He drew dangerously close. His voice was deep and soft on her ear. “You can have them. You can have anything you want. I’ll get it for you.”
“Don’t you understand? I neverwantedyou to get me things. I just wanted to know you, to see where things might go. But we’ve become addicted to each other. You’ve avoided your work. I’ve avoided my life. I don’t even have a fucking job! We’ve just lived in a bubble with each other. It’s not healthy.”
He grabbed her hand and dragged her into a quiet alcove, away from the main entrance. “I don’t care if it’s healthy or not.”
“Don’t you get it? I’m your new Michelle. I’m your crutch, and you’ve become mine.”
Liam’s mouth fell open.
“I never wanted to be that for you. I want to be something better.”
He pulled her to him and lay his forehead against hers. “You are the best thing I’ve ever known.” His fingers clawed against her back, his nails dug into her clothing. He held on as if he was gripping a life preserver. “I can’t let you go.”
“You’d keep me here against my will?”
He looked at her, eyes tragic yet wild. “What do you think I am? A fucking maniac? I just want to love you,” he cried out. “Kate, I love you.”
Oh. There they were. The words that would echo in her brain and sear her as she walked away. But she had to do this, for both of them.
“You don’t love me, Liam. We don’t know each other well enough. You haven’t let me get close enough to really know you.” There, she said it, even though it made her heart break.
He drew her in and smashed his mouth against hers, thrusting his tongue between her lips and nearly destroyed her resolve.
“I know everything about you,” he said. “I’ve seen your fears and your dreams. I’ve seen your quirks. I know you cover your mouth with your hand when you chew your food. I know you always tie the left shoe before the right. I know how you play with your hair when you’re nervous. I know what makes you laugh and what makes you cry. I know how your body curls into mine when we sleep. I know how to make you whimper with need and how to make your body sing with joy. I know all the important things.” He stroked her cheek, his touch more gentle now, but no less desperate. “And the rest I can learn. You’re not my crutch, Kate. You’re my hope.”
Oh, Jesus, keep me strong.The tears broke free and he took turns wiping and kissing them away. She wanted to believe him, to believe their love wasn’t sick.
Rock bottom. Her words came back to haunt her. She hated rock fucking bottom.
Who was she kidding? Their affair was doomed from the start. She should never have set foot inside Liam’s office. She’d seen his tattered heart and had wanted to put it back together. He’d glimpsed her bruised soul and had hidden her away. She’d felt like Cinderella with him, but really she was no better than a two-bit Rapunzel, locked away in a tower.
They enabled each other. Their love was like a Vegas casino, bright and lively on the outside, but cloaked in darkness, heedless of time and responsibility. They’d reveled in each other, forgetting the outside world, rather than learning how to function in it.
They couldn’t really love each other unless they learned to stand on their own first. She needed to let him go and stop hiding. She needed to hurt him.
Hopefully it wouldn’t kill her in the process.
“We’re not good for each other, Liam. I can’t be with you.” She waved her hand, indicating the walls of his casino. “This was never the life I wanted. I lost track of my values. I can’t stay. I’ll never be able to separate you from what you do. Every meal we eat, I’ll see it as coming out of someone else’s pocket. Every dollar you spend on me, I’ll see it as draining some poor kid’s college fund.”
“Kate, don’t do this.”
“You think I want to? I can’t look at you and not see Vice. And no matter how much soul-searching I do, I won’t be able to stop it.” When he moved to brush away her fresh tears, she pushed his hand aside and wiped them herself. “It’s time for me to go home.”
His face drained. “I won’t be able… I can’t function without you.”
“I know, but I think we both need to learn how.”
He played with her pinky finger, as if holding onto whatever he could. “What about Vaughan?”
“I’ll manage. I did before.” She pulled her hand out of his. “Goodbye, Liam.”
He didn’t answer, but grew paler. She turned and sprinted for the taxi bay before she flew to him, trying to take everything back. She didn’t have any of her things, only her purse. The rest she’d ask for later. She couldn’t go into his suite to collect them now, or she’d never come out again.
The taxi driver opened the back door and she got inside, barely managing to give the man her address. The driver closed the door and she sat still, waiting for him to start the engine. She didn’t look at Liam, but expected him to run up to the car and bang on the window.
He didn’t.
As the driver pulled away, she gave into temptation and turned to look for him.
