“Aye, t’would be nice.”
“Oh, verra weel then.”
“A most grudging forgiveness but sincere for all that.” She met Giorsal’s glare with a smile.
Artair laughed softly as he stood to leave. “The time for the wedding must draw near. I will go to see if I can be of any help.”
“Ye forgive verra easily,” Giorsal said as soon as Artair was gone. “I dinnae think I would do so.”
“He means to change and now sees that he acted wrongly. I couldnae reward that by refusing to understand and to forgive. If naught else, I couldnae bear to be the one to hinder his changing. If he returned to the alehouses and whorehouses to wallow in that filth, I would always wonder if t’was my inability to forgive that caused him to stumble. Right now he needs the strength friendship can give.”
“Aye, ye are right in that. Come now, ’tis time to dress for your wedding.” She took Aimil by the hand and urged her to her feet.
“Ah, so the time does indeed draw near.”
“Ye dinnae look as happy as I thought ye would be. Dinnae ye wish to wed Parlan?”
“Aye, I do but I do not. There shines a contrary nature, eh?” She tried to smile but felt sure it was a miserable effort.
“A troubled nature to be certain. Come, ye can tell me all that frets ye as I help ye dress, and I shall tell ye what a foolish, wee lass ye are.”
“I think I have been told that quite enough, thank ye kindly.” Aimil shed her robe.
“Clearly ye havenae been listening or ye wouldnae be so dowie when ye are soon to get what I ken weel ye want.”
“Does my back look verra unsightly?”
“Nay, it doesnae as I am certain ye ken weel. Dinnae try to divert me. Talk, child. ’Tis the best way.”
Aimil knew that was true. She simply was not sure of how to explain all that troubled her. As Giorsal helped her dress, she struggled to find the right words, words that would make Giorsal understand her worries and fears.
“I do want to be Parlan’s wife. ’Tis something I have wanted for a verra long time. ’Tis just that I wished him to ask me for reasons other than what sets in my womb. He weds me because I carry his heir.”
“To get an heir is the reason most men wed. If t’was allowed, I wouldnae be surprised if most of them waited to stand before a priest until their seed took root in some woman’s belly.”
“Most likely that is true, but ’tis not why I wish to be stood before a priest.”
“Did Parlan say t’was naught but the bairn that he was wedding ye for?”
“Weel, nay.”
“What did he say?”
“He said I was the first to carry his bairn, that he was always careful in the past to keep his seed from taking root. He said he didnae want to take such care with me, that he liked and trusted me. No lover’s vows those.”
“Mayhaps not in your eyes but ’tis no small thing for a man to feel so for a woman. Some wives never gain as much.”
“I ken it. It doesnae stop me from wanting more though. I am friend and lover to him and weel I ken the value of that. Though I curse myself for a greedy, ungrateful wretch, I still want more.”
“Ye want him to love ye, love ye as ye love him and that is a lot, isnae it, Aimil?” Giorsal gently bade Aimil to sit down and began to brush out her hair.
“I never said so.”
“Nay, not plainly but it shone through each word whenever ye spoke of Parlan. I kenned it from the first.”
“Do ye think Parlan has seen it?” Aimil was dismayed by the thought that her feelings could be so easily read.
“Most likely not. Men can be verra blind about such things. Och, listen to me. So can women. Look at me. I ken now that Iain has loved me from the start, but I never heeded it. I see only now, after all the years we have been together, what he has shown me so clearly in all he did. I had to discover my own love for him before I saw his love for me, before he even dared speak it aloud.”
