“Such sweet words,” she muttered. It was not going to be easy to stay with a man who had locked himself away.
“I am not a man for sweet words. If ‘tis a swain of flatteries and constant declarations that ye seek, then ye are looking in the wrong direction.”
“Nay, I expect nothing. I begin to fear that ye have no more to give save for your lusts. I have already asked ye for words, spoke my thoughts clearly, and got only a cold stare as I left. Well, ye have shown me that I still crave the one thing ye do offer freely. So I shall take it.”
Alexander wondered briefly why he did not feel far more victorious. “Then ye shall return to my bed.”
“Aye, but I will make one demand.”
“But I have just told ye—“
“No need to run, my timid lover. I dinna ask for any more than common courtesy. Ye will cease to spit your anger at me. I have done ye no wrong, and I deeply resent being punished for sins I havena committed.”
He grimaced and dragged his fingers through his hair. “I ken it. ‘Tis just that I find it hard to forget that ye are a MacFarlane.” He eased himself off her and sat at her side.
“I dinna ask ye to forget that. ‘Tis what I am.” She sat up and tried to put some order back into her tangled clothing. “However, I dinna have to account for the sins of my kinsmen at every turn. That cold disdain causes me shame. The sneer and the insult ye would heap upon me that made me feel like a whore. ‘Tis the cold disrespect ye showed me whenever we were out of bed that made me leave what we could share in bed. I willna be treated that way. I dinna deserve to be treated that way.”
“Nay, ye dinna.”
“So, ‘tis agreed? I will return to your bed, but only for as long as ye treat me with courtesy in and out of the bedchamber?”
When she held out her hand, he shook it. “Agreed. Ye will have that courtesy for as long as ye remain at Rathmor.”
“Ye couldna resist adding that, could ye?” she mumbled as she stood up and brushed off her clothes.
“ ‘Tis but the truth.” Alexander stood up, picked up her cloak, and draped it around her shoulders.
“Aye, and one should never shirk from the truth.”
As she started toward the path that would lead her back into the keep itself, Ailis nearly laughed. There was a strange twisted humor in the way Alexander acted. He could not seem to pull her back to his bed fast enough, but that was enough to scare him, so he reminded her that she would have to be leaving some day. She could not help but wonder if the man needed to remind himself.
He quickly fell into step at her side, and she covertly watched him. His every movement was graceful. The man could set a thousand lasses’ hearts aflutter with just a smile. He could seduce any woman with just a few soft words spoken in his deep, sensuous voice or a warm glance from his beautiful eyes. Ailis was certain that even the most saintly of women would have at least a passing thought about how it would be to share his bed. And yet, he guarded himself. The man feared his own emotions, feared more hurt and grief. It was endearing, even hopeful, for such fears proved he had a heart, but it was also frustrating. Yet again she could be paying dearly for something that was not her fault.
“Are ye already changing your mind?” Alexander asked as they entered the keep.
Ailis suddenly realized that her steps had slowed as she had sunk into her thoughts. She could sense a tension in Alexander, could see a look of stubbornness upon his face. He thought she was about to refuse to go back to his bed, and he was trying to think of a way to get her there without making any demands or promises. She was almost tempted to let him try.
“Nay. I am not changing my mind.” She was stopped from saying any more when Jaime and Kate stepped out of the great hall. “Ah, Jaime, how do ye fare? I havena seen much of ye lately.”
“I have been helping Mistress Kate prepare for the winter. Ye seem well, Mistress Ailis,” Jaime murmured.
“Aye, well enough, considering that I must endure MacDubhs day in and day out.” She ignored Alexander’s frown, and it was as she did so that she realized Jaime and Kate were holding hands and blushing faintly. “Off ye go, then. Dinna become a stranger,” she added, then immediately felt ashamed of her twinge of jealousy.
“Nay, I never could.”
After Jaime and Kate murmured good sleep and disappeared toward the kitchen, Ailis sighed and started up the stairs toward the upper chambers. Jaime was in love with Kate. The man could not hide it even if he knew how to be discreet. Ailis tried not to worry about him, to discard the matter as being Jaime’s business and none of hers, but she found that impossible. Jaime was, in many ways, like a child. She could no more stop worrying about him than she could about the twins or Sibeal. Even knowing in her heart that Kate was a decent, kind woman did not help. She needed some reassurance, and as they reached the door to Alexander’s bedchamber, she turned to him.
Alexander saw the frown on her face and reacted immediately. He picked her up in his arms, carried her into his chamber, and bolted the door behind him. In a few quick strides he reached his bed, gently dropping her down onto it, and then pinned her there with his body.
“I suppose ye think this is romantic,” Ailis said, her voice muffled by her cloak as Alexander struggled to take it off without completely releasing her. When he reached for the lacing on her bodice, she caught hold of his hands. “I should like to ask ye a question before ye continue to try and smother me with my own clothes.”
He easily extracted his hands from hers and began to unlace her bodice again, but slowly. “What is the question?”
“Let me say this first—I believe that Kate is a fine lass, but ye have kenned her for far longer than I, so ye would be a better judge than I. Also ‘tisna as simple a matter as it ought to be. What I need to ken is—is Kate quite serious in how she acts toward Jaime? I mean, is she the sort to be intrigued because he is different, then discard him when that becomes a burden?” She grimaced. “No matter how I ask this, it isna kind to her, is it?”
“Nay, it isna.”
“Well, I canna help it. Jaime is like a wounded child. He was cruelly treated by the closest of his kinsmen—his own father and brothers. I dinna think anything can cut a person deeper than that. He is such a big, strong man, yet inside he is soft and so easily hurt. He has never been any woman’s choice of courtier, although a few have tugged him into bed or the nearest hayloft to see if he is big all over. He would be so badly hurt—“
Alexander lightly kissed her, relieved that she was not about to change her mind and want to leave. “Jaime is the first man our Kate has ever shown an interest in. I shouldna worry about him.” He shook his head. “I should have guessed that ye were frowning over your mighty protector.”
“What did ye think I was frowning about?” Ailis then recalled their unusual entrance into the room and especially the bolting of the door. “Ye thought I was about to say nay again.” When he looked fleetingly guilty, she cursed and shook her head. “If I do naught else whilst I am here, I would much like to prove to ye that not every woman is so fickle of mind—or heart.”
He stared at her for a long moment before replying, “I think I would like that,” and he kissed her before she could say any more.
