Seeing that the fear in Artair’s expression was only mildly lessened, Parlan desperately sought some other tact. “Here now, Artair, ye havenae coldly murdered some innocent have ye?”
“Nay.” There was a hint of outrage in Artair’s voice.
“Aye, and ye have no thought to do so. Rory has. He was younger than ye when he murdered Kirstie Mengue. I would-nae be surprised to find that there were other deaths or near ones before that. I ken weel there were others after that. His kin or his man, Geordie, kept the truth weel hid. I would wager there were other signs of his madness, things to indicate the seed of it and more as the seed flowered. Aye, ye have been a woe at times, but there has never been any real meanness in ye.”
“But ye said that to ignore a lass’s nays and to strike a woman is wrong.”
“Aye, wrong and I heavily disapprove, but as I said ye do no more than many another man. ’Tis legal for a man to beat his wife yet I think one who does try to rule his woman with his fist isnae much of a man. There is no honor in beating one who cannae really stop ye though they might try. And, I dinnae see it as my right to take a woman as I please or where I please. So too have I seen what rape and brutality can do to a lass and ’tisnae right. Ye willnae find a lot that agree with me though.”
“Nay, but I begin to. I have”—he took a deep breath and faced Parlan squarely—“weel, I have recognized the folly of wallowing in drink and the stews. There is naught there for me but the pox or death. I dinnae want to say I have had some sense beaten into me but, in a way, I have. I couldnae drink, ye ken, and being without it made me think a lot on what I have been doing.”
“’Tis glad I am to hear this though, I dinnae quite understand why ye say ye couldnae drink. There is plenty about.”
“Aye, but it wasnae brought anywhere near my chambers. Malcolm and Lagan, aye, even Leith, felt it best if I suffered a clear head for a wee while. I wasnae too pleased at first but I ken they intended only good. I sorely wanted to drown in it too when I began to think too clearly and too much, when I began to see what a useless fool I have been acting.”
He shrugged and attempted a smile. “I but came to say that I mean to change. T’will take some time, I ken, if only to gain some respect from the people here. I ken that I lost whatever I had by my own actions so I must win it back on my own.”
Deeply moved and feeling hopeful for the first time in far too long, Parlan heartily embraced his brother. “Ye ken that I am willing to help in any way that I can.”
“Aye, but I also ken that this is mostly my own fight. Weel,” Artair said, smiling faintly as Parlan released him, “that is that chore done. Now I have but one more to do.” Grimacing, he jested weakly, “Best I see to it whilst I still feel ready to be humble and to confess to fault and errors.”
Parlan grinned briefly, then asked, “What is it?”
“I must yet seek Aimil’s forgiveness.”
Aimil sighed and stared into the flames of the fire. She found it tedious to sit alone, waiting for the heat of the fire to dry her newly-washed hair. When a rap came at the door of her chambers, she eagerly bade the visitor enter only to frown slightly when she saw that it was Artair. There had been whispers of a change in him, but she was not sure she wished to be alone with the young man. Although, for Parlan’s sake, she had tried to dismiss it she could not forget that he had intended, at one point, to beat and to rape her. To have him near when she was alone and wearing only a robe unsettled her.
“I am quite sober,” he murmured as he approached her, “and I swear I willnae touch ye.”
Determined to give him a chance since he was Parlan’s only close kin, she indicated the other stool before the fire. “Sit down.”
Somewhat stiffly he did so. “I have come to ask forgiveness for my attack upon ye.”
“Ye were drunk, verra fou, in truth.”
“Aye, but I cannae hide behind that any longer. I will confess that it took me some time to see what I had done as wrong. To me, ye were naught but some captive, and I could do as I wished. Beyond that, ye were also just a lass. I believed the ones who called Parlan a soft-hearted fool for his beliefs about how women should be treated. Few think as he does. Weel, now I see the right of his thinking. A lass has a right to say nay, and ’tis naught but a weakness in a man to use his greater strength over the weaker to bend them to his will. ’Tis a strong man who kens when not to use his fists.”
“Then ye have learned a great deal and, aye, ye have my forgiveness. I give it fully and easily.”
“Ye say that because ’tis what ye think will please Parlan.”
“In part, aye. What I did because ye are Parlan’s only brother, his nearest kin, was to let ye speak to me at all. ’Tis for Parlan that ye even got inside the door. The rest is my own doing. I wasnae but mouthing words for Parlan’s ears but from the heart.”
“Then I thank ye—from the heart. ’Tis a comfort to ken that I willnae be starting this change in my ways with what little kin I do have set against me. I think t’will be quite hard enough as it is.”
“Change is never easy. Ye have seen your weaknesses and your errors. That is the hardest step to take. Have ye spoken to Parlan?”
“Aye, and it proved a two-edged sword. I was pleased to make him happy yet to see how happy simply speaking of changing made him caused me to see how unhappy I have made him in the past. I was keenly aware of how I had failed him.”
“Weel, he is happy now and that is what matters most. Ye cannae brood too long upon the past. ’Tis the future ye must look to. To think too long on what ye could have done or should have done will take time better used to see what ye must do now.”
Before he could make any reply, a rap came at the chamber door. When Aimil bid the person to enter, she had to bite back a smile. Giorsal entered with a big smile on her face only to stop and glare at Artair who smiled crookedly.
“Ye told her.”
“Aye, Artair, I did and now I will tell her that all is forgiven.” She looked sternly at Giorsal.
“And I am to fall into step with that?” Giorsal moved to stand next to Aimil.
