She glanced at Connor again.
His mountain lion snarled, showing its displeasure with his sulking.Lloyd wants us to dance with Elaine. Why are we standing here?
That was thing about spirit animals. They felt no conflict. Everything was black or white to them.
As much as Connor wanted to throw caution to the wind and obey his hedonistic mountain lion’s call, he gave in to his human side. And he had never felt more torn.
* * * *
When the next set of slow songs began, Elaine didn’t even look in Connor’s direction. He clearly wasn’t in the mood to dance with her, never mind talk to her. Since he’d absconded to the bar, she’d tried a couple of times to entice him out onto the floor again, but each time he’d made an excuse.
She’d upset him earlier, and the knowledge made her stomach turn.
However, although her bear urged her to seek him out again, she refrained. The bear might not possess any pride, but Elaine did. She wouldn’t beg any man for a dance and certainly not Connor Church.
She made her way over to Lia and Ryland’s table. Lia, at eight months pregnant, had sat out most of the dances. Ryland, her devoted mate, sat with her. They’d gotten up once or twice for the slow songs. Each time, Elaine had watched, rapt.
Ryland had held Lia gently in his arms so as not to cause her any discomfort. They’d moved slowly, lost in each other. He caressed her protruding belly. She rested her head on his shoulder.
Love shone all around them.
As much as Elaine had enjoyed watching her friends, her pain had resurfaced. It had been a good evening so far, aside from her bizarre tension with Connor. But when she saw Lia and Ryland dancing, it brought back memories of Lloyd.
Each time they’d learned she was pregnant, Lloyd had been so happy. She would never forget the wonder in his brown eyes, the gratitude and joy.
She missed him so much.
She couldn’t even wallow properly in her grief when Connor stood at the bar, glaring at her. What was his problem anyway?
Elaine plunked herself down next to Lia. “Mind if I join you?”
“Of course, not.” Lia glanced at Connor. “Not dancing?”
“I need a break.”
“Are you sure, Elaine?” said Ryland, grinning. “I’d be happy to take you for a spin. You know, seeing as my pregnant materefusesto dance.”
Lia elbowed him.
“No, thanks. I’m fine.” Ryland was sweet, but she didn’t want to dance with him.
She wanted to dance with Connor. She wanted to dance with Lloyd. And she felt guilty for wanting both.
Why did life have to be so complicated? Wasn’t it bad enough her mate had been ripped from her? Suzan talked about theuniverse. What was the goddamn universe thinking by making her feel this way about Connor?
After Lloyd was killed, Elaine had read somewhere that God gave people only what they could handle. That there was some sort of lesson to be learned in every experience.
What on earth was she supposed to learn from losing her mate? Was this some sort of test? If so, surely she’d already failed.
Lloyd, why did you leave me?
Her bear let out a mournful cry. She put her hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t howl along with it.
Breathe, Elaine.
And yet she couldn’t breathe. She stared at the floor tiles, at the lined pattern in the shiny, new hardwood. If she cut out all the noise and concentrated on her heart, she could almost hear the irregular beat. Every time she thought of Lloyd, she could swear the spaces between the beats grew longer and longer.
A pair of black men’s shoes appeared in her field of vision. She looked up, her gaze panning slowly from the black dress pants to the blue tie to Connor’s earnest face.
