“There,” she said, looking around when she was done.“Much less like a shrine now.”
Time for the third prong.
Claire went upstairs to her bedroom and sat on her side of the bed.She closed her eyes, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth like an athlete, and readied herself.She then opened her eyes.They burned with unshed tears.
Maybe she could allow herself just a few.
As the tears fell, she removed her wedding rings.Holding them for a moment, fingering the smooth bands of gold and sparkly diamonds, she said a different sort of goodbye.She then placed them in her bedside table, in a little jewelry store box, and shut the drawer.Her finger looked so bare and there was a funny little indentation where the rings had been.She sat there for a while, staring at the closed drawer, uncertain what to do next.
When the doorbell rang, at about ten-thirty in the morning, she almost didn’t notice it.But the chime roused her out of her funk, forcing energy into her limbs so she could walk downstairs.
Maybe one of the weekend volunteers had an issue at the sanctuary.Of course, they usually just called her.They didn’t tend to walk over to the farmhouse.
Wiping her eyes, Claire opened the front door.
Nick stood there, agitation making his shoulders tight.He ran a hand through his hair.“Hi.”
“Hi.”Only then did Claire realize he was in his work clothes from yesterday.That, and the fact that his face was chalky.“Did you go home last night?”
He shook his head.“I’ve been driving all night long.Most of it, anyway.I spent about half an hour at a highway rest stop at about four in the morning.Just me and the truckers.”
“Oh my God, come in.”She held open the door for him.“Sit down.I’ll get you a coffee and some toast.”
“That sounds great.Thanks.”He toed off his work boots at the entrance and walked into the living room.He sat on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees.Clenching his hands together, he stared at the floor.
Something was seriously wrong.Keeping a close eye on him from the kitchen, Claire poured him a cup of black coffee.She brought it over.“Here.”
He nodded in thanks, and took several large gulps, wincing at the heat.“It’s good.”
She went back to the kitchen and buttered the toast.After handing him the plate, she sat next to him.“Nick, what’s wrong?”
He took a few bites and swallowed.She didn’t press him.He must be hungry.
After he finished the first slice of toast, he wrapped his hands around the coffee mug again, as if trying to absorb all its heat.“I…I shouldn’t be here.I’m sorry.”He put the mug down on the side table and stood.
Claire grabbed his hand.“Don’t go.Please.Talk to me.”
He sat down again.“It’s going to sound stupid.”
“Nick.It wasn’t all that long ago that I told you my dead husband was talking to me.Believe me, nothing you have to say will sound stupid.”
“Okay.”He looked her in the eye.“Yesterday, Lacey told me she has a new job.She won’t be the director on my new show after all.After she told me, I fucking freaked out.Lacey taught me everything I know about the TV business.How am I supposed to do this without her?I’m going to fail, Claire.I’m going to have another very public failure.I can already see the comments.HashtagNickSucksorHashtagNickFail.”
She drew closer and rubbed his knee.Tingles shot up her arm at the contact.“You’re not going to fail.Why would you even think that?”
“I guess I haven’t exactly felt like the epitome of success lately.”
“Nick, put all that crap with Kristy behind you for a second.Look at your life.It’s a good one.You’ve run your own business.”
“With my brothers.”
“You’ve hosted a popular TV show.”
“With my brothers.”
“You even have a band.”
“With my brothers.Claire, what if people just aren’t interested in me without Michael and Eli?”
