He went into the washroom in the hallway, disposed of the condom and cleaned himself up.Maybe they could cuddle for a while, and he could figure out what was going through her head, to say nothing of his.
When he returned to the spare bedroom, Claire was sitting up and putting on her underwear.She slipped her dress on over it, but didn’t zip it up completely.It was just a cover, a shield.
All of a sudden, his imaginary wave crashed down on him.He could almost taste the saltwater as it filled his lungs.
“You’re already dressed.”
She paled as she turned to face him.Her faraway look had changed into something darker, something that hinted at regret.
So much for cuddling.
“Are you okay, Claire?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.I just noticed the time.Tomorrow’s a work day, and you still have to drive home.I don’t want to keep you.”
Even though his ego smarted from the old heave-ho, his brain understood she had her reasons.
He was the first man she’d slept with since Arthur.Even though she’d been free and open in bed, maybe she hadn’t been as ready as she’d thought.Could she really regret it so soon?The lines of uncertainty in her face looked a lot like guilt.Whatever it was, she obviously needed some time to process it.“Sure.I don’t want to get in your way.”
“You’re not.It’s just…a lot to take in.”Her eyes pleaded with him to understand.
“It’s okay.”Nick got dressed as quickly as he could, hoping his jerky movements didn’t come off as anger.He wasn’t angry.If anything, that scraping sensation on his insides felt a lot like hurt.Still, even though his pride was taking a hit, it was likely nothing compared to whatever Claire was experiencing.“This doesn’t have to be anything you don’t want it to be.We had a great night.I appreciate you being patient with me.”
This time, she was the one who seemed tongue-tied.Her mouth opened and closed a couple of times.
Not sure what else to say, he went downstairs.She followed him to the door.
He opened it and turned to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek.“Good night, Claire.Sleep well.”
“You too.”
Only, as Nick left, there was one thing he knew for certain.
He wouldn’t sleep a wink tonight.
Something told him she might not either.
Chapter Fourteen
The first thing Claire saw the next morning was Arthur’s face.She rolled over in bed, opened her eyes, and there he was.The photo on the bedside table looked the same as it always did, yet somehow, she glimpsed a new shadow in the pic.It hung around him, like a cloak of disappointment.
It was probably just the way the light was hitting the frame.She nudged it, but the shadow remained.
Claire Bear, how could you forget me so easily?
She had, too.For a few moments, she had forgotten him.However, as soon as the deed was done, it had all come flooding back to her.It had taken everything in her not to roll into a ball and start crying after screwing Nick.
It hadn’t all been because of guilt, either.
It was mostly because he’d made her feel so good.She’d abandoned all her concerns and had allowed herself to just enjoy sex again.It had been sheer bliss for a while, but it had all come crashing back down like an abandoned house in front of the wrecking ball.
After Nick had left, she’d gone back to bed, her own bed.Arthur’s imaginary reprimands had begun then.They’d lasted all night long, too.As a result, she’d barely slept.
She couldn’t understand why it was happening.When she’d gone on those other dates, she hadn’t been tormented like this.Of course, she hadn’t cared for those guys and she definitely hadn’t slept with them.
But she cared for Nick, probably more than she was willing to admit.
She knew Arthur’s voice was a complete fabrication.There was no way he was admonishing her from the grave.It was all in her head.Arthur would never have spoken to her like that anyway.If anything, he was the one who’d helped her lose her inhibitions in bed.He had been a wonderful lover.He’d been generous and was always willing to talk about what they liked and didn’t like.He’d loved life, period, and had always dedicated himself to making her feel special.
