arianna had also been close when they were children. Even he had seen what good friends they were once he had gotten past his jealousy.
He sat down at his worktable and dragged his hands through his hair. This was going to be hard but he had to do it. He was healed enough now, after three long weeks, that he was finding it very difficult not to drag Arianna into his bed and make love to her until they were both too weak to even twitch a finger. If she did not leave Scarglas soon he would be doing just that and that would be wrong. A man did not make love to a woman and then turn around and tell her to leave. The trouble was that the need for her was growing so strong he just might sink that low.
He was searching his mind for the right words to say, ones that would carry no taint of rejection, when she stepped into the room and smiled at him. Brian wondered how such a sweet smile could make him feel so wretched. He knew she cared for him but wondered how much of that was because he had been so much kinder to her than any of the Lucettes and had helped her save the boys. A part of him wanted to hear her tell him how she felt about him but he knew that would be cruel because he would still have to let her go.
It did not surprise him when her smile began to fade and her steps slowed as she approached him. Callum had guessed what he was going to do today and she was nearly as astute. It puzzled him that doing the right thing, the honorable thing, should be making him feel like the worst of heartless bastards.
“Arianna, I have been meaning to talk to ye,” he said.
Arianna stopped a foot away from his desk and clasped her hands in front of her skirts. There was a look in his fine eyes that was easy to read. He was going to send her home, just as he had always said he would. The fact that he looked sad about that did not ease the pain of it at all. She kept her hands clasped tightly so that she did not give in to the urge to either cling to him or grab something heavy and beat him over the head with it.
“About what?” she asked.
“Weel, first, let me tell ye what Lord Ignace wrote. I received his missive just today.” He proceeded to tell her nearly everything the man had said even as a voice in his head scoffed at him for this pathetic attempt to delay doing what he had to do.
The news concerning the boys both pleased and worried her. They were safe for now but the future could bring problems. Arianna wondered why he was bothering telling her this because he must have just told Callum, who would be sure to tell her. He did not need to waste time before breaking her heart. Now that she knew what he was about to do, she really just wanted him to get it over and done with.
“Weel, that is good news. For now. There may be trouble later, however,” she said.
“Callum and I are aware of that, and everyone will be alert. I believe Lord Ignace will be sure to send us word, too, especially if he gains from the wine trade with us.”
“Of course. So, is that all?” She desperately wanted this over with as she was nearly shaking with pain and anger.
Brian cleared his throat and clasped his hands together on the top of his worktable. He wished she were not looking at him as if he was about to draw his sword and lop off her head. She had to know that this was best for her.
“I want to thank ye for all the care ye took of me while I was healing from my wounds.”
“Ye got those wounds fighting for my laddies.”
“Ah, weel, aye. And ye. But, I am healed now and your family is eager to see ye. So, I have arranged for an escort for ye and the boys for the ride to your family. Callum and Uven are preparing to leave with ye, too. It was my greatest honor to have been of help to ye in your time of need. If ye e’er need help again ...”
“I will ask it of my family. Now, if ye will kindly excuse me, it appears I have packing to do and fare-weels to give.”
He watched her walk out of the office and had to bite his lip to keep from calling her back. Brian did not think he would ever be able to forget her expression as he had so politely thanked her and wished her well. She had looked both devastated and furious.
For a moment he had almost leapt up to take her in his arms and try to soothe the pain he sensed he had inflicted. That would have been the greatest folly and he knew it. Once he had her in his arms he would not have been able to let her go. It was one reason he had not made love to her despite having been able to and wanting to for at least a sennight.
“I did the right thing,” he said aloud.
He poured himself a tankard of ale and wondered if he had enough so that he could just hide in this room and get stinking drunk until she was long gone. It could be the only way he stopped himself from running after her. Considering the way she had looked at him, if he did run after her, he would probably also have to get down on his knees and beg her forgiveness. Getting drunk was less painful.
Chapter 20
“What are ye doing?”
“Packing,” replied Arianna without looking at Fiona. “I am nearly done and then I will go and help my boys pack all their things.”
“May I ask why?” Fiona sat on the bed and watched Arianna fold a gown with far too much care.
“’Tis time to leave, or so I was told. Time to return to my family and the life that I deserve because I was born to it. Somehow my birth demands that I marry only certain men and live only in a type of untold luxury that my parents have ne’er enjoyed and ...”
Arianna grabbed the gown she had just packed and threw it across the room. That felt so good that she rapidly did the same with everything she had packed until all her clothing was scattered from one end of the room to the other. Cursing softly, she sat down on the bed and glared at the floor.
“Feel better?” Fiona asked as she pushed the saddle packs aside and moved closer to Arianna.
“Nay, not much, and now I shall have to do my packing all over again.”
“Brian told ye to leave, did he?”
