“Thissituationhas a name. Say it with me. Premature ovarian failure.”
His lips compressed.
“You can’t say it, can you?”
“If I thought we had options, baby, I’d be all in, but you heard what Doctor Batra said. Only a small percentage of women like you can conceive.”
Women like you.
Did this make her a different category of woman?
Tommy continued. “Even IVF is a crap shoot, and I just don’t think I want to go down the road of adoption.”
“What’s wrong with adoption?”
“Nothing, but I want a child of my own.”
“Any child we adoptedwouldbe our own.”
Their friends Ginger and Maria had recently adopted a little boy, and if anyone dared to tell them they weren’t “real mothers,” or that Glen wasn’t their “real son,” they might very well get a fist in the face.
Only this wasn’t about Ginger and Maria.
Dana understood Tommy was coming from a different place, she really did. He was desperate for a family. Having grown up an only child, he’d been honest from day one about wanting to raise a sizable horde.I don’t want our child to feel lonely like I did growing up. I want to have at least three kids. As a parent, I want to be totally outnumbered.
His enthusiasm for family had been infectious. He’d always made Dana laugh when he talked about taking their gaggle of children on outings and trips.
She just had no idea he’d made a distinction between children.
In fairness, she’d never really considered adoption either. She’d just always assumed pregnancy would happen.
“I love you and I would like nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, but we need to be honest here. I’ve always been clear about what I want from life.”
“And it’s not awoman like me.”
“I want to do the right thing. I want to support you. Believe me, I do, but I don’t think I have what it takes to go through this. All those things the doctor was talking about…I can’t face it. I’m not strong enough, Dana. In some ways, I think you’ve always been the strong one.”
He wasn’t far off the mark. There had been times when she’d doubted Tommy’s fortitude. Even at her grandmother’s funeral, he’d been the one to fall apart. Dana had been the one to greet the mourners, the one who’d kept her head. And when she’d looked to him at the end of that exhausting day, hoping to cry on his shoulder for a while, he’d disappeared. She’d found him outside the funeral home, avoiding the situation with a couple of her idiot cousins.
She’d ignored that red flag, even though it had waved at her like the flagman at the stock car races.
Was she supposed to be the brave one now too? Was this what brave felt like? This sense of repugnant inevitability?
“I’m scared I’ll have regrets. I’m scared I might resent you ten years down the road.”
“You’re just scared, period.”
He turned his cheek as if he’d been slapped. When his pale skin reddened, she fancied she could see the imprint of her fingers. If she thought it would make her feel any better, she’d slap him silly.
“It’s true,” he admitted in a small voice. “I wish I was a better man for you. I wish I could say this won’t create a wedge between us, but I know it will.”
For the first time in her life, Dana was unsure of what to do next. She’d always been the steady one, the one who had her life carved out. So far, she’d followed it to a tee.
She’d gone to college on a full scholarship, had done a Bachelor of Commerce, specializing in hospitality and tourism. She’d landed a plum job with the tourism board right out of college and had moved up the ranks.
It hadn’t been easy either. As a Black woman, she’d had to contend with her share of good old boys, most of them very old and very white. However, she’d built a reputation on being a solid worker and she was now responsible for booking some of the biggest conventions to Las Vegas.
When she’d met Tommy Parker, falling in love with his deep voice and Jason Statham looks, she’d known they would build a life together.
